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Index of Articles and Announcements
Jerry: Marriage is a big step, Elaine. Your life'll totally change.
Elaine: Jerry, It's three-thirty in the morning. I'm at a cockfight. What am I clinging to? ............Seinfeld, The Little Jerry, 1/9/97 WHY are you sticking around, or coming back for more??? Great article and checklist on Traumatic Bonding with abusers and psychopaths: http://www.womansavers.com/relationship-articles.asp?a=127 *** If you're ready to make some life changes and looking for a new direction, please check out 5 Successful Ways to Stay Depressed by my dear friend Stacy Lynn Harp of Active Christian Media, who also has an extensive background as a marriage and family therapist. A great value, you get both the audio and e-book for $5, filled with wisdom and humor. You'll love Stacy as much as I do! Enjoy! Love and blessings, Sister Renee ***Christian writer Cynthia Bailey-Rug is compiling an e-book which will be available free-of-charge on her website for people who have been abused and overcome their pain, or are in the process of overcoming their pain, by the grace of our Heavenly Father. She is looking for testimonies from survivors. If you would like your story to be considered for inclusion in her book, you can find more information by clicking here. ***Don't miss the wonderful website Light's House. It's chock full of great articles and resources on Toxic Parents,the things they do, and how to deal with them. I highly recommend the section on Reducing Contact, especially Light's step-by-step guide and resources for protecting yourself when your abusive parent will not leave you alone. CLICK HERE to visit this very helpful site. ***Check out this wonderful interview on forgiveness with David Augsburger, Professor of Pastoral Care at Fuller Theological Seminary. CLICK HERE to read or listen.
***Click here to check out Adult Children of Dysfunctional Families for some great articles, websites, books, and other rescources. ****WHY DO DESTRUCTIVE NARCISSISTIC RELATIVES JUST LOVE TO RUIN OUR HOLIDAYS??? FOR THE EYE-OPENING UNVARNISHED TRUTH, READ DR. SAM VAKNIN'S RIVETING ARTICLE 'A HOLIDAY GRUDGE': http://samvak.tripod.com/journal40.html ****For a healthy dose of common sense, don't miss Anna Valerious' wonderfully well-written, educational, and intriguing blog Narcissists Suck. CLICK HERE. ****Ever hear the "I'm Not Perfect" excuse for abuse? Is it "I'm not perfect", or should it really be "I'm just plain evil"? Don't miss this great analysis and blog by Soaring Dove- CLICK HERE. ****Check out the Characteristics of Narcissistic Mothers by clicking HERE. ****Don't miss this wonderfully educational and healing resource whose motto is "The Pain Stops Here" (PLEASE NOTE: This is a secular forum, not a Christian forum)- Daughters Of Narcissistic Mothers.com. CLICK HERE. ***ANSWER TO PSYCHOPATH RIDDLE: She reasons that if he was at her mother's funeral, he must be a friend of the family. So, if there's another family funeral, maybe he'll show up again...... Did you get it wrong? Well, don't feel bad. You don't think like a psychopath, but until now you also didn't understand how they think. At least now you know what you're up against. ****Many thanks and blessings to our dear Sister Pavitra for allowing us to post her original poem "A Poem To My Family Of Origin" on our site. It is an inspiring poem of victory over abuse and triumph over evil. You can find it in our Claiming The Victory section or just click on the link above. May you be blessed by it as we have been. ***Thank you so much to all who have posted our website on your blogs and chat groups. Because of you taking the time to help others, you have made it possible for us to help others as well. It is so uplifting to know that so many are standing up for what is right and taking a stand against abuse. We are so grateful for you and we remember you always in our prayers. Keep spreading the word, and God bless you. With much love, Sisters Renee & Denise ***Many thanks to Dr. Sam Vaknin, author of the book 'Malignant Self-Love- Narcissism Revisited' and well-known for his extensive studies on narcissistic abuse and how to deal with it, for publicizing our website on his sites, and for sending us numerous links to his own websites and others so we could add them to our links page. Click on The Lord's Links and check out these very educational sites. ***Are you the Black Sheep of your family? If so, Dr. Angela Woodhull would like to interview you for her new book, 'EVERY FAMILY NEEDS A BLACK SHEEP.' Dr. Woodhull is a psychologist, minister, teacher, private investigator, journalist and author of numerous articles and books, including 'Coping With Difficult Teachers', 'Private Investigation Strategies & Techniques', and 'Police Communication in Traffic Stops'. If you are interested in participating, you can call Dr. Woodhull at 352 332-0514 and reverse the charges. You can also write to her at PO Box 14423, Gainesville, FL 32604-2423, or e-mail her at chachaangelina@yahoo.com.
Great article on 'honoring' abusive parents from Christianity Today:
***BY POPULAR DEMAND, we have added a section of resources for DELIVERANCE & SPIRITUAL WARFARE to our links page. Please click on THE LORD'S LINKS. *** Don't forget to click on our Prayer List and remember our sisters and brothers in your prayers. You can send us any names you would like to add at luke173@hotmail.com or PO Box 684, Chestertown, NY 12817. You must include your full name although it will not be published. We will pray for everyone , not just abuse victims. And, YES, you can add yourself! ***If you have a question or a topic relating to birth-family abuse that you would like us to write about in the future, please e-mail us. We are always grateful for new ideas. If the Lord directs us to write about your topic, your name will not be published as we are committed to protecting your privacy. All requests will be prayerfully considered and we ask for your prayers as well as we wait on the Lord's word. DON'T MISS OUR BOOK REVIEWS IN THE READING SPOTLIGHT SECTION!
NEW ARTICLES:
IS IT UN-CHRISTIAN OR POLITICALLY INCORRECT TO CALL A DIRTBAG A DIRTBAG? WHEN YOUR ABUSER OR ESTRANGED RELATIVE DIES- CONDOLENCES, OBITUARIES, AND GOING TO THE FUNERAL "MY DAYS ARE NUMBERED!" (AND YOU'RE SPEEDING IT UP BY CONFRONTING ME), OR "I'M SICK SO YOU CAN'T HOLD ME ACCOUNTABLE. HOOVERING 101 AND NO CONTACT 101
SECTION INDEX: #We've made it easier for you to read our own personal stories. Articles containing our testimonies are marked with a #. God bless, Sister Renee & Sister Denise These articles (titled in bold below) are currently available in the following sections (underlined). You can click on the articles directly from this index, or If you click on the title of each Section on the left menu, you will then be able to click on the articles in that Section.
ADULT-CHILD ABUSE- THE ONLY ABUSE STILL ACCEPTED: The Abuse That Society Condones ONLINE OPINION POLL: TELL US YOUR THOUGHTS! Whether to Attend the Funeral or Visit the Deathbed of An Estranged Relative A LITTLE ABOUT US: # Sister Renee And Sister Denise CURRENT NEWSLETTER & PAST NEWSLETTERS: ***For Links to Past Newsletters, please click on the Newsletter link on the left menu and links to all the past newsletters will appear underneath it. BIRTH-FAMILY ABUSES OF ADULT DAUGHTERS: Overview- The Many Abuses of Adult Daughters # Always A Losing Proposition: Dondi's Story and Babette's Story # Still The Boss After All These Years # The Family Freeloader- Sob Stories, Con Games, And Never Having To Get Off The Couch Betrayal & Treachery- Killing A Relationship The Fast Way # When Is It Ever Going To Be My Turn?- The Exploitation Habit- If You Start It, They Will Come! WHY THEY ABUSE, BETRAY, OR ABANDON YOU: # Why?- Trying To Understand An Abuser's Motivation #Family Jealousy- The Shameful Secret Behind Abuse And Betrayal THE SILENT PARTNER & THE SILENT MAJORITY: Introduction to the Co-Conspirators # The Devil's Advocate: Handling The Family Meddler...Oops, I Mean 'Peacemaker' -Including The Appalling Story Of How My Meddling Ex-Cousin Made My Mother Cry On Her Deathbed # They Can't All Be Wrong And You Right...Or Can They?- -Family Mob Mentality, The Pathological Denial Of The Truth, And The Scapegoating Of Those Who Speak It THE EFFECTS OF ABUSE: Overview- What Are The Effects of Abuse? SETTING & ENFORCING LIMITS & BOUNDARIES: Introduction to Setting Limits Enforcing Consequences Is Not Revenge # Setting Limits- The Cure For Getting No Respect What about "Love Your Enemies"? (Matthew 5:44-48) REBUKING: Rebuke- It's For Their Own Good # Reaping What They Sow- The Natural Consequences Of Bad Behavior Is It Un-Christian Or Politically Incorrect to Call A Dirtbag A Dirtbag? REPENTING & APOLOGIES: The 3 Rs Of Accountability- Repentance, Restitution, and Personal Responsibility # Why Don't They Just Apologize? Meaningful Vs. Meaningless Apologies FORGIVENESS-NOT NECESSARILY WHAT YOU THINK: No Forgiveness For The Unrepentant Different Degrees Of Reconciliation- Go With Your Comfort Level Forgiveness- Does It Matter If The Abuser Is A 'Born-Again Christian'? THE ABUSER'S REACTIONS TO REBUKE OR DIVORCE: Overview- What an Abuser Does INSTEAD of Apologizing and Changing Her Hurtful Behavior # "Let's Go To Counseling Together And Work On Our Problems" # The Preemptive Strike- Kissing Up To Your Spouse, Or Trying To Get Rid Of Him # The Old Age Excuses: She's Old- That's How They Get & He's Old- So He's Entitled # Spin Control- Making Abuse Sound Like A GOOD Thing 'You're Not Supposed To Judge Me'- The Difference Between Judging And Rebuking # 'After All I've Done For You....'- Trotting Out The 'You Owe Me' Excuse For Abuse REPROBATES & CUTTING TIES: Overview- What Is A Reprobate? # When Your Abuser Or Estranged Relative Dies- Condolences, Obituaries, And Going To The Funeral # Cutting Ties-Knowing When It's Time To Walk Away Hoovering 101 And No Contact 101 # Should I Let My Estranged Relatives Have Contact With My Children? # Satan's Evil Minion- The Unredeemable Reprobate # A Portrait Of Evil, Or How My Birth-Father Finally Sank Too Low To Dig Himself Out HAPPIER HOLIDAYS: Overview- Is It Time For A Change? #But I'm A Mother, Too! The Mother's Day and Father's Day Dilemmas # Enriching Your Holidays While Including Your Birth-Family CLAIMING THE VICTORY: Victorious Lives- Our Birthright as GOD'S Children A Poem To My Family Of Origin....By Sister Pavitra # My Name Is Renee...But It Used To Be Linda # Getting Over A Lost Relationship # Honour Thy Father And Thy Mother Is God Really Telling Us To Honor Abusive Parents? GOD'S WORD: Selected Scriptures From God's Holy Word THE WISDOM OF PROVERBS: Selections From The Book Of Proverbs READING SPOTLIGHT (Book Reviews): Boundaries- When To Say Yes, When To Say No, To Take Control Of Your Life Toxic Parents- Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy And Reclaiming Your Life Heal & Forgive- Forgiveness In The Face Of Abuse Heal & Forgive II- The Journey From Abuse And Estrangement To Reconciliation The Power Of Apology-Healing Steps To Transform All Your Relationships When You And Your Mother Can't Be Friends - Resolving The Most Complicated Relationship Of Your Life Children Of The Self-Absorbed - A Grown-Up's Guide To Getting Over Narcissistic Parents The Control Freak - Coping With Those Around You, Taming The One Within The Holy Bible, 1 John, 2 John, 3 John Safe People- How To Find Relationships That Are Good For You And Avoid Those That Aren't OUR REAL FATHER: The Biblical Duties Of A Proper Parent JOY IN JESUS: WWJRD? What Would Jesus REALLY Do? THE FREEDOM OF THE HOLY SPIRIT
RECEIVING A WORD FROM THE LORD: Receiving A Word From The Lord Recognizing A Word From The Lord FINDING PEACE: HELPFUL DEFINITIONS OF SOME OF THE TERMS WE USE THE LORD'S LINKS- SOME GREAT RESOURCES
Copyright 2002-2016.-All articles on this site are copyrighted. Permission to copy is granted for non-profit use only.Please help yourself to anything we write if you can use it to help others. A link back to this site is our only requirement. Please contact us for any commercial or other use. All e-mails, letters, and other correspondence become the property of Luke 17:3 Ministries, Inc. Due to the large volume of e-mails, we're sorry that we are unable to personally answer every one, but we do lift everyone who writes to us in prayer to the Lord.
The Lord specifically called Sister Renee to minister to Adult Children, not their parents, estranged siblings or friends, abusive or abused spouses, or victims of other types of abuse, although what we write here can often be meaningful for those folks as well. Because of this, our ministry and website have a narrow focus which we will not be changing. We simply can't cover everything. In addition, it is not our purpose to help you re-establish contact with someone who felt it was necessary to cut you off for the sake of their own well-being. We do not keep a list of resources for estranged parents or any other type of abuse and suggest if you are sincerely interested in making amends with an estranged relative, you do an internet search for a website or group that will be more relevant to you. If you cannot find a group or site that you can relate to, we suggest you start your own, and bless other people in your position as well as find support for your personal issues.
For Adult Children and others as well, please understand that we cannot give you personal advice concerning your particular family relationships. We are not therapists or lawyers, we usually do not have enough information to form an opinion, and time does not permit us to give enough thought to each person's individual situation to do it justice. If you need personal advice, we urge you to contact the appropriate professional, depending on the problem you have- your minister, therapist, attorney, police department, local domestic violence hotline, etc. In reading this site, you acknowledge that nothing you might read here qualifies as or substitutes for professional advice. Please note we cannot recommend or refer you to a counselor and we do not have a list of therapists or recovery groups in your area. The only Counselor we recommend is the Holy Ghost, and we encourage you to read the Bible and learn for yourself what the Lord says about the issues we write about.
Our articles are strictly our personal opinions and testimonies and are not intended to give or offer any advice. All who access this site do so with the understanding that we are NOT professional counselors and we strongly recommend that you discuss your individual situation with your pastor or therapist and pray for the Lord's guidance before acting on anything we write on this site. Unfortunately, the abuse we discuss is all too common, inflicted on countless victims by countless perpetrators. All names and identifying details in our articles have been changed to protect the innocent as well as the guilty. Any resemblance to a real person or persons whom you might know is strictly coincidental.
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