Don't miss Sister Renee's new book Narcissistic Confrontations: A Biblical Guide to Your Abusive Family and Church Family's Battle Tactics, Covert Operations, and Nuclear Meltdowns. You can find it and read a full description on Amazon HERE, Barnesandnoble HERE, or read the book's webpage HERE.It is also available in Kindle, Nook and e-book format. We pray that it blesses you mightily!
April 2013~ We are thrilled to announce that we have reached ONE MILLION HITS on our site. Thank you Jesus! And thank you to all who pass our website along to others. God bless you!
If you are blessed with what you read on this site and are looking for some extra support and encouragement, please join us on facebook! See you there!
***In just the first week of January 2013, we had over 9000 hits on our site! This means the Christmas season was especially stressful for many of us. Now that the holidays are over, many of us regret including our abusive relatives in what should have been a nice celebration. Are you looking for different holiday ideas for the future? This is Sister Renee's latest interview with Stacy Lynn Harp and Randall Harp of Active Christian Media. We talk about managing holiday depression and dealing with toxic families, and give some helpful tips for holidays such as Easter and Mother's Day as well as Christmas and Thanksgiving~ Click here to listen. Hope you enjoy it and find it helpful :)
This great post from our Sister Jenni really sums up how so many of us feel during the holiday season. Many thanks to Jenni for sharing her feelings with us and putting it into words so perfectly~
I hear you all on the holiday grief. For some reason this year I feel a bit frozen... In the past I have felt really angry/sad because my kids don't have reasonable grandparents, we have very little family to have any kind of traditions with. I just feel like Christmas is coming WAY too soon and I'm not emotionally ready for it. I want to hit the 'ignore' button. Which probably means I'm shoving something under. Maybe multiple things under. I feel like I'm just going through the motions and I really don't care, don't feel like dealing with a tree, or lights, or any of the usual fun stuff. I don't really care that my family sucks and husband's family sucks and husband sucks a lot of the time. I'm just tired.
I'm tired of being the responsible one. I'm tired of being the
one who cares, who thinks, who motivates. I'm tired of having people ask me to do things they are clearly capable of doing themselves. I'm tired of 'helpless' narcissistic people. I'm tired of going to stores and looking over my shoulder for crazy family. I'm tired of being the one they accost rather than their own son. I'm tired of hearing that my mother is lying about me, about what I said, about what she said, about what she did. I'm tired of my husband's family lying about me, about who I am, about what I am, about what I have said, about what I believe, about who they are, about what they have said. I'm tired of stupid people's stupid excuses for the mean and nasty things they do and say. I'm tired of having to explain to my kids that just because we are surrounded by Ns in our family does NOT mean the rest of the world should be viewed with suspicion. I'm tired of worrying that my kids will grow up to be like the N family. I'm tired of being so exhausted I can't do the things I truly enjoy. I'm just flippin
Wow... I did NOT know all that was in my head.
***For some holiday encouragement and helpful suggestions, check out our Happier Holidays section. After you click this link and the page opens, look on the left menu under the "Happier Holidays" heading and you will find a drop down menu with some additional holiday articles you can click and read.
***DON'T MISS THESE 3 GREAT RADIO INTERVIEWS WITH SISTER RENEE~
***Sister Renee's interview on 7/19/2011 with Stacy Lynn Harp of Active Christian Media. Stacy, Randall and I talk about wrongful church teachings on evil,unmerited forgiveness, victim's reactions,etc. Includes 3 clips from In The Market with Janet Parshall interviewing Neil Anderson as they respond to callers who need help. We really get into some meaty subjects! Don't miss our discussion on Luke 23:34 "Father forgive them for they know not what they do!" Many thanks to Stacy and Randall for another great interview :) http://www.blogtalkradio.com/acmedia/2011/07/19/can-there-be-forgiveness-without-repentence
***Another great interview with Sister Renee and Stacy Lynn Harp of Active Christian Media- This time we cover topics like restitution, abuser's funerals, setting limits, circular arguments, "personality disorders", N's abandonment issues, etc. Many thanks to Stacy Lynn and ACM. Click here for the podomatic link. Enjoy and share please :)
***Check out Sister Renee's interview with Stacy Lynn Harp of Active Christian Media. They talk about narcissistic families, forgiveness without repentance, Sister Renee's book Breaking the Bonds of Adult Child Abuse including excerpts, and much more. Click here for the blogtalkradio link and here for the podomatic link. Many thanks to Stacy Lynn Harp and Active Christian Media, and praise the Lord!
***We are thrilled to announce the release of Sister Renee's new book "Breaking the Bonds of Adult Child Abuse: A Biblical Textbook on Abusive Narcissistic Families, How They Operate, And How To Deal With Them". It's 650 pages jam-packed with help, information and scriptural references. You can click here for the book's webpage for details and an e-book version, or go directly to barnesandnoble.com or amazon.com to order it in paperback or Kindle. Thank you everyone for all your prayers and encouragement, we are praying that this book will bless you mightily. Thank you Lord!
Looking for a great present for that special someone ? Wrap up a copy of Narcissistic Predicaments or The Family Freeloader. The perfect gift for your husband, wife, sister, brother, friend, or anyone who is trying to deal with a narcissistic family :)
***Like us? Visit our facebook page and "like" us, and voice your opinions on our facebook discussions about narcissists, abuse, and survival. To all who ask for advice, we are sorry we cannot provide it on an individual basis or refer you to a counselor (other than the Holy Ghost!) but we hope you'll find support and encouragement on our facebook page- See you there!
***PLEASE review these books on Amazon and BarnesandNoble after you read them. You would be helping us a great deal! Thank you so much.
***Thank you from the bottom of our hearts to everyone who posted links to our site or mentioned it on your sites, blogs, articles, chat groups and boards over the last year. We had 449,181 hits in 2013! God bless you for helping us minister to those who are hurting. Please keep spreading the word of freedom in truth and our Father's love for HIS children!***
When my father and my mother forsake me,
then the Lord will take me up........Psalm 27: 10 KJV
"Therefore, in the present case I advise you: Leave these men alone! Let them go! For if their purpose or activity is of human origin, it will fail. But if it is from God, you will not be able to stop these men; you will only find yourselves fighting against God"....Acts 5: 38-39
"When people show you who they are, believe them"...Maya Angelou.
Leonard- "You can catch more flies with honey than vinegar."
Sheldon- "You can catch even MORE flies with manure. What's your point?"
......from The Big Bang Theory
"Listen! And understand! That terminator is out there. It can't be bargained with! It can't be reasoned with! It doesn't feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop, ever, until you are dead!".....Kyle Reese, The Terminator, 1984
Do you think you understand how a psychopath thinks? Here's a riddle for you:
A young woman is at her mother's funeral. There she meets a man she's never seen before. They talk for awhile and she feels an instant connection to him- it's love at first sight. He's everything she's ever wanted in a man. She could easily see herself spending the rest of her life with him. She can't believe she's finally found her Prince Charming! The only problem is, she doesn't get his name or number before he leaves.
Two weeks later, she kills her sister.
Take some time to think about it, and then scroll down for the answer.
Our Father's Promises To Us
And I heard a great voice out of heaven saying, Behold, the tabernacle of God is with men, and he will dwell with them, and they shall be his people, and God himself shall be with them, and be their God. And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away. And he that sat upon the throne said, Behold, I make all things new....Revelation 21: 3-5 KJV.
Check back next week for another Promise from God......
***WOW***~over ***ONE MILLION*** hits!Our site has been logged onto from223 countries and translated into 37 languages! Please keep posting us on your groups, blogs and boards. We are reaching more and more survivors every day! Praise the Lord! All the glory goes to him!
Welcome and peace to our friends in The United States, Canada, England, Wales, Scotland, Ireland, Northern Ireland, Australia, Spain, Germany, Kenya, South Africa, Norway, Philippines, France, Trinidad & Tobago, Ivory Coast, Guam, Sweden, South Korea, Chile, Brazil, Bangladesh, Poland, India, Croatia, Fiji, Slovakia, Netherlands, Israel, New Zealand, Malaysia, Taiwan, Mexico, Belgium, Japan, French Guiana, St. Lucia, Greece, Hong Kong, Antigua & Barbuda, Kuwait, Denmark, Italy, Nigeria, Egypt, Eritrea, Suriname, Portugal, Peru, Turkey, Bulgaria, Switzerland, Ghana, United Arab Emirates, Puerto Rico, Singapore, Iran, Seychelles, Barbados, Czech Republic, St. Kitts & Nevis, Vietnam, Pakistan, Thailand, Lithuania, Benin, Cyprus, US Virgin Islands, Hungary, British Virgin Islands, Togo, Bermuda, Finland, Moldova, Aruba, Saudi Arabia, Panama, Dominican Republic, Iraq, Uganda, The Bahamas, Jamaica, Sri Lanka, Indonesia, China, Russia, Argentina, Malta, Serbia, Slovenia, Qatar, Senegal, Oman, Lebanon, Romania, Kazakhstan, Jordan, Burundi,Tanzania, Haiti, Austria, Namibia, Saint Vincent and The Grenadines, Anguilla, Malawi, Ethiopia, Ecuador, Zimbabwe, Mauritius, Cape Verde, Zambia, Ukraine, Estonia, Latvia, Morocco, Guyana,Venezuela, Cambodia, Colombia, Honduras, Netherlands Antilles,Yemen, Bolivia, Northern Mariana Islands, Saint Lucia, Iceland, Belarus, Nepal, Costa Rica, Mozambique, Botswana, Dominica, Bosnia and Herzegovina,Gibraltar, Jersey,Tunisia,The Faeroe Islands, Azerbaijan, Burkina Faso, Mongolia, Brunei, Granada, Sudan, Syria, Cayman Islands,Georgia, Lesotho, Angola, Libya, Cameroon, Montenegro, Algeria, Bahrain, Isle of Man, Guatemala, the Marshall Islands, El Salvador, Iceland, Luxembourg, Papua New Guinea, the Solomon Islands, Albania, Bhutan, Maldives, Afghanistan, Mauritania,Cuba, Uganda, Armenia,Gambia, Belize,Guadeloupe, Macedonia, French Polynesia, Myanmar (Burma), Paraguay, Rwanda,Cook Islands, Swaziland, Laos, Monaco, New Caledonia, Guernsey, Liechtenstein, the Palestinian Territories, Somalia, Nicaragua, Sierra Leone, Kyrgyzstan, Gabon, Swaziland, Madagascar, Andorra, Uzbekistan, New Caledonia,Turks and Caicos Islands, Congo, Micronesia, Macau, Andorra, Reunion, Curacao, Cook Islands, Niger, Djibouti, Martinique, Liberia, Sint Maarten, Kosovo,Vanuatu, Palestine, Samoa,Turkmenistan, and South Sudan.
The Lord said, "Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by." Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper. When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave............1 Kings 19: 11-13 NIV
And if any place will not welcome you or listen to you, shake the dust off your feet when you leave, as a testimony against them.....Mark 6:11
Jerry: Marriage is a big step, Elaine. Your life'll totally change.
Elaine: Jerry, It's three-thirty in the morning. I'm at a cockfight. What am I clinging to?
............Seinfeld, The Little Jerry, 1/9/97
WHY are you sticking around, or coming back for more??? Great article and checklist on Traumatic Bonding with abusers and psychopaths:
*** If you're ready to make some life changes and looking for a new direction, please check out 5 Successful Ways to Stay Depressed by my dear friend Stacy Lynn Harp of Active Christian Media, who also has an extensive background as a marriage and family therapist. A great value, you get both the audio and e-book for $5, filled with wisdom and humor. You'll love Stacy as much as I do! Enjoy! Love and blessings, Sister Renee
***Christian writer Cynthia Bailey-Rug is compiling an e-book which will be available free-of-charge on her website for people who have been abused and overcome their pain, or are in the process of overcoming their pain, by the grace of our Heavenly Father. She is looking for testimonies from survivors. If you would like your story to be considered for inclusion in her book, you can find more information by clicking here.
***Don't miss the wonderful website Light's House. It's chock full of great articles and resources on Toxic Parents,the things they do, and how to deal with them. I highly recommend the section on Reducing Contact, especially Light's step-by-step guide and resources for protecting yourself when your abusive parent will not leave you alone. CLICK HERE to visit this very helpful site.
***Check out this wonderful interview on forgiveness with David Augsburger, Professor of Pastoral Care at Fuller Theological Seminary. CLICK HERE to read or listen.
****FOR ARTICLES ON FINALLY CHANGING YOUR HOLIDAYS FOR THE BETTER, VISIT OUR 'HAPPIER HOLIDAYS' SECTION.
***ANSWER TO PSYCHOPATH RIDDLE: She reasons that if he was at her mother's funeral, he must be a friend of the family. So, if there's another family funeral, maybe he'll show up again......
Did you get it wrong? Well, don't feel bad. You don't think like a psychopath, but until now you also didn't understand how they think. At least now you know what you're up against.
****Many thanks and blessings to our dear Sister Pavitra for allowing us to post her original poem "A Poem To My Family Of Origin" on our site. It is an inspiring poem of victory over abuse and triumph over evil. You can find it in our Claiming The Victory section or just click on the link above. May you be blessed by it as we have been.
***Thank you so much to all who have posted our website on your blogs and chat groups. Because of you taking the time to help others, you have made it possible for us to help others as well. It is so uplifting to know that so many are standing up for what is right and taking a stand against abuse. We are so grateful for you and we remember you always in our prayers. Keep spreading the word, and God bless you. With much love, Sisters Renee & Denise
***Many thanks to Dr. Sam Vaknin, author of the book 'Malignant Self-Love- Narcissism Revisited' and well-known for his extensive studies on narcissistic abuse and how to deal with it, for publicizing our website on his sites, and for sending us numerous links to his own websites and others so we could add them to our links page. Click on The Lord's Links and check out these very educational sites.
***Are you the Black Sheep of your family? If so, Dr. Angela Woodhull would like to interview you for her new book, 'EVERY FAMILY NEEDS A BLACK SHEEP.' Dr. Woodhull is a psychologist, minister, teacher, private investigator, journalist and author of numerous articles and books, including 'Coping With Difficult Teachers', 'Private Investigation Strategies & Techniques', and 'Police Communication in Traffic Stops'. If you are interested in participating, you can call Dr. Woodhull at 352 332-0514 and reverse the charges. You can also write to her at PO Box 14423, Gainesville, FL 32604-2423, or e-mail her firstname.lastname@example.org.
Great article on 'honoring' abusive parents from Christianity Today:
***BY POPULAR DEMAND, we have added a section of resources for DELIVERANCE & SPIRITUAL WARFARE to our links page. Please click on THE LORD'S LINKS.
*** Don't forget to click on our Prayer List and remember our sisters and brothers in your prayers. You can send us any names you would like to add at email@example.com or PO Box 684, Chestertown, NY 12817. You must include your full name although it will not be published. We will pray for everyone , not just abuse victims. And, YES, you can add yourself!
***If you have a question or a topic relating to birth-family abuse that you would like us to write about in the future, please e-mail us. We are always grateful for new ideas. If the Lord directs us to write about your topic, your name will not be published as we are committed to protecting your privacy. All requests will be prayerfully considered and we ask for your prayers as well as we wait on the Lord's word.
DON'T MISS OUR BOOK REVIEWS IN THE READING SPOTLIGHT SECTION!
#We've made it easier for you to read our own personal stories. Articles containing our testimonies are marked with a #. God bless, Sister Renee & Sister Denise
These articles (titled in bold below) are currently available in the following sections(underlined). You can click on the articles directly from this index, or If you click on the title of each Section on the left menu, you will then be able to click on the articles in that Section.
Copyright 2002-2016.-All articles on this site are copyrighted. Permission to copy is granted for non-profit use only.Please help yourself to anything we write if you can use it to help others. A link back to this site is our only requirement. Please contact us for any commercial or other use. All e-mails, letters, and other correspondence become the property of Luke 17:3 Ministries, Inc. Due to the large volume of e-mails, we're sorry that we are unable to personally answer every one, but we do lift everyone who writes to us in prayer to the Lord.
The Lord specifically called Sister Renee to minister to Adult Children, not their parents, estranged siblings or friends, abusive or abused spouses, or victims of other types of abuse, although what we write here can often be meaningful for those folks as well. Because of this, our ministry and website have a narrow focus which we will not be changing. We simply can't cover everything. In addition, it is not our purpose to help you re-establish contact with someone who felt it was necessary to cut you off for the sake of their own well-being. We do not keep a list of resources for estranged parents or any other type of abuse and suggest if you are sincerely interested in making amends with an estranged relative, you do an internet search for a website or group that will be more relevant to you. If you cannot find a group or site that you can relate to, we suggest you start your own, and bless other people in your position as well as find support for your personal issues.
For Adult Children and others as well, please understand that we cannot give you personal advice concerning your particular family relationships. We are not therapists or lawyers, we usually do not have enough information to form an opinion, and time does not permit us to give enough thought to each person's individual situation to do it justice. If you need personal advice, we urge you to contact the appropriate professional, depending on the problem you have- your minister, therapist, attorney, police department, local domestic violence hotline, etc. In reading this site, you acknowledge that nothing you might read here qualifies as or substitutes for professional advice. Please note we cannot recommend or refer you to a counselor and we do not have a list of therapists or recovery groups in your area. The only Counselor we recommend is the Holy Ghost, and we encourage you to read the Bible and learn for yourself what the Lord says about the issues we write about.
Our articles are strictly our personal opinions and testimonies and are not intended to give or offer any advice. All who access this site do so with the understanding that we are NOT professional counselors and we strongly recommend that you discuss your individual situation with your pastor or therapist and pray for the Lord's guidance before acting on anything we write on this site. Unfortunately, the abuse we discuss is all too common, inflicted on countless victims by countless perpetrators. All names and identifying details in our articles have been changed to protect the innocent as well as the guilty. Any resemblance to a real person or persons whom you might know is strictly coincidental.
We appreciate hearing from you! All e-mails, letters, and other correspondence become the property of Luke 17:3 Ministries, Inc. Due to the large volume of e-mails, we're sorry that we are unable to personally answer every one, but we do lift everyone who writes to us in prayer to the Lord.The Lord specifically called Sister Renee to minister to Adult Children, not their parents, estranged siblings or friends, abusive or abused spouses, or victims of other types of abuse, although what we write here can often be meaningful for those folks as well. Because of this, our ministry has a narrow focus which we will not be changing. We simply can't cover everything. In addition, it is not our purpose to help you re-establish contact with someone who felt it was necessary to cut you off for the sake of their own well-being. We do not keep a list of resources for estranged parents or other types of abuse and suggest if you are sincerely interested in making amends, you do an internet search for a website or group that will be more relevant to you. If you cannot find a group or site that you can relate to, we suggest you start your own and bless other people in your position as well as find support for your personal issues. For Adult Children and others as well, please understand that we cannot give you personal advice concerning your particular family relationships. We are not therapists or lawyers, we usually do not have enough information to form an opinion, and time does not permit us to give enough thought to each person's individual situation to do it justice. If you need personal advice, we urge you to contact the appropriate professional, depending on the problem you have- your minister, therapist, attorney, police department, local domestic violence hotline, etc. Please note we cannot recommend or refer you to a counselor and we do not have a list of therapists or recovery groups in your area, so you'll need to do your own research in your locale and with your insurance company, and try a few until you find a therapist who's a good fit. The only Counselor we can recommend is the Holy Ghost, and we encourage you to read the Bible and learn for yourself what the Lord says about the issues we write about. May the blessings and peace of the Lord be with you.