HOLIDAYS 2005 Newsletter
LUKE 17:3
Ministries
for
adult daughters
of
controlling or abusive birth-families
A
sisterhood for those who seek support in developing self-esteem, setting
boundaries and limits, forgiveness, Godly confrontation, recognizing and cutting
ties with reprobates, healing, and rejoicing in the peace and love
of
the Lord, our
Father
take
heed to yourselves. If thy brother
trespass against thee, rebuke him; and if he repent, forgive him……..Luke
17:3
Merry Christmas! Happy
Thanksgiving! Happy New Year!
VOLUME
3, ISSUE 4
HOLIDAYS
2005
Luke 17: 3 is the scripture often misquoted, usually by an abuser or his
enabler, when he tells you that the Bible says “Forgive and Forget”, or that you
must forgive him because you are a
Christian. However, Jesus is very
specific when he tells us to rebuke the sinner, and if he repents,
to forgive him. Have you rebuked
your abuser, and has he or she repented?
THE
ONLY FORM OF ABUSE STILL CONDONED BY SOCIETY. THE ONLY ABUSE IN WHICH THE VICTIM IS
CRITICIZED OR ABANDONED FOR TRYING TO PROTECT HERSELF. CHILD ABUSE THAT DIDN’T END WHEN ADULTHOOD
BEGAN…THE CONTINUING ABUSE OF GROWN CHILDREN BY THEIR
PARENTS.
If
you have ever experienced Adult Child
Abuse by a parent, sibling, or other relative, We Welcome
You!
Our
newsletter is sent to you free-of-charge, as the Lord continually provides. Do
you know someone who would like to be on our mailing list?
If
so, please contact:
Rev.
Renee Pittelli
Luke
17:3 Ministries, Inc.
P.O.
Box
684
Chestertown,
NY 12817
or
E-mail us at:
Luke
173@hotmail.com
VISIT
OUR NEW WEBSITE AT:
www.luke173ministries.org
Please ask about our Luke 17:3 Ministry
in Tennessee, founded by Rev. Denise
Rossignol.
Thank
you Jesus!
Glory
to our King!
FAMILY
JEALOUSY
THE
SHAMEFUL SECRET BEHIND ABUSE AND BETRAYAL
Part
2
By Rev.
Renee Pittelli
A jealous, envious, or competitive relative will never be happy for
you. She will not celebrate your
joys or successes, but she WILL celebrate your sorrows or failures, and although
she might make an effort to keep it to herself, you will sense it. It will kill her to compliment or
congratulate you. She doesn’t
believe you deserve anything nice, or that you worked hard for something- she
believes it’s just dumb luck- and why shouldn’t it happen to her instead of
you?
She will make lame excuses not to be a part of your happy occasions-
getting “sick” on the day of your wedding and miraculously recovering the next
day, being “too busy” to visit your new baby, “not being able to get a
babysitter” for a big party at your house.
She doesn’t want to see you surrounded by family or friends or
celebrating any happy events- it just kills her to watch you be happy!
When something bad happens to you, however, she will be there with bells
on. If you lose your job, you have
problems with
your kids, your husband
leaves you, or God forbid, anything
worse, she will swoop in
with false sympathy long enough to hear every gory detail and then disappear
just as quickly, without ever having actually done anything helpful.
(Continued on Page 2…….)
In bringing many sons to
glory, it was fitting that God, for whom and through whom everything exists,
should make the author of their salvation perfect through suffering. Both the one who makes men holy and
those who are made holy are of the same family. So Jesus is not ashamed to call them
brothers. He says, “I will declare
your name to my brothers; in the presence of the congregation I will sing your
praises.” And again, “I will put my trust in him.” And again he says, “Here am
I, and the children God has given me.”
Since the children have flesh and blood, he too shared in their humanity
so that by his death he might destroy him who holds the power of death- that is,
the devil- and free those who all their lives were held in slavery by their fear
of death… For this reason he had to be made like his brothers in every way, in
order that he might become a merciful and faithful high priest in service to
God, and that he might make atonement for the sins of the people…..Hebrews
2:14-15, 17
It’s as if she can’t wait
to get home and gloat in private, or call up everyone she knows and pass around
your bad news or revel in your tragedy.
And she will make it a point of claiming that you “deserved it” or
explaining how you screwed up and “brought it on yourself.” There will never be any true empathy,
compassion, comfort, or encouragement.
An envious relative will choke on the words “congratulations”, “good for
you” or “that’s so nice” when you achieve a goal or have a happy event. You can count on never, EVER hearing the
words, “I’m so happy for you”, or, heaven forbid, “I’m PROUD of you.” He is also completely unable to manage
any words of sympathy (or at least any sincere words of sympathy) when you are
grieving or in sorrow.
When my beloved cousin Tony died unexpectedly and very prematurely after
a short illness a week before Christmas, I was devastated. We were very close and he was like my
older brother. Tony had spent every
holiday at my house for many years and my husband and children were also
heartbroken. He was a gentle,
good-hearted soul whose loving and cheerful presence kept things on an even keel
at family gatherings despite my birth-father’s hostility and nastiness. Like all best friends, we chatted
frequently, went out to lunch, and spent a great deal of time together,
commiserating and laughing about the relatives we had in common.
Christmas the week after his passing was a very traumatic time for me,
and I missed him so much I couldn’t help but brush away the tears. Yet my birth-sister, who was in town for
her once-a-year visit on Christmas, never uttered a word of condolence. No sympathy whatsoever, not even an
acknowledgement that I had suffered a major loss in my life the week
before. She did not even mention
Tony’s name. She laughed,
chatted away about herself, and
celebrated the holidays with our cousins at our aunt’s house on Christmas Eve,
and then came to my house as usual on Christmas Day, eating the food I had
prepared through my tears and having a fine time without even acknowledging
Tony’s very conspicuous absence- as though nothing was the least bit out of the
ordinary.
Tony’s friends put together a wonderful memorial service for him a few
months later. Many spoke about how
much they loved him. I gave the
eulogy, and my husband and children attended as well. But not my birth-sister. She couldn’t be bothered. And even worse, not my mother, either-
even though she was Tony’s first cousin, she went to an anniversary party
instead. So while I tearfully
struggled to get through the eulogy I had written, neither my mother nor my b.s
(birth-sister) was there for any kind of support. It has been nine years since his tragic
passing and my family and I still miss him and feel his loss, especially around
the holidays, but never once has my b.s.
expressed her sympathy or even mentioned his name in all this
time.
Although I had expressed
sympathy to her in the past when she had lost people she cared for, the favor
was not returned. And since Tony’s
passing, she has made it clear to me that she STILL feels entitled to MY
sympathy and support if she loses a loved one, even though she gives none when
the situation is reversed. This is
a common characteristic of all narcissists. Sympathy FROM me was expected, but
sympathy FOR me was unheard-of.
Was she envious of the relationship my family and I had with Tony and the
love we felt for each other? Was
she jealous that I had been blessed with someone so terrific in my life? (I should mention that she could have
been close to Tony too, if she had ever made an effort to keep in touch, but she
didn’t- as she didn’t with most of the family. I had a special relationship with him,
as well as many other relatives, because I DO make that effort.) Was it a small victory in her one-sided
competition that he was gone and I didn’t have him anymore? Was she so selfish and self-centered
that only HER pain deserved an acknowledgement- and she was blind to anyone
else’s sorrow? Or was she secretly
glad to see me hurting over the holidays instead of being happy and enjoying
myself? I’ll never know- but her
completely ignoring the fact that I was mourning the loss of a loved one is
shockingly uncaring and unfeeling behavior coming from a so-called
“sister”.
A jealous relative will do everything he can to bring you down and keep
you down. This will range from
snide remarks and criticisms, to lying about you or gossiping behind your back,
to outright sabotage. I have seen
jealous parents or siblings purposely set up a situation to embarrass or upset
their unsuspecting family member- some even going so far as to sabotage their
relative’s job or marriage. If you
are joyful, he won’t be satisfied until he sees your smile vanish. If you are sorrowful, he’ll make sure to
say or do something when you are at
your lowest point to make you feel even worse.
In the Old Testament, we see that Cain murdered his brother Abel because
he was jealous of him (Genesis 4:4-8).
Abel never did anything to deserve being murdered by his brother. In Genesis chapter 37, we are told the
story of Joseph. Joseph’s brothers
were consumed with jealousy toward him, threw him in a well and plotted to kill
him. They eventually sold him into
slavery and told their father Jacob that he had been killed by a wild
animal. That is how much their
hatred burned toward their brother because of their own envy. But God loved Joseph, and prospered him
greatly, as he will also prosper us.
Genesis goes on to tell the rest of the story of Joseph and his
brothers. Joseph had a happy
ending, in which his brothers must come to him for survival and repent, he
forgives them, and they are all reunited, together with their father. Our happy ending may not be the same as
Joseph’s, but, sisters, I assure you that we will have our happy ending as
well! Thanks be to
God!
A jealous relative can only feel good if you feel bad. The last thing he wants is to know you
are happy. All his high points come at your expense. In a sick way, he is truly obsessed with
you and your life. Without
realizing it, you have become his focus.
It is a creepy feeling to know that you are just going about your normal
life and minding your own business, all the while being observed by a loved one
with jealousy in his heart who is just waiting for you to be hurt, upset, or
embarrassed in some way.
Perhaps he is angry that you are not as obsessed with him. Maybe he wants your attention and is
resentful of not being the center of the universe to you. In the case of a sibling, maybe he wants
your PARENTS’ attention or approval.
Perhaps he feels inferior in some way and can only feel better about
himself by bringing you down to what he unconsciously thinks is “his
level”. Or perhaps he really IS
inferior, and can only boost his own self- esteem by making you look or feel
foolish or bad. When a tragedy
happens to you, he is secretly thrilled, because all along he had been bitter at
whatever good things you had in your life.
This is a very important point that we must all beware of: many jealous relatives are very good at
getting you to reveal personal information which they will later use against
you. Be very cautious about
what you reveal. They are often
shameless in their prying and nosiness.
They will ask personal questions and become insulted if you decline to
answer. They are OVERLY INTERESTED
in every aspect of your life, including details that you consider less than
trivial. Remember that this is a
COMPETITION, even though YOU are not thinking of it in that way, and how can
your parent or sibling compare her life to yours and compete with you if she
doesn’t know all the details? If he
can’t drag information out of you, he will go behind your back and try to get
information about you from other sources or other people. “Minding your own business” doesn’t
exist in the minds of some jealous relatives- comparing their lives to yours IS
their business.
We usually think of people being jealous of concrete things, like your
marriage, your money, your house, your family, your looks, or even your
popularity. But it is often
difficult to figure out exactly what they are jealous of, because many times the
jealous relative has more friends, more money, a better house, or a better
figure than you do! Often it is the intangible things such as your personality,
your sense of humor, your intelligence, or your kindness that they envy and
resent.
Even righteousness and a Godly character can produce envy in those more
inclined to worldly ways. DO NOT BE LIKE CAIN, WHO BELONGED TO THE
EVIL ONE AND MURDERED HIS BROTHER.
AND WHY DID HE MURDER HIM?
BECAUSE HIS OWN ACTIONS WERE EVIL AND HIS BROTHER’S WERE RIGHTEOUS. DO
NOT BE SURPRISED, MY BROTHERS, IF THE WORLD HATES YOU…..1 John
3:12-13.
Misery loves company. Sometimes she is simply jealous because you are
content or happy with your life -and she isn’t. This is a vicious cycle- because the
reason she isn’t content or happy with her life IS her jealousy! If you suspect you have a jealous
relative, at the next family gathering, take the time to stop and observe
her. You will see for yourself that
it is just killing her that you are enjoying yourself and appear to be having a
good time. Pay close attention to
facial expressions, body language, eye contact, subject-changing,
attention-seeking behavior, sulking, and comments that are made, as well as what
is left unsaid. The resentment you
notice at a one-time event is only the tip of the iceberg compared to the
bitterness she feels when she sees that you are happy with the big things in
life- your faith, your family, your marriage, your friends, your job,
etc.
I did not always have a nice family and a nice life. Far from it, as most
of you already know. The Lord has
blessed me abundantly and taken care of me as his daughter since I have come to
know him as my Father. Godly people
are not by nature jealous, envious, or competitive- because the things of the
world are not important to us. We
know that our Father provides for our every need and gives us all we need to be
happy- and we are happy with all he gives us and supremely grateful; therefore,
we can be happy for others when he blesses them as well.
Sometimes I have been told by people, half in jest, that I’m “so lucky”
or that they envy my life, my family, etc.
But they are not willing to do what I d id to have this life- which is to
accept Jesus as my Lord and Savior.
Only through him can you have peace and joy. Only through him can you have everything
your heart will ever desire. Only
through him can all your dreams come true.
Unfortunately, jealous people prefer to wallow in their bitterness rather
than ask the Holy Spirit to give them a new heart.
We each need to decide what
our tolerance level is for phony relationships with people who will never be
happy for us and are just waiting for us to stumble or for some disaster to
befall us so that they can then feel good.
If you choose to have such a person in your life, know that you can never
share anything with her from your heart.
My personal opinion is that many such people can be downright dangerous
in many ways, and it is much safer for me, my husband, and my children if we
just stay away from them.
You will always be disappointed and disillusioned with a jealous family
member’s reaction if you share
upsetting news- you will never feel supported, she will manage to make you feel
even worse, and you will know she is secretly gloating. Any happy news will trigger her feelings
of inferiority and envy, which she will then take out on you somewhere down the
line. You can hardly call it a
close family relationship when you have to watch what you reveal and think twice
before you share anything about your own life.
Jealous people usually have few friends or family members willing to put
up with them- and this is a *Natural Consequence of their behavior . However, many envious relatives can behave pretty
normally with outsiders and are not jealous of EVERYONE else, they have singled
out just ONE unfortunate sibling or child to be the focus of their resentment-
and God help you if you are the unsuspecting “winner”. There is not much you can do about a
jealous parent or sibling except avoid them until they change their
attitude.
WHEN RACHEL SAW THAT SHE WAS NOT BEARING JACOB ANY CHILDREN, SHE BECAME
JEALOUS OF HER SISTER. SO SHE SAID
TO JACOB, “GIVE ME CHILDREN, OR I’LL DIE!”
JACOB BECAME ANGRY WITH HER AND SAID, “AM I IN THE PLACE OF GOD, WHO HAS
KEPT YOU FROM HAVING CHILDREN?”…..Genesis
30:1-2NIV
I often think of this scripture when dealing with jealous relatives, not
only when thinking about my own birth-sister’s apparent envy of me for having
children, but with all types of envy and jealousy. What especially rings true to me is
Jacob’s response to his wife’s unreasonable attitude of blaming him for whatever
she is not satisfied with in her own life.
He points out to her that he is not God, who decides who has children and
who doesn’t. Jacob is not
responsible for
Rachel’s unhappiness,
dissatisfactions, failures, bitterness, resentment, or feelings of jealousy and
envy.
We need to take a page from Jacob’s book and not allow others to make us
feel responsible for their unhappiness. We didn’t cause it, it is not our
doing, and it is not our fault.
Should we not have children because a relative is going to feel bad? Should we not accept a big promotion at
work because a family member is going to resent us if we are more successful
than he is? Should we not talk
about our friends because our mother is going to be jealous of our
popularity? Should we not buy a new
couch or a new car because we don’t want to trigger our sister’s feelings of
inferiority and envy?
With very few exceptions, someone who is unhappy or dissatisfied with his life can take
many positive steps to change things and to work toward his dreams, if only he
wanted to, instead of thinking that
if he can’t have something, no one else should have it either! A person who is unhappy with her job can
enroll in college classes and advance her education at night, and then go out
and get a better job. YOU having a great job is not keeping HER
from getting a better one! Someone
who wants to take an expensive vacation or buy a new car can get a temporary
second job, save up, and pay for it.
YOU’RE not stopping him from doing that! A childless person who wants children
can pursue fertility treatments or adoption. That has nothing to do with YOU! A
brother who envies your outgoing personality can take public speaking or drama
classes to overcome his shyness.
YOU can’t do it for him! You will find that jealous family members
rarely, if ever, do anything positive to change their situation. They prefer the lazy way out- feeling
sorry for themselves and resenting what others have.
The Scriptures are very clear in calling jealousy and envy a serious sin,
which will keep the jealous person from heaven. THE ACTS OF THE SINFUL NATURE ARE
OBVIOUS: SEXUAL IMMORALITY, IMPURITY AND DEBAUCHERY; IDOLATRY AND WITCHCRAFT;
HATRED, DISCORD, JEALOUSY, FITS OF RAGE, SELFISH AMBITION, DISSENSIONS,
FACTIONS, AND ENVY; DRUNKENNESS, ORGIES, AND THE LIKE. I WARN YOU, AS I DID BEFORE, THAT THOSE
WHO LIVE LIKE THIS WILL NOT INHERIT THE KINGDOM OF GOD….Galatians 5:19-21
NIV. It is interesting that the
Scripture does not make a distinction in degree of seriousness between envy and
jealousy, and idolatry, sexual immorality, witchcraft, hatred, drunkenness,
etc. ALL are grievous sins which
will keep the sinner from heaven and God’s grace. THEREFORE AS SURELY AS I LIVE, DECLARES THE
SOVEREIGN LORD, I WILL TREAT YOU IN ACCORDANCE WITH THE ANGER AND
JEALOUSY YOU SHOWED IN YOUR HATRED OF THEM AND I WILL MAKE MYSELF KNOWN
AMONG THEM WHEN I JUDGE YOU….Ezekiel 35:11 NIV
God is so serious about condemning envy that he included it in the Ten
Commandments. In Exodus 20: 17, we
are expressly FORBIDDEN from envying others and COMMANDED NOT TO do it: THOU SHALT NOT COVET THY NEIGHBOUR’S HOUSE,
THOU SHALT NOT COVET THY NEIGHBOUR’S WIFE, NOR HIS MANSERVANT, NOR HIS
MAIDSERVANT, NOR HIS OX, NOR HIS ASS, NOR ANY THING THAT IS THY NEIGHBOUR’S
(KJV).
Of
course, we must be very careful not to brag or show off in any way, but we
should not have to hide, sneak around, or keep secret whatever we do in the
course of normally living our lives just to avoid envious relatives being
jealous. Our jealous relative needs
to take ownership of his own feelings and not blame us because he is not happy
with his life. We have a right to
expect to be able to share good news as well as bad with our loved ones and have
them react appropriately. It is
perfectly reasonable for us to want our family to act like FAMILY, but with a
jealous sibling or parent, it is unlikely that will ever
happen.
THEREFORE, RID YOURSELVES OF ALL
MALICE AND ALL DECEIT, HYPOCRISY, ENVY, AND SLANDER OF EVERY KIND. LIKE NEWBORNS BABIES, CRAVE PURE
SPIRITUAL MILK, SO THAT BY IT YOU MAY GROW UP IN YOUR SALVATION, NOW THAT YOU
HAVE TASTED THAT THE LORD IS GOOD…..1Peter 2:1-3 NIV
LOVE IS PATIENT, LOVE IS KIND.
IT DOES NOT ENVY, IT DOES NOT BOAST, IT IS NOT PROUD….1 Corinthians 13:4 NIV
SURELY RESENTMENT DESTROYS THE FOOL, AND JEALOUSY KILLS THE SIMPLE….Job
5:2 NLT
A HEART AT PEACE GIVES LIFE TO THE BODY, BUT ENVY ROTS THE BONES ….Proverbs
14:30NIV
ANGER IS CRUEL AND WRATH IS LIKE A FLOOD, BUT WHO CAN SURVIVE THE
DESTRUCTIVENESS OF JEALOUSY?....Proverbs 27:4 NLT
FOR HE KNEW IT WAS OUT OF ENVY THAT THEY HAD HANDED JESUS OVER TO
HIM….Matthew 27:18 NIV
WHEN THE JEWS SAW THE CROWDS, THEY WERE FILLED WITH JEALOUSY AND TALKED
ABUSIVELY AGAINST WHAT PAUL WAS SAYING…..Acts 13: 45
NIV
THEY HAVE BECOME FILLED WITH EVERY KIND OF WICKEDNESS, EVIL, GREED AND
DEPRAVITY. THEY ARE FULL OF ENVY,
MURDER, STRIFE, DECEIT AND MALICE….Romans 1: 29NIV
YOU ARE STILL WORLDLY. FOR
SINCE THERE IS JEALOUSY AND QUARRELING AMONG YOU, ARE YOU NOT WORLDLY?.... 1 Corinthians
3:3
LET US NOT BE DESIROUS OF VAIN GLORY, PROVOKING ONE ANOTHER, ENVYING ONE
ANOTHER…. Galatians
5:26
KJV
IT IS TRUE THAT SOME PREACH CHRIST OUT OF ENVY AND RIVALRY, BUT OTHERS
OUT OF GOODWILL….Philippians 1:15 NIV
BUT IF YOU HARBOR BITTER ENVY OR SELFISH AMBITION IN YOUR HEARTS, DO NOT
BOAST ABOUT IT OR DENY THE TRUTH.
SUCH “WISDOM” DOES NOT COME DOWN FROM HEAVEN BUT IS EARTHLY, UNSPIRITUAL, OF
THE DEVIL. FOR WHERE YOU HAVE ENVY
AND SELFISH AMBITION, THERE YOU FIND DISORDER AND EVERY EVIL PRACTICE….James 3:
14-16 NIV
AND THE SPIRIT LIFTED ME UP BETWEEN EARTH AND HEAVEN AND BROUGHT ME IN
THE VISIONS OF GOD TO JERUSALEM, TO THE ENTRANCE OF THE
NORTH GATE OF THE INNER
COURT, WHERE THE SEAT OF THE
IDOL OF JEALOUSY, WHICH PROVOKES TO JEALOUSY, WAS LOCATED. AND BEHOLD, THE GLORY OF THE GOD OF
ISRAEL WAS THERE, LIKE THE
APPEARANCE WHICH I SAW IN THE PLAIN.
THEN HE SAID TO ME, “SON OF MAN, RAISE YOUR EYES NOW TOWARD THE
NORTH.” SO I RAISED MY EYES TOWARD
THE NORTH, AND BEHOLD, TO THE NORTH OF THE ALTAR GATE WAS THIS IDOL OF JEALOUSY
AT THE ENTRANCE. AND HE SAID TO ME,
“SON OF MAN, DO YOU SEE WHAT THEY ARE DOING, THE GREAT ABOMINATIONS WHICH THE
HOUSE OF ISRAEL ARE COMMITTING HERE, SO
THAT I WOULD BE FAR FROM MY SANCTUARY?”….Ezekiel 8: 3-6
NASB
SEE TO IT THAT NO ONE MISSES THE GRACE OF GOD AND THAT NO BITTER ROOT
GROWS UP TO CAUSE TROUBLE AND DEFILE MANY…Hebrews 12:15
AT ONE TIME WE TOO WERE FOOLISH, DISOBEDIENT, DECEIVED AND ENSLAVED BY
ALL KINDS OF PASSIONS AND PLEASURES.
WE LIVED IN MALICE AND ENVY, BEING HATED AND HATING ONE ANOTHER. BUT WHEN THE KINDNESS AND LOVE OF GOD
OUR SAVIOR APPEARED, HE SAVED US, NOT BECAUSE OF RIGHTEOUS THINGS WE HAD
DONE, BUT BECAUSE OF HIS MERCY…TITUS 3:3-5NIV
*For more about Natural
Consequences, see the article “REAPING WHAT THEY SOW- THE NATURAL CONSEQUENCES
OF BAD BEHAVIOR” in the Section entitled “Rebuking” on our website.
Do not speak to a fool,
for he will scorn the wisdom of your words…..Proverbs 23:9
WWJD?
What Would
Jesus REALLY Do?
By Rev.
Renee
Why is it that when we ask
ourselves, “What Would Jesus Do?”, the Jesus that almost always comes to mind is
the Jesus we have read about in the gospels of the apostles? Later, I will discuss how we then go on
to misinterpret what the gospels
reveal about our Lord’s nature by seeing him only as endlessly forgiving and
patient with everyone, and so meek that he placidly allowed himself to be
dragged away to his own death. But
first, let me pose this question- When we ask ourselves, “What Would Jesus Do?”,
why do we never think of the Jesus of The Book of Revelation- a great and mighty
warrior, righteous and just, awesome and powerful, who will gather his saints to
him to live in paradise, and throw everything evil- men and women, demons and
devils- into the lake of fire for all eternity?
Part of the problem is that many of us don’t read Revelation. It is sometimes difficult to understand,
but much of this can be overcome by reading and comparing the different versions
of the Bible (King James, NIV, NASB, NLT,etc.), using a study guide, and praying
for understanding from the Holy Spirit, who will open our eyes and make all
Scripture accessible to us.
Some people have admitted to me that they don’t read Revelation because,
quite frankly, it scares them. I truly believe this is the
biggest reason many of us feel reluctant to study this book. Let’s face it, reading about the end of
the world and Armageddon certainly sounds terrifying. It seems few of us stick it out long
enough to get through the “frightening stuff” and read Revelation’s magnificent
and glorious ending. All fears and
sorrows will be gone. Our joy will
be unsurpassed in that day- Praise and Glory to our Lord and
God!
On the Lord’s Day, I was in the
Spirit, and I heard behind me a loud voice like a trumpet….And when I turned I
saw seven golden lampstands, and among the lampstands was someone “like a son of
man,” dressed in a robe reaching down to his feet and with a golden sash around
his chest. His head and hair were
white like wool, as white as snow, and his eyes were like blazing fire. His feet were like bronze glowing in a
furnace, and his voice was like the sound of rushing waters. In his right hand he held seven stars,
and out of his mouth came a sharp double-edged sword. His face was like the sun shining in all
its brilliance. When I saw him, I
fell at his feet as though dead.
Then he placed his right hand on me and said, “Do not be afraid. I am the First and the Last. I am the Living One; I was dead, and
behold I am alive forever and ever!
And I hold the keys of death and Hades.”….Revelation 1: 10, 12-18
NIV
Hmmm, so far, Jesus is not
sounding so meek and mild!
“We give thanks to you, Lord God
Almighty, the One who is and who was, because you have taken your great power
and have begun to reign. The
nations were angry; and your wrath has come. The time has come for judging the dead,
and for rewarding your servants the prophets and your saints and those who
reverence your name, both small and great- and for destroying those who destroy
the earth.”…Revelation 11:17-18 NIV
Then I heard another voice from heaven say: “Come out of her, my people,
so that you will not share in her sins, so that you will not receive any of her
plagues; for her sins are piled up to heaven, and God has remembered her
crimes. Give back to her as she has
given; pay her back double for what she has done. Mix her a double portion from her own
cup. Give her as much torture and
grief as the glory and luxury she gave herself. In her heart she boasts, “I sit as
queen; I am not a widow, and I will never mourn.” Therefore in one day her plagues will
overtake her: death, mourning and
famine. She will be consumed by
fire, for mighty is the Lord God who judges her.”….Revelation 18: 4-8
(concerning the Fall of Babylon)
And
so we learn that Jesus is not endlessly forgiving and patient, and he is most
certainly not forgiving and patient where evil and wickedness is concerned. Jesus does not forgive EVERYONE. Those who do not repent, accept Jesus as
their Lord, and change their ways are NOT forgiven.
Then I saw a great white throne
and him who was seated on it. Earth
and sky fled from his presence, and there was no place for them. And I saw the dead, great and small,
standing before the throne, and the books were opened. Another book was opened, which is the
book of life. The dead were judged
according to what they had done as recorded in the books. The sea gave up the dead that were in
it, and death and Hades gave up the dead that were in them, and each person was
judged according to what he had done.
Then death and Hades were thrown into the lake of fire. The lake of fire is the second
death. If anyone’s name was not
found written in the book of life, he was thrown into the lake of
fire.
Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the
first earth had passed away, and there was no longer any sea. I saw the
Holy
City, the new Jerusalem, coming
down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride and beautifully dressed for her
husband. And I heard a loud voice
from the throne saying, “ Now the dwelling of God is with men, and he will live
with them. They will be his people,
and God himself will be with them and be their God. He will wipe every tear from their
eyes. There will be no more death
or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed
away.”
He who was seated on the throne said, “I am making everything new!” Then
he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.” He said to me: ”It is done. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the
Beginning and the End. To him who
is thirsty I will give to drink without cost from the spring of the water of
life. He who overcomes will inherit
all this, and I will be his God and he will be my son. But the cowardly, the unbelieving, the
vile, the murderers, the sexually immoral, those who practice magic arts, the
idolaters and all liars- their place will be in the fiery lake of burning
sulfur. This is the second
death….Revelation 20:11-21:8 NIV
When we think of Jesus,
many of us picture a passive, meek, gentle man. In some of our minds, Jesus was the
first hippie- believing in peace at all costs. We see him as being placid, quiet,
unassuming, low-key, complacent, and serene even in the face of interrogation,
false accusations, torture, suffering, and death.
I don’t feel that the gospels support this view of Jesus’ nature at
all. Selective memory appears to be
the culprit. Jesus is not some
wishy-washy milquetoast who lets everyone do whatever they want and never speaks
up. He is the King of Kings, and he acts like the King of Kings! He is at all times in control and
command of what is going on around him.
And he is Master, Teacher. Rabbi.
How could he possibly teach us right from wrong if all he did was keep
silent when we were doing something wrong?
It seems as if almost all of us remember the compassion, mercy, kindness
and love that Jesus had for the poor, the weak, the suffering, the children, the
humble, and the sorrowful, the widows and orphans. But for some reason we tend to forget
the firm stand he always took against wickedness. I can’t picture Jesus casting out a
demon by asking it politely to please leave- nothing personal and no offense
intended, just please go, if you don’t mind! That is not at all how Jesus dealt
with evil. From rebuking and harsh
words for sinners and evildoers, to driving out demons, Jesus was far from
patient and meek- he was mighty and powerful, and always took a firm and
decisive stand against evil behavior:
Then he entered the temple area and began driving out those who were
selling. “It is written,” he said to them, “ ‘My house will be a house of
prayer’; but you have made it ‘a den of robbers’”…Luke
19:45NIV
Why is my language not clear to you? Because you are unable to hear what
I say. You belong to your father,
the devil, and you want to carry out your father’s desire. He was a murderer from the beginning,
not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native
language, for he is a liar and the father of lies. Yet because I tell the truth, you do not
believe me! Can any of you prove me
guilty of sin? If I am telling the
truth, why don’t you believe me? He
who belongs to God hears what God says.
The reason you do not hear is that you do not belong to God….John
8:43-47NIV
Notice that Jesus has no
problem calling a liar a liar:
Though you do not know him, I know him. If I said I did not, I would be a liar
like you, but I do know him and keep his word…John
8:55NIV
Jesus was, and is, GOD, and during the time he walked among
us, he acted like GOD! Can
you imagine God standing by and silently watching abuse? He was our Savior, and he acted
like a Savior! He was our Teacher,
and he taught us! He spoke the
truth no matter what the opposition might be. He was righteous and just. He did not pussy-foot around wrongdoers,
no matter how powerful they were.
He never protected wrongdoers by silence, or covered up for them, and he
admonished us not to, either. He did not look the other way and ignore
unacceptable behavior in order to “keep the peace”. He instructed us to bring evil deeds
into the light and reveal them.
Jesus was outspoken, firm, and strong. He did not mince words, and he called a
spade a spade!:
Jesus said to her, “You are right when you say you have no husband. The fact is, you have had five husbands,
and the man you now have is not your husband. What you have just said is quite
true…..Yet a time is coming and is now come when the true worshipers will
worship the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the kind of worshipers the
Father seeks. God is spirit, and
his worshipers must worship in spirit and in truth.”…John 4:17,
23-24NIV
I have come to bring fire on the earth, and how I wish it were already
kindled! But I have a baptism to
undergo, and how distressed I am until it is completed! Do you think I came to bring peace on
earth? No, I tell you, but
division. From now on there will be
five in one family divided against each other, three against two and two against
three. They will be divided, father
against son and son against father, mother against daughter and daughter against
mother, mother-in-law against daughter-in-law and daughter-in-law against
mother-in-law….Luke 12:49-53NIV
So do not be afraid of them.
There is nothing concealed that will not be disclosed, or hidden that
will not be made known. What I tell
you in the dark, speak in the daylight; what is whispered in your ear, proclaim
from the roofs…Matthew 10:26-27NIV
Be on your guard against the yeast of the Pharisees, which is
hypocrisy. There is nothing
concealed that will not be disclosed, or hidden that will not be made
known. What you have said in the
dark will be heard in the daylight, and what you have whispered in the ear in
the inner rooms will be proclaimed from the roofs…Luke
12:1-3NIV
Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a
sword. For I have come to turn a
man against his father, a daughter against her mother, a daughter-in-law against
her mother-in-law- a man’s enemies will be the members of his own
household. Anyone who loves his
father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves his son or
daughter more than me is not worthy of me and anyone who does not take his cross
and follow me is not worthy of me…Matthew 10:34-38NIV
When faced with wrongdoing,
bad behavior, and wicked people, some of us ask ourselves What Would Jesus
Do? And then we use what we imagine
would be Jesus’ reaction to justify being “tolerant” or “patient” with
wrongdoers. Sometimes we tolerate
abuse because we think we are the only target and we “can take it”. But that is seldom true- most abusive
people abuse several, if not many, others, not just us. That is their pattern of behavior, and
we owe it to ourselves, as well as other innocent victims, to take a
stand.
Jesus was never tolerant or patient with wrongdoers. We think that Jesus always tried to
“keep the peace” but that is not true at all. Jesus never backed away from a
conflict. He did not hesitate to
rebuke a sinner. He himself instructs us to rebuke wrongdoers. Jesus makes a point of telling us to
forgive IF THERE IS REPENTANCE (Luke 17:3). He never tells us to be endlessly
patient with abusers or to stick around for more abuse; in actuality, he clearly
tells us to avoid and shun those who continue in their bad behavior and who refuse to listen to our
rebuke:
Not everyone who says to me, “Lord, Lord” will enter the kingdom of
heaven, but only he who does the will of the Father who is in heaven. Many will say to me on that day, Lord,
Lord, did we not prophecy in your name, and in your name drive out demons and
perform many miracles?” Than I will tell them plainly, “I never knew you. Away
from me, you evildoers!”…Matthew 7:21-23NIV
If the home is deserving, let your peace rest on it; if it is not, let
your peace return to you. If anyone
will not welcome you or listen to your words, shake the dust off your feet when
you leave that home or town…Matthew 10:14-15NIV
And if any place will not welcome you or listen to you, shake the dust
off your feet when you leave, as a testimony against them…Mark
6:11NIV
If your brother sins against you,
go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your
brother over. But if he will not
listen, take one of two others along, so that every matter may be established by
the testimony of two or three witnesses.
If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses
to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax
collector…Matthew 18: 15-17NIV
Jesus did not hesitate to
rebuke even his own apostles:
“Have I not chosen you, the
Twelve? Yet one of you is a devil!” (He meant Judas, the son of Simon Iscariot,
whom though one of the Twelve, was later to betray him)…John
6:70-71NIV
When Jesus needed to be
strong, his words were harsh. His
firm rebuke and strict words did not mean he didn’t still love those he
chastised. Loving and rebuke are
not mutually exclusive.
Listen to his rebuke of his beloved apostle Simon
Peter:
Jesus turned and said to Peter, “Get behind me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to me; you do
not have in mind the things of God, but the things of men.”...Matthew
16:23NIV
So
we see that by Jesus’ example, we can love someone and still call them on it
when they do wrong.
Do these words sound like they come from an endlessly patient and
tolerant Jesus?:
You snakes! You brood of vipers! How will you escape being condemned to
hell?...Matthew 23:33NIV
You brood of vipers, how can you who are evil say anything good? For out of the overflow of the heart the
mouth speaks. The good man brings
good things out of the good stored up in him, and the evil man brings evil
things out of the evil stored up in him.
But I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgment
for every careless word they have spoken. For by your words you will be
acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned….Matthew 12:34-37NIV
I
don’t know about you, but Jesus’ words sound pretty tough to me. Probably his strongest rebukes were
recorded in the Seven Woes of the Pharisees. Some of them are:
Woe to you, teachers of the law
and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You
shut the kingdom of heaven in men’s faces.
You yourselves do not enter, nor will you let those enter who are trying
to. Woe to you, teachers of the law
and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You
travel over land and sea to win a single convert, and when he becomes one, you
make him twice as much a son of hell as you are….Matthew 23:
13-15NIV
Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You give a tenth of your spices- mint,
dill and cumin. But you have
neglected the more important matters of the law- justice, mercy, and
faithfulness. You should have
practiced the latter without neglecting the former. You blind guides! You strain out the gnat but swallow a
camel. ….You clean the outside of the cup and dish, but inside they are full of
greed and self-indulgence. Blind
Pharisees! First clean the inside of the cup and dish, and then the outside will
also be clean….You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the
outside but on the inside are full of dead men’s bones and everything
unclean. In the same way, on the
outside you appear to people as righteous but on the inside you are full of
hypocrisy and wickedness….Matthew 23: 23-27NIV
We
know that Jesus laid down his life for us, and we have no doubts about his
forgiveness of sinners. But we err
in thinking that his forgiveness extends to ALL sinners. The forgiveness and redemption of Jesus
only applies to sinners WHO HAVE REPENTED from their evil ways and have chosen
to believe in him and follow him.
Unrepentant sinners who continue in their wickedness are NOT forgiven and
are NOT saved.
When we think of Jesus being falsely accused and persecuted by the Jews, interrogated
by Pilate, tortured and humiliated by the Roman soldiers, and finally dragged
off and crucified, it certainly seems as if his patience with these people was
endless. After all, he is God- why
doesn’t he stop them? He does
indeed seem to be a passive, meek person who will put up with just about
anything. He could strike them all
dead in the blink of an eye, but he just takes their abuse. Jesus seemed passive and patient,
because he was intentionally acting passive and patient. He allowed himself to be treated this
way in order to fulfill the Scriptures so that we might be saved by his precious
blood. Those who persecuted and
murdered him were just pawns in the drama that needed to be played out so that
we could believe that Jesus was the Son of God. Their part in abusing him served his
purpose, and so he permitted it:
Do not let your hearts be
troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me. In my Father’s house are many rooms;
if it were not so, I would have told you.
I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you,
I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I
am….John 14:1-3
Before long, the world will not see me anymore, but you will see me. Because I live, you also will live…John
14:19NIV
If you loved me, you would be glad that I am going to the Father, for the
Father is greater than I. I have
told you now before it happens, so that when it does happen you will
believe. I will not speak with you
much longer, for the prince of this world is coming. He has no hold on me, but the world must
learn that I love the Father and that I do exactly what my Father has commanded
me…John 14: 28-31NIV
Jesus did not meekly allow
himself to be tortured and killed.
To think that would be the same as thinking our Savior was weak and
cowardly. On the contrary, what it
did prove was that Jesus was incredibly strong and courageous. Although he knew what was to come and
desired to be spared such horrible suffering if there was any other way, he knew
what he had to do to save us, and he did it. He loved us so much that he laid down
his life for us, knowing how much pain and suffering he would have to
endure. This is not a passive man
who refuses to put up a fight. This
is someone who is tough-as-nails.
His murder IS his fight, the fight he was destined for, the fight for our
salvation, and Jesus did not back down from this fight. Before the fall of man, the wheels
had been set in motion for the ultimate showdown between good and evil, between
Jesus and Satan, which we learn about in the Book of Revelation. Without the crucifixion and resurrection
of Jesus, the rest of the prophecies would not be fulfilled. We would not be spending eternity in the
presence of our glorious Lord, and the final triumph of God over Satan, good
over evil, would not happen.
It was Jesus’ destiny to fight evil on a cosmic level, so far beyond our
understanding that we can hardly begin to fathom it. This is what the Book of Revelation
speaks of. Our fight against evil
is the tiniest of specks in God’s grand plan. But fight against it we must, because
that IS what Jesus would do, and that is what he DID do. You see, we are all given our fight,
just like Jesus was. During his
time on earth, Jesus was given many “minor” fights to fight, and so are we. Then he was given a “major” one, and
most of us will face that as well.
He has not yet fought his final fight, and neither have most of us, but
one day we all will. And then we
will put on the full armor of God
(Ephesians 6:10-18) and go to battle
again.
So, when faced with abuse, cruelty, unlovingness, hurtfulness and
wickedness, let’s ask ourselves WWJRD?- What Would Jesus REALLY Do? And then pray for the wisdom and
courage to stand up against evil in all its forms.
I have fought the good fight, I
have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me the crown
of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that
day- and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing…2
Timothy 4:7-8NIV
But let all those
that put their trust in thee rejoice: let them ever shout for joy, because thou
defendest them: let them also that love thy name be joyful in thee…Psalm
5:11
Be glad in the Lord, and rejoice, ye righteous: and shout
for joy, all ye that are upright in heart…Psalm
32:11
O
let the nations be glad and sing for joy: for thou shalt judge the people
righteously, and govern the nations upon the earth. Selah….Psalm
67:4
They that sow in tears shall reap in joy…Psalm
126:5
Let thy priests be clothed with righteousness; and let
thy saints shout for joy….Psalm 132: 9
I
will also cloth her priests with salvation: and her saints shall shout aloud for
joy….Psalm 132:16
And my soul shall be joyful in the Lord: it shall rejoice
in his salvation…Psalm 35:9
Let the saints be joyful in glory: let them sing aloud
upon their beds. Let the high
praises of God be in their mouth, and a two-edged sword in their hand; to
execute vengeance upon the heathen, and punishments upon the people; to bind
their kings with chains, and their nobles with fetters of iron; to execute upon
them the judgment written; this honour have all his saints. Praise ye the Lord….Psalm 149:
5-9
O
come let us sing unto the Lord: let us make a joyful noise unto the rock of our
salvation…..Psalm 95:1
Sing unto the Lord, O ye saints of his, and give thanks
at the remembrance of his holiness.
For his anger endureth but a moment: in his favour is life: weeping may endure for a night, but joy
cometh in the morning. And in my
prosperity I said, I shall never be moved….Psalm 30: 4-6
Make a joyful noise unto the Lord, all the earth: make a
loud noise, and rejoice, and sing praise….Psalm
98:4
Make a joyful noise unto the Lord, all ye lands. Serve the Lord with gladness: come
before his presence with singing…Psalm 100: 1-2
Blessed is the people that know the joyful sound: they
shall walk, O Lord, in the light of thy countenance…Psalm 89:
15
O
clap your hands, all ye people; shout unto God with the voice of triumph….Psalm
47:1
My lips will greatly rejoice when I sing unto thee: and
my soul, which thou hast redeemed… Psalm 71: 23
A Blessed
Holiday Season to All
!!!
