Repenting & Apologies
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REPENTING AND APOLOGIES
REPENT: TO TURN FROM SIN AND DEDICATE ONESELF TO THE
AMENDMENT OF ONE'S LIFE; TO FEEL REGRET OR
CONTRITION; TO CHANGE ONE'S MIND
Source: Webster's 9th Collegiate Dictionary
"AND JESUS SAID UNTO HER, NEITHER DO I CONDEMN THEE: GO, AND SIN NO MORE"...John 8:11 KJV.
When Jesus forgave the adulteress in John Chapter 8, he said, "Go, and sin no more." He did not say, "OK, I forgive you this time, now go right back to what you were doing wrong, and every time you do more evil, just come on back and I'll forgive you again." In order to merit forgiveness, CHANGE (repentance) is required. A sincere apology and the changing of one's hurtful ways, along with a little time, is often all it takes to restore trust in a damaged or lost relationship. Normal folks have no problem smoothing things over, making amends for an offense, or being remorseful for hurting someone who loves them, especially if it means staying on good terms and keeping the relationship intact. It seems so simple. And it’s the only way possible to restore the damaged bond. So why the abuser’s extreme reluctance to do it?
Abusers and control freaks love having the upper hand. Humbling themselves to sincerely apologize is rarely something they’re willing to do, much less committing to a change in behavior. That would require effort on their parts, and the sad truth is, to them, we’re just not worth that effort.
You see, they know something that we don’t know. They know that our bond with them is not based on love. It’s based on domination, co-dependency, fear, resistance to change, and addiction. They know from past experience that they DON’T HAVE TO treat us well. They can treat us like garbage, and we’ll still stick around for more. They have no motivation at all to apologize or change their ways, because they don’t take us seriously, and they don’t care one bit about our feelings.
But with God’s grace, we can find the courage to change our lives for the better, with or without our abusers. An important step in deciding whether to stay in a relationship, or end it, is learning to recognize sincere apologies and true remorse, and understanding that these are essential to replacing our one-way, toxic relationship with a healthy bond.
FOOLS MOCK AT MAKING AMENDS FOR SIN, BUT GOODWILL IS FOUND AMONG THE UPRIGHT....Proverbs 14:9 NIV
LET THE WICKED FORSAKE HIS WAY, AND THE UNRIGHTEOUS MAN HIS THOUGHTS; AND LET HIM RETURN UNTO THE LORD, AND HE WILL HAVE MERCY UPON HIM....Isaiah 55:7 KJV
BUT BECAUSE OF YOUR STUBBORNNESS AND YOUR UNREPENTANT HEART, YOU ARE STORING UP WRATH AGAINST YOURSELF FOR THE DAY OF GOD'S WRATH, WHEN HIS RIGHTEOUS JUDGMENT WILL BE REVEALED. GOD WILL GIVE TO EACH PERSON ACCORDING TO WHAT HE HAS DONE.....Romans 2: 5-6 NIV
For more on this topic, please see the Sections on FORGIVENESS,REBUKING, THE ABUSER'S REACTIONS TO REBUKE, THE SILENT PARTNER & THE SILENT MAJORITY, REPROBATES & CUTTING TIES, and SETTING & ENFORCING LIMITS & BOUNDARIES .
Copyright 2002-2016.-All articles on this site are copyrighted. Permission to copy is granted for non-profit use only.Please help yourself to anything we write if you can use it to help others. A link back to this site is our only requirement. Please contact us for any commercial or other use. All e-mails, letters, and other correspondence become the property of Luke 17:3 Ministries, Inc. Due to the large volume of e-mails, we're sorry that we are unable to personally answer every one, but we do lift everyone who writes to us in prayer to the Lord.
The Lord specifically called Sister Renee to minister to Adult Children, not their parents, estranged siblings or friends, abusive or abused spouses, or victims of other types of abuse, although what we write here can often be meaningful for those folks as well. Because of this, our ministry and website have a narrow focus which we will not be changing. We simply can't cover everything. In addition, it is not our purpose to help you re-establish contact with someone who felt it was necessary to cut you off for the sake of their own well-being. We do not keep a list of resources for estranged parents or any other type of abuse and suggest if you are sincerely interested in making amends with an estranged relative, you do an internet search for a website or group that will be more relevant to you. If you cannot find a group or site that you can relate to, we suggest you start your own, and bless other people in your position as well as find support for your personal issues.
For Adult Children and others as well, please understand that we cannot give you personal advice concerning your particular family relationships. We are not therapists or lawyers, we usually do not have enough information to form an opinion, and time does not permit us to give enough thought to each person's individual situation to do it justice. If you need personal advice, we urge you to contact the appropriate professional, depending on the problem you have- your minister, therapist, attorney, police department, local domestic violence hotline, etc. In reading this site, you acknowledge that nothing you might read here qualifies as or substitutes for professional advice. Please note we cannot recommend or refer you to a counselor and we do not have a list of therapists or recovery groups in your area. The only Counselor we recommend is the Holy Ghost, and we encourage you to read the Bible and learn for yourself what the Lord says about the issues we write about.
Our articles are strictly our personal opinions and testimonies and are not intended to give or offer any advice. All who access this site do so with the understanding that we are NOT professional counselors and we strongly recommend that you discuss your individual situation with your pastor or therapist and pray for the Lord's guidance before acting on anything we write on this site. Unfortunately, the abuse we discuss is all too common, inflicted on countless victims by countless perpetrators. All names and identifying details in our articles have been changed to protect the innocent as well as the guilty. Any resemblance to a real person or persons whom you might know is strictly coincidental.