Luke 17:3 Ministries Inc
Wednesday, November 22, 2017
For Adult Daughters of Controlling or Abusive Birth-Families
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FEBRUARY 2009 Newsletter

LUKE 17:3 Ministries
for adult daughters
of controlling or abusive birth-families

A sisterhood for those who seek support in developing self-esteem, setting boundaries and limits, forgiveness, Godly confrontation, recognizing and cutting ties with reprobates, healing, and rejoicing in the peace and love of

 the Lord, our Father

take heed to yourselves. If thy brother trespass against thee, rebuke him; and if he repent, forgive him……..Luke 17:3

 

VOLUME 7, ISSUE 1                                                                                                                           FEBRUARY 2009


Luke 17: 3 is the scripture often misquoted, usually by an abuser or his enabler, when he tells you that the Bible says “Forgive and Forget”, or that you must forgive him because you are a Christian. However, Jesus is very specific when he tells us to rebuke the sinner, and if he repents, to forgive him. Have you rebuked your abuser, and has he or she repented?

THE ONLY FORM OF ABUSE STILL CONDONED BY SOCIETY. THE ONLY ABUSE IN WHICH THE VICTIM IS CRITICIZED OR ABANDONED FOR TRYING TO PROTECT HERSELF. CHILD ABUSE THAT DIDN’T END WHEN ADULTHOOD BEGAN…THE CONTINUING ABUSE OF GROWN CHILDREN BY THEIR PARENTS.

If you have ever experienced Adult Child Abuse by a parent, sibling, or other relative, We Welcome You!

Our newsletter is sent to you free-of-charge, as the Lord continually provides. Do you know someone who would like to be on our mailing list? 

If so, please contact:

Rev. Renee Pittelli

Luke 17:3 Ministries, Inc.

P.O. Box 684

Chestertown, NY 12817

or E-mail us at:

Luke 173@hotmail.com

VISIT OUR WEBSITE AT:
www.luke173ministries.org

Please ask about our Luke 17:3 Ministry in Tennessee, founded by Rev. Denise Rossignol.

Praise to our God!

STILL THE BOSS AFTER ALL THESE YEARS

By Rev. Renee Pittelli

 

       DON’T YOU REALIZE THAT WHATEVER YOU CHOOSE TO OBEY BECOMES YOUR MASTER?.....Romans 6:16 (NLT)

 

          THEN SAITH JESUS UNTO HIM, GET THEE HENCE, SATAN: FOR IT IS WRITTEN, THOU SHALT WORSHIP THE LORD THY GOD, AND HIM ONLY SHALT THOU SERVE….Matthew 4:10 (KJV)

 

            When I think of one adult being the “boss” of another adult (who is not actually his employee), I can’t help but chuckle to myself. I keep getting amusing images in my head of two grown-ups arguing like a pair of kids- one bratty bully and one kid who doesn’t want to be pushed around: “You have to go in the house NOW!” “Why?” (Folds arms in front of chest)- “Because I said so!” “No” (Places hands on hips)-“You better do it now! You have to do what I say!” “No, I don’t” (Raising voice)-“Yes, you do!” “Why do I have to listen to you?” (Yelling)-“Because I’m the BOSS, that’s why!” “No, you’re not!” 

(cont’d on page 2………)
God’s Word
 

…..I will not be burdensome to you: for I seek not yours, but you: for the children ought not to lay up for the parents, but the parents for the children…2 Corinthians 12: 14 KJV

 

In the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, we command you, brothers, to keep away from every brother who is idle and does not live according to the teaching you received from us. For you yourselves know how you ought to follow our example. We were not idle when we were with you, nor did we eat anyone’s food without paying for it. On the contrary, we worked night and day, laboring and toiling so that we would not be a burden to any of you. We did this, not because we do not have the right to such help, but in order to make ourselves a model for you to follow. For even when we were with you, we gave you this rule: “If a man will not work, he shall not eat.” We hear that some among you are idle. They are not busy; they are busybodies. Such people we command and urge in the Lord Jesus Christ to settle down and earn the bread they eat. And as for you, brothers, never tire of doing what is right. If anyone does not obey our instruction in this letter, take special note of him. Do not associate with him, in order that he may feel ashamed. Yet do not regard him as an enemy, but warn him as a brother……

2 Thessalonians 3: 6-15 NIV
 

Continued from Page 1……..

(Stamping foot and having a conniption)-“YES, I AM!” “You are not the boss of me!” 

            You can almost imagine the father yelling, “Knock it off, you two!” out a window, or the mother appearing with a wooden spoon and threatening a paddling if the brat doesn’t quit screaming so loud the neighbors on the next block can hear him.

            Pretty funny when you imagine two adults in these roles, where at least one of them is behaving with all the immaturity and selfishness of a spoiled six-year old, and the other one just wants to be left alone. But some version of this scenario happens between adults in real life every day, and in reality it’s not the least bit funny, at least not to the victims. It’s amazing that there are actually people who expect, and feel they are entitled to, obedience from other adults, yet many of us put up with rudeness and unreasonable demands from our relatives on an ongoing basis that we wouldn’t dream of tolerating from our REAL bosses, or from anyone else.          Where do these adult brats get off ordering a family member around? Since when do they have any right to tell anybody else what to do? And not even to ask, or to voice their requests politely, but to demand submission instead? And then to become abusive and pitch a fit if their demands are not met? Who wants to listen to a juvenile 60-year old having a temper tantrum worse than any 2-year old? You’d think they’d be mortified to act that way, but they’re not.

            Some relatives are “chronological adults”, but not adults emotionally. They’ve gotten away with using the same bossy behavior since THEY were kids, and people, starting with THEIR parents, usually gave them whatever they wanted just to shut them up, instead of giving them a good smack (and no, I’m not endorsing child abuse!)   They keep bossing their family members around because IT WORKS. They’ve just never grown up.

             Others have a problem getting with the program and accepting that “the times they are a-changin’” and that YOU have grown up. They haven’t figured out that you’re not 7 years old anymore, and the stuff that worked on you then no longer does. These are the parents or siblings (usually older) who hovered over you when you were a kid, telling you to do this and do that. Sometimes they ordered you to do something for them, other times they told you what to do for your own good. 

            Now they might think you still need their help to function, just like you did at age 7, and it’s their job to tell you how to run your life. Assuming you are a self-supporting adult, which admittedly not all of us are, who no longer relies on them financially, family members have no right to tell you what to do. If you are still taking money from them, living under their roof, relying on them for childcare while you work, or running to them every time you have a crisis, things are a little more complicated.   It’s not easy to tell your mother to butt out of your life when her contributions are what’s making it possible for you to have a life. You will need to achieve real self-sufficiency and independence first, before you’ll be able to convince your family that you truly are competent and capable of making your own decisions without their help. (see the article “After All I’ve Done For You” in the Abuser’s Reactions To Rebuke section on our website.)

            Some relatives just like to be waited on hand and foot, or to constantly impose on others for favors. They may still think it’s okay to TELL you to do something for them rather than ASKING you nicely. They are stuck in the same pattern of relating to you as they’ve used all your life, again because IT WORKS. Or at least it’s always worked up till now. But we’re going to change that, aren’t we?

            Here goes: When you become an adult you are EQUAL to all other adults, parents and siblings included. Your relationship ideally becomes one of EQUALITY and MUTUAL caring and respect. Adults do not take orders from other adults. Not unless they’re in the military. THERE ARE NO BOSSES IN YOUR FAMILY. Adults do not OBEY their relatives. We only OBEY GOD. Adults may choose to grant a favor to a family member or do something nice for them out of love and respect, but not because it is DEMANDED or ORDERED. 

            Ordering another adult around is inappropriate and unacceptable, and needs to NOT BE REWARDED with compliance. The way to get another adult to do what you want is to ASK NICELY. First you say PLEASE, then you ASK, then you say THANK-YOU. And if the other person can’t or won’t comply, you accept it maturely without pitching a fit and getting abusive. After all, we all know we can’t always get what we want.

            Did your parents teach you any manners when you were a kid? Did they also teach you that you can’t always win, or get what you want? Maybe not, I don’t know. Maybe they forgot the good manners they taught you, or maybe they didn’t teach you because they never had any manners themselves. Strange as it may feel, when dealing with a Family Boss, you’re going to have to reverse your roles. You’ll have to be the parent-figure, whose job it is to civilize the spoiled-child-figure by teaching her courtesy and good manners, as well as patience, gratitude, appreciation, taking “No” for an answer, and gracefully accepting disappointment, which is inevitable in life. You will be doing her a great favor, because everyone needs to learn these things if they are going to be mature, functioning adults that other people don’t avoid like the plague or snicker at behind their backs.

            A demanding relative is used to bossing you around because she’s done it all your life. That’s how she’s always related to you. But that was then and this is now. She needs your help to break a life-long pattern that has been socially detrimental to her, whether she knows it or not. You are doing her a favor and making her life easier in the long run by teaching her that “You can get more flies with honey”, and that being obnoxious doesn’t make other people feel like being nice to her. So as you help her learn the “new rules”, let her know that it’s for her own good, which she should appreciate since she’s no doubt told you the same thing many times in the past, after doing something YOU didn’t like.

             Helping a discourteous and demanding relative change means firm boundaries, limit-setting, and consequences (see the section Setting & Enforcing Limits & Boundaries on our website), because adults who act like children need to be treated like children, at least until they mature enough and develop enough judgment and self-control that you can begin treating them like adults.

             Some people do have enough social savvy to take a hint, in which case you might be able to get your message across with some good-natured humor and without a direct confrontation. The next time your older brother tells you to do something, try smiling at him and saying “I didn’t hear the magic word”, as if you were patiently addressing a child. Assuming he gets it and says “Please”, and you comply, if then you don’t hear “Thank-you”, smile again and say “Now what do you say?” This method has a good chance of success with someone who is basically well-intentioned but might need a little brush-up on proper etiquette. However, you will probably need to use a much more direct approach on a relative with a hostile, belligerent, overbearing, or controlling attitude.

            If the light-hearted approach fails, time for some tough-love. Have a little pow-wow with your bossy relative and lay out exactly what it’s going to take for him to get your cooperation in the future. Explain that from now on, you’re going to need to be “in the mood” to grant any favors, and that the best way to facilitate this is by being pleasant and polite and saying “please” and “thank-you”. Tell him that you will not be responding to any rudeness, demands or orders, only nice requests, and that he needs to ASK instead of TELLING. Enlighten him to the fact that you do not have to do what he says, and in the future, you will take his “suggestions” or “requests” under consideration, taking action on them only if it’s convenient and you want to. Clarify that, should you choose NOT to grant his request, you still expect your decision to be accepted with grace and maturity. State that you expect to be addressed at all times with courtesy, consideration, and good manners.

            Once you have stated your conditions for listening to your ex-Boss’s request, consistency will be the key to re-programming him. You need to refuse to directly address any of his wishes that are not presented as polite requests. When he hands you a shopping list and informs you that you are to run errands for him, do not dignify his demand with an answer. Simply hand the list back or place it on the table and state, “I don’t respond to orders. You’ll need to re-word your request if you want me to consider it. Then I’ll think about it and let you know.”

            Only after he has properly and nicely ASKED should you respond to the actual request itself- with a “Yes”, “No”, “Maybe”, “I’ll think about it”, “I’ll see if I can”, “Sorry, no can do”, etc. Until then, you need to completely IGNORE his demand and not give any indication that you even heard it or paid any attention to it. I like to call this the “Selective Deafness Technique.” When he has politely ASKED, then you can reward him by politely answering- indicating that you heard him and informing him of your reply.

            Of course, this method is guaranteed to drive an ex-Boss crazy, so be prepared to leave the room or hang up the phone when his head explodes. But don’t give up. Just like that spoiled brat kid we imagined, your obnoxious, bossy relative will eventually learn from calm but firm limits and consequences.

            Like our imaginary brat, he also has to learn that you can’t always get what you want. Life just doesn’t work that way, as all of us who always wanted a nice, normal, loving family can testify, and learning to accept this is a part of growing up.   The time will come when, even though he phrased his request politely, you still might not agree to do it. C’est la vie. 

            When you do decline a request, your ex-Boss will probably react poorly, revert to type, and become angry and rude again. But don’t give in and allow yourself to be bullied. Now is the time to reinforce the concept that Temper Tantrums Do Not Work. Don’t tolerate any nastiness or anyone raising his voice to you. At the first sign of a tantrum, say. “I understand you’re not happy, but I will not be spoken to in that manner. I’m leaving now (or hanging up the phone). You can call me after you’ve calmed down and are ready to address me respectfully.” Then DO IT. With this method, you can’t lose- even if he never changes, you’ll still spend a lot less time being subjected to his tirades.

            Your ex-Boss will no doubt be angry, indignant, or resentful about being forced to comply with your new rules. You need to expect this and to be okay with it. My birth-father was famous for “the puss”- a scowl with his lower-lip stuck out that told us he was pouting just like a two-year old. We had learned ages ago that it was a huge mistake to ask him what was wrong and give him the opportunity for a screaming rant. So we became professionals at completely ignoring “the puss”, even whispering humorously among ourselves that if he didn’t stop it, his face was going to freeze like that! He could walk around with the puss on for two weeks and it didn’t matter in the least. Nobody would “notice”, everybody would just go about their business and enjoy themselves, and life would just go on. And spookily enough, by the time he was in his 70’s, his face DID freeze like that, and that is the only expression he became capable of.

            So when your ex-Boss lets you know that she resents your new rules, just shrug and say, “Oh well, I can live with that”, but don’t back down. Even a grudging change in her demanding behavior is still an improvement. She doesn’t have to like it, as long as she quits ordering you around and starts treating you respectfully.  Like every other habit, with enough practice and God’s grace, eventually the new rules will also become a habit, and offensive behavior will be replaced with politeness and perhaps a touch of humility. Your relative will find that other people are now more inclined to accommodate her requests, and her interactions will be more pleasant for everyone concerned.

***For more details on setting boundaries and learning to say no, see the articles in the Setting & Enforcing Limits & Boundaries section on our website).     

        BUT PETER AND THE APOSTLES REPLIED, “WE MUST OBEY GOD RATHER THAN HUMAN AUTHORITY”.....Acts 5:29 (NLT)

            NO SERVANT CAN SERVE TWO MASTERS: FOR EITHER HE WILL HATE THE ONE, AND LOVE THE OTHER; OR ELSE HE WILL HOLD TO THE ONE , AND DESPISE THE OTHER. YE CANNOT SERVE GOD AND MAMMON….Luke 16:13(KJV)

        AM I NOW TRYING TO WIN THE APPROVAL OF MEN, OR OF GOD? OR AM I TRYING TO PLEASE MEN? IF I WERE STILL TRYING TO PLEASE MEN, I WOULD NOT BE A SERVANT OF CHRIST….Galatians 1:10 (NIV)

        WE ARE NOT TRYING TO PLEASE MEN BUT GOD, WHO TESTS OUR HEARTS….1 Thessalonians 2:4(NIV)

        FOR HE WHO WAS A SLAVE WHEN HE WAS CALLED BY THE LORD IS THE LORD’S FREEDMAN; SIMILARLY, HE WHO WAS A FREE MAN WHEN CALLED IS CHRIST’S SLAVE….1 Corinthians 7:22 (NIV)

        …YOU HAVE ONLY ONE MASTER AND YOU ARE ALL BROTHERS. AND DO NOT CALL ANYONE ON EARTH “FATHER,” FOR YOU HAVE ONE FATHER, AND HE IS IN HEAVEN….Matthew 23: 8-9 (NIV)

        YOU GLADLY PUT UP WITH FOOLS SINCE YOU ARE SO WISE. IN FACT, YOU EVEN PUT UP WITH ANYONE WHO ENSLAVES YOU OR EXPLOITS YOU OR TAKES ADVANTAGE OF YOU OR PUSHES HIMSELF FORWARD OR SLAPS YOU IN THE FACE. TO MY SHAME I ADMIT THAT WE WERE TOO WEAK FOR THAT!....2 Corinthians 11:19-21 (NIV)

        FORMERLY, WHEN YOU DID NOT KNOW GOD, YOU WERE SLAVES TO THOSE WHO BY NATURE ARE NOT GODS. BUT NOW THAT YOU KNOW GOD- OR RATHER ARE KNOWN BY GOD- HOW IS IT THAT YOU ARE TURNING BACK TO THOSE WEAK AND MISERABLE PRINCIPLES? DO YOU WISH TO BE ENSLAVED BY THEM ALL OVER AGAIN?.....Galatians 4:8-9 (NIV)

The wisdom of proverbs

As a door turns back and forth on its hinges, so the lazy person turns over in bed….Proverbs 26:14 NLT

 
Claiming the Victory
 

NO FORGIVENESS FOR THE UNREPENTANT

By Rev. Renee Pittelli

 

            Have you ever had it happen that when you rebuked an abuser, not only did she refuse to apologize, repent, or change her hurtful behavior, but she then proceeded to smugly inform you that “God forgives her” because “God forgives everything”, and that the Bible says that you have to forgive her, too? I have, more than once.

            And all I can say to that is, “Nice try.” Because it’s just not true. Biblical forgiveness doesn’t work that way.   Not even close. God forgives everybody who REPENTS, not everybody who doesn’t repent, and continues sinning. Repentance means turning from one’s sinful ways and changing one’s LIFE. It does not mean continuing on as before, and it also does not mean stopping just one or two obnoxious behaviors while continuing all the rest, or even finding some new ones. It might surprise such self-righteous offenders to learn that God does NOT forgive “everybody”, and that he does NOT tell us to, either. In fact, there is NOT ONE INSTANCE in Scripture of the Lord forgiving anyone who remains “stiff-necked” (stubborn) and unrepentant.

            Before one starts quoting the Bible, it might be a good idea to actually READ IT first. When ungodly people state that God’s Word says something that justifies or facilitates their wickedness, I just love to hand them a Bible and ask them to show me exactly where it says that. Usually, they get all flustered, angry, or embarrassed, and quickly change the subject or storm off in a huff. If, by some remote chance, they can actually find the Scripture they’re referring to (and conveniently misinterpreting), then we can read it in context and explore it together- but that hasn’t happened to me yet!

            Those who know the Lord and study his Word know that he has such a heart of love for the downtrodden and the broken-hearted, and that he desires us to be free of every kind of bondage. God’s Word is infallible, and God does not play mean little tricks on abuse victims. He NEVER says anything that would make it easier for a sinner to keep on sinning or an abuser to keep on abusing. To even suggest otherwise is to reveal a profound ignorance of God’s divine nature.

            Biblically speaking, NO ONE gets forgiven without changing his ways and turning to God and godliness. The New Testament includes an additional requirement for meriting forgiveness- accepting Jesus as one’s Lord and Savior (and no one who has genuinely done that can continue abusing others). Abusers would just love an excuse to obligate us to forgive them without the slightest effort to make amends, commitment to change, or anything expected of them at all.   It’s the Abuser’s Dream Gig- to be able to commit one evil deed after another with impunity, and then pervert the Word of God by claiming that others have to repeatedly and unconditionally forgive her. This is utter nonsense. 

            BE NOT DECEIVED; GOD IS NOT MOCKED: FOR WHATSOEVER A MAN SOWETH, THAT SHALL HE ALSO REAP….Galatians 6:7. The Bible is not an excuse for abusive people to have a field day without ever suffering any consequences. Distorting the Word of God to get away with evil is an indication of the demonic nature of such people, not of their innocence and good intentions. Ask any deliverance minister and you will learn that twisting God’s Word to facilitate evil is one of the most common tactics used by demons.

            Abusers by definition wouldn’t have the slightest idea what the Bible REALLY says about forgiveness, or anything else. It’s not like they spend a lot of time studying God’s Word and applying it to their lives. They’re just repeating something they heard somewhere along the line, and twisting it to suit their own purposes. They’re using what they imagine Scripture says to pressure us and guilt us into forgiving them when they have done nothing whatsoever to deserve our forgiveness.

            Some abusers like to call themselves Christians, because it enables them to get away with abusive behavior more frequently without being challenged or confronted. These people might actually be familiar with Scripture, and then use it, twist it, and take it out of context to justify their behavior and attempt to deceive us into forgiving them when no forgiveness is warranted. But talk is cheap. We need to study the Bible concerning this, and pray for the discernment and wisdom to distinguish between REAL Christians and PRETEND Christians- those who are conveniently “Christian” only when it suits them. One big clue is that REAL Christians ACT LIKE real Christians. This means they do NOT mistreat other people.

            The Bible does in fact tell us that we should forgive as the Lord forgave us (Colossians 3:13; Ephesians 4:32).   But there are requirements for forgiveness. If we read in more depth and in context about God forgiving us, including the hows, whys and under what circumstances, we will see that he only forgives us when we come to him in the spirit of remorse, change our lives through his Son, ask for forgiveness, and repent (CHANGE). So if we are to forgive others as God forgives us, then we are to forgive them AFTER they have shown genuine remorse by the grace of Jesus’ cleansing blood, and AFTER they have repented (CHANGED), NOT BEFORE. That is the formula for forgiveness which God models for us, and that is the formula which he instructs us to follow.       

            Other Scriptural examples of the Lord forgiving us IF AND WHEN WE REPENT are written in Ezekiel 33:10-20, Isaiah 55:6-7, Jeremiah 6:16-30 & 26:3, Luke 13:3 & 5, Acts 3:19. These are just a few of the examples we can study that will educate us about God’s prerequisites and requirements for forgiveness.

            We are not to cheapen the gift of forgiveness by giving it prematurely or undeservedly, to those who demand it and act as if they are entitled to it, and yet have done nothing to merit it. The Lord’s higher purpose is to change men’s hearts and make them turn from evil, give up their wicked ways, and choose to follow HIM instead of Satan. He does that by requiring repentance before forgiveness, not by giving evildoers a free ride. 

            In Luke 17:3, Jesus tells us very clearly that we are to forgive someone who sins against us IF he repents.   He does NOT tell us to forgive everyone, including those who have absolutely no remorse and fully intend to continue abusing others and behaving badly. That would be preposterous and contradictory. God does not do nonsensical things that do not serve his ultimate purpose of bringing all men into his grace and his presence. 

            God does not want us to continue to be abused. And he does not want us to allow abusers to continue their abuse with no consequences. In fact, we are told numerous times to shun evildoers ( some of these Scriptures are: Proverbs 22:10, Proverbs 22: 24, Proverbs 23:9, Proverbs 24: 25, Proverbs 25: 4-5, Proverbs 24:24, Proverbs 26:24-26, Psalm 37:9, Psalm 119:115, Proverbs 19:19, Matthew 18: 15-17, Titus 3:10-11, and 1 Corinthians 5:11). Look up “rebuke” in a large Concordance, and you will also find dozens of references (see the section on Rebuking on our site).

            The Bible teaches that all evil behavior has consequences. The only way to come into a state of grace is to give up sinfulness and walk in the ways of the Lord, in love for others. Abusers by nature could not care less about coming closer to God, and usually need some extra incentive to straighten up and fly right. That incentive is often some kind of social censure, which may, for a particular individual, include our refusal to forgive him until and if he has earned it. 

            There are times that God will use us in this way to bring a person into repentance and to him. By forgiving unremorseful evildoers, we are not helping them and we are not serving God’s purposes. We are depriving them of the opportunity to repent and transform their lives, to truly accept Jesus as their Savior so their sins can be washed away, and to walk forever with our Father.   By interfering with God’s Law of Sowing and Reaping, we are preventing God’s purpose from being fulfilled in that individual’s life. 

            The Lord requires that we do our part in bringing others to repentance. SON OF MAN, I HAVE MADE YOU A WATCHMAN FOR THE HOUSE OF ISRAEL; SO HEAR THE WORD I SPEAK AND GIVE THEM WARNING FROM ME. WHEN I SAY TO THE WICKED, “O WICKED MAN, YOU WILL SURELY DIE,” AND YOU DO NOT SPEAK OUT TO DISSUADE HIM FROM HIS WAYS, THAT WICKED MAN WILL DIE FOR HIS SIN, AND I WILL HOLD YOU ACCOUNTABLE FOR HIS BLOOD. BUT IF YOU DO WARN THE WICKED MAN TO TURN FROM HIS WAYS AND HE DOES NOT DO SO, HE WILL DIE FOR HIS SIN, BUT YOU WILL HAVE SAVED YOURSELF.”…Ezekiel 33:7-9.

            So despite attempts by ungodly people to mislead, deceive or pressure us, we need to stand firm in the knowledge that the Lord does not forgive those who are 'stiff-necked' , refuse to repent, and intend to continue in their sinful ways, and he does not expect us to, either.  There is no such thing as unconditional forgiveness. There are CONDITIONS on receiving forgiveness, there is a REASON for those conditions, and the conditions are repentance and turning from one’s evil ways.  Forgiveness is not to be given just because someone simply demands it, or insists he is entitled to it. It is only to be offered to those who are truly worthy of it.

***For more on this subject, see the articles in the sections of our website entitled Rebuking and Repenting & Apologies. 

***If you are interesting in reading more about the Biblical model for forgiveness and offering unconditional forgiveness or forgiveness without repentance, we recommend the RBC website at:  http://www.rbc.org/questions/. Select  "Relationships" and then "Forgiveness".

 

Great is the Lord, and greatly to be praised in the city of our God, in the mountain of his holiness. Beautiful for situation, the joy of the whole earth, is mount Zion, on the sides of the north, the city of the great King. God is known in her palaces for a refuge…….. As we have heard, so have we seen in the city of the Lord of hosts, in the city of our God: God will establish it forever. Selah. We have thought of thy lovingkindness, O God, in the midst of thy temple. According to thy name, O God, so is thy praise unto the ends of the earth: thy right hand is full of righteousness. Let mount Zion rejoice, let the daughters of Judah be glad, because of thy judgments. Walk about Zion, and go round about her: tell the towers thereof. Mark ye well her bulwarks, consider her palaces; that ye may tell it to the generation following. For this God is our God for ever and ever: He will be our guide even unto death….Psalm 48: 1-3, 8-14 KJV.

 
 
 
Copyright 2002-2017.-All articles on this site are copyrighted. Permission to copy is granted for non-profit use only.Please help yourself to anything we write if you can use it to help others. A link back to this site is our only requirement. Please contact us for any commercial or other use. All e-mails, letters, and other correspondence become the property of Luke 17:3 Ministries, Inc. Due to the large volume of e-mails, we're sorry that we are unable to personally answer every one, but we do lift everyone who writes to us in prayer to the Lord.
The Lord specifically called Sister Renee to minister to Adult Children, not their parents, estranged siblings or friends, abusive or abused spouses, or victims of other types of abuse, although what we write here can often be meaningful for those folks as well. Because of this, our ministry and website have a narrow focus which we will not be changing. We simply can't cover everything. In addition, it is not our purpose to help you re-establish contact with someone who felt it was necessary to cut you off for the sake of their own well-being. We do not keep a list of resources for estranged parents or any other type of abuse and suggest if you are sincerely interested in making amends with an estranged relative, you do an internet search for a website or group that will be more relevant to you. If you cannot find a group or site that you can relate to, we suggest you start your own, and bless other people in your position as well as find support for your personal issues. 
For Adult Children and others as well, please understand that we cannot give you personal advice concerning your particular family relationships.  We are not therapists or lawyers, we usually do not have enough information to form an opinion, and time does not permit us to give enough thought to each person's individual situation to do it justice. If you need personal advice, we urge you to contact the appropriate professional, depending on the problem you have- your minister, therapist, attorney, police department, local domestic violence hotline, etc. In reading this site, you acknowledge that nothing you might read here qualifies as or substitutes for professional advice. Please note we cannot recommend or refer you to a counselor and we do not have a list of therapists or recovery groups in your area. The only Counselor we recommend is the Holy Ghost, and we encourage you to read the Bible and learn for yourself what the Lord says about the issues we write about.
Our articles are strictly our personal opinions and testimonies and are not intended to give or offer any advice. All who access this site do so with the understanding that we are NOT professional counselors and we strongly recommend that you discuss your individual situation with your pastor or therapist and pray for the Lord's guidance before acting on anything we write on this site. Unfortunately, the abuse we discuss is all too common, inflicted on countless victims by countless perpetrators. All names and identifying details in our articles have been changed to protect the innocent as well as the guilty. Any resemblance to a real person or persons whom you might know is strictly coincidental.