Luke 17:3 Ministries Inc
Sunday, October 17, 2021
For Adult Daughters of Controlling or Abusive Birth-Families

The Biblical Duties of a Proper Parent




by Rev. Renee

            The Bible instructs parents to behave in certain ways toward their children, to raise them in a Godly way, and to treat them well and with love.  In my own birth-family, I have found that some of the relatives who claim to be the most religious do not in any way obey the word of God when it comes to raising their children.  When I was younger and not familiar with Scripture, this caused me confusion.  But I now understand that although these relatives may make a point of weekly churchgoing and a big show of other pseudo-religious behaviors, they are not really religious at all, and don’t follow God’s word in most aspects of their lives.  Rather, they operate under the Spirit of False Religion, abusing their loved ones, and using a phony appearance of being religious to keep others from criticizing their selfish or destructive behavior.

            A truly religious and spiritual parent treats her child according to the Biblical model for proper parenting.  These are some of the duties of a parent that are taught in the Bible:


1.   To govern with kindness:

            Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord…Ephesians 6:4NIV

            Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged…Colossians 3:21NIV


2.   To instruct children in righteousness:

            Fix these words of mine in your hearts and minds; tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads.  Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you like down and when you get up….Deuteronomy 11:18-19NIV

            He decreed statutes for Jacob and established the law in Israel, which he commanded our forefathers to teach their children, so the next generation would know them, even the children yet to be born, and they in turn would tell their children…Psalm 78:5

            Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it….Proverbs 22:6NIV

The living, the living- they praise you, as I am doing today; fathers tell their children about your faithfulness…Isaiah 38:19NIV

Tell it to your children, and let your children tell it to their children, and their children to the next generation….Joel 1:3NIV


3.   To provide for their children:

Now I am ready to visit you for the third time, and I will not be a burden to you, becausewhat I want is not your possessions but you.  After all, children should not have to save up fortheir parents, but parents for their children…..2 Corinthians 12:14


4.   To set a good example:

            For I have chosen him, so that he will direct his children and his household after him to keep the way of the Lord by doing what is right and just, so that the Lord will bring about for Abraham what he has promised him….Genesis 18:19

            On that day tell your son, “I do this because of what the Lord did for me when I came out of Egypt”….Exodus 13:8NIV

            Older men are to be temperate, dignified, sensible, sound in faith, in love, in perseverance.  Older women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior, not malicious gossips nor enslaved to much wine, teaching what is good, so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored….Titus 2:2-5NASB


5.    Fathers are to direct their households:

            A deacon must be the husband of but one wife and must manage his children and his household well….1 Timothy 3:12NIV

            He must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him with proper respect.(If anyone does not know how to manage his own family, how can he take care of God’s church?)…1 Timothy 3:4-5NIV


6.   To discipline their children:

            Discipline your son, and he will give you peace; he will bring delight to your soul…Proverbs 29:17NIV

            The rod of correction imparts wisdom; but a child left to himself disgraces his mother…Proverbs 29:15 NIV


7.   To reflect God’s love in their love:

            As a mother comforts her child, so I will comfort you….Isaiah 66:13NIV

            As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him….Psalm 103:13NIV

            Which of you fathers, if your son asks for a fish, will give him a snake instead?  Or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion?  If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!....Luke 11:11 NIV


            The Lord intended parents to treat their children, His children, with patience, compassion, and love, and to behave in ways that are in the child’s best interests (discipline, teaching, providing for, etc.)  Let us pray for God’s grace as we sincerely try to follow his instructions in raising our own children.

Unfortunately, most of our parents fall far short of God’s plan for family life, or we would not be a sister in Luke 17:3 Ministries.   There is, however, one parent who vastly exceeds the Biblical model for good parenting- one parent who will never let us down, never hurt, abuse, disappoint, betray, or forsake us.  That perfect parent is our heavenly Father.  HALLELUJAH!  PRAISE HIS GLORIOUS NAME!


     ***For a study on all the ways our Father demonstrates his love for us, and to learn how he alone is our perfect parent, we hope you will read the article “Who’s Your Daddy? ” by Rev. Renee.  God bless you, dear Sister, as you come to truly understand his Fatherly role in your life.


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The Lord specifically called Sister Renee to minister to Adult Children, not their parents, estranged siblings or friends, abusive or abused spouses, or victims of other types of abuse, although what we write here can often be meaningful for those folks as well. Because of this, our ministry and website have a narrow focus which we will not be changing. We simply can't cover everything. In addition, it is not our purpose to help you re-establish contact with someone who felt it was necessary to cut you off for the sake of their own well-being. We do not keep a list of resources for estranged parents or any other type of abuse and suggest if you are sincerely interested in making amends with an estranged relative, you do an internet search for a website or group that will be more relevant to you. If you cannot find a group or site that you can relate to, we suggest you start your own, and bless other people in your position as well as find support for your personal issues. 
For Adult Children and others as well, please understand that we cannot give you personal advice concerning your particular family relationships.  We are not therapists or lawyers, we usually do not have enough information to form an opinion, and time does not permit us to give enough thought to each person's individual situation to do it justice. If you need personal advice, we urge you to contact the appropriate professional, depending on the problem you have- your minister, therapist, attorney, police department, local domestic violence hotline, etc. In reading this site, you acknowledge that nothing you might read here qualifies as or substitutes for professional advice. Please note we cannot recommend or refer you to a counselor and we do not have a list of therapists or recovery groups in your area. The only Counselor we recommend is the Holy Ghost, and we encourage you to read the Bible and learn for yourself what the Lord says about the issues we write about.
Our articles are strictly our personal opinions and testimonies and are not intended to give or offer any advice. All who access this site do so with the understanding that we are NOT professional counselors and we strongly recommend that you discuss your individual situation with your pastor or therapist and pray for the Lord's guidance before acting on anything we write on this site. Unfortunately, the abuse we discuss is all too common, inflicted on countless victims by countless perpetrators. All names and identifying details in our articles have been changed to protect the innocent as well as the guilty. Any resemblance to a real person or persons whom you might know is strictly coincidental.