Luke 17:3 Ministries Inc
Saturday, June 24, 2017
For Adult Daughters of Controlling or Abusive Birth-Families
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HOLIDAYS 2007 Newsletter

LUKE 17:3 Ministries

for Adult Daughters

of Controlling or Abusive Birth-Families

A sisterhood for those who seek support in developing self-esteem, setting boundaries and limits, forgiveness, Godly confrontation, recognizing and cutting ties with reprobates, healing, and rejoicing in the peace and love of

 the Lord, our Father

Take heed to yourselves. If thy brother trespass against thee, rebuke him; and if he repent, forgive him……..Luke 17:3

Happy Thanksgiving! Merry Christmas! Happy New Year!

VOLUME 5, ISSUE 4                                                                                                                          HOLIDAYS 2007

 

Luke 17: 3 is the scripture often misquoted, usually by an abuser or his enabler, when he tells you that the Bible says “Forgive and Forget”, or that you must forgive him because you are a Christian. However, Jesus is very specific when he tells us to rebuke the sinner, and if he repents, to forgive him. Have you rebuked your abuser, and has he or she repented?

THE ONLY FORM OF ABUSE STILL CONDONED BY SOCIETY. THE ONLY ABUSE IN WHICH THE VICTIM IS CRITICIZED OR ABANDONED FOR TRYING TO PROTECT HERSELF. CHILD ABUSE THAT DIDN’T END WHEN ADULTHOOD BEGAN…THE CONTINUING ABUSE OF GROWN CHILDREN BY THEIR PARENTS.

If you have ever experienced Adult Child Abuse by a parent, sibling, or other relative, We Welcome You!

Our newsletter is sent to you free-of-charge, as the Lord continually provides. Do you know someone who would like to be on our mailing list? 

If so, please contact:

Rev. Renee Pittelli

Luke 17:3 Ministries, Inc.

P.O. Box 684

Chestertown, NY 12817

or E-mail us at:

Luke 173@hotmail.com

VISIT OUR WEBSITE AT:

www.luke173ministries.org

Please ask about our Luke 17:3 Ministry in Tennessee, founded by Rev. Denise Rossignol.

Happy Birthday Jesus!

 

A PERSONAL NOTE FROM ME TO YOU
 
Dear Sisters,
    Well, it’s already started.  As I write this, it’s only the third week in September, and already the pre-holiday aggravation is well underway for many of us. The traffic to our site has doubled, and the e-mails are flooding in.
    The stress is over one of two things:
    1. How to survive spending the upcoming holidays with abusive relatives, or how to finally get out of doing so.
    Or
    2. Having suddenly been contacted by an estranged relative, or having the abuser we no longer have a relationship with sneak behind our backs and make contact with one of our children.
    If you are going through this, or anticipating it, rest assured that you are not alone. In fact, this experience is practically universal. Control freaks just aren’t known for accepting defeat and bowing out gracefully.
   Abusers whom we no longer speak to will often lurk around in the background till they can catch us at a weak moment. 
 
Continued on Page 2………
GOD’S WORD
   For unto us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. Of the increase of his government and peace there will be no end. He will reign on David’s throne and over his kingdom, establishing and upholding it with justice and righteousness from that time on and forever. The zeal of the Lord Almighty will accomplish this…..Isaiah 9: 6-7NIV
  
   Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus….1 Thessalonians 5: 16-18 NIV
 
I declare to you, brothers, that flesh and blood cannot inherit the kingdom of God, nor does the perishable inherit the imperishable. Listen, I tell you a mystery: 
We will not all sleep, but we will all be changed- in a flash, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet. For the trumpet will sound, the dead will   be raised imperishable,
and the mortal with immortality. When the perishable has been clothed with the imperishable, and the mortal with immortality,
then the saying that is written will come true: “Death has been swallowed up in victory.”
“Where, O death, is your victory? Where, O death, is your sting?” 
The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ…..1 Corinthians 15: 50-56NIV
They figure we'll be all warm & fuzzy & sentimental around the holidays and they think they can take advantage of that and get to us through guilt. Then when we let our guard
down again and start trusting them a little (or as soon as they're nicely sitting at our family table for Thanksgiving dinner and know we wouldn't have the nerve to throw
them out or to even stand up to them in front of everyone else)-Bam! Their true colors come out and we're right back to square one!   
     This must have happened to me 150 times before I finally got it and stopped falling for it. I think a big contributing factor is that we're so conditioned to expect
family problems during the holidays. We joke about it and even make movies about it. Magazine articles are written about how to "handle" difficult relatives at get-togethers.
We treat it like it's a given. But it's not. 
    After 47 years, I for one got fed up with trying to "handle" my relatives, always having to anticipate what might set them off, be one step ahead, and smooth things over fast
before they exploded. It was upsetting, stressful, draining and exhausting. I don't know when this
became my responsibility,
but it was never going to stop until I stopped it. I did that by just point-blank refusing to spend anymore holidays with them.
And for the first time in my life
I was able to enjoy the holidays like I should have all along- with peace, joy, and my husband and kids.
    I also started a tradition of inviting distant relatives, friends, neighbors, and anyone who might be alone. Everyone was great company and we all enjoyed every minute.
So we continued with that tradition and pushed the "delete" button on the abusers.
    If there's one message I'd love to be able to get out there is that anyone and everyone can do what I did, and should do it if the alternative is spending Christmas or
Thanksgiving getting abused. I'm amazed that so many don't realize they have this option, and I didn't either. For 47 years I never imagined that I had a choice.
    Every year from about now till mid Jan, it’s always the same, and suddenly we get this tremendous increase in emails and hits on our website. It is just a hideous time of
year for so many Adult Children as their abusers manufacture so many crises that never have to be. It's really disheartening.
I just wish the light bulb would go on and everybody would realize that they have the power to just say No and make holiday
plans without including their abusive families.
    Yes, it will probably cause a rift when you rock the boat, but you have to get to the point where you're so desperate for some peace that you just don't care about
their reactions anymore. There's a whole other world out there that our abusers don't want us to ever see or taste- a world of normal people who appreciate their families
and can actually manage to be nice to one another. We all deserve joyful holidays, but those of us from abusive families
will have to grit our teeth, take that first step, and MAKE IT HAPPEN.
    This holiday season, let’s support each other as sisters and brothers in Christ. Please keep those facing this heartache and stress in prayer. We all need the courage to take a stand and start our new life, and the Lord’s comfort as we mourn and adjust to changes in our long-term traditions. If you know
someone whose family is abusive, please consider inviting her to join you for the holidays, so she’ll have an alternative to spending Thanksgiving and Christmas alone or
suffering through her relatives’ abuse. Take a deep breath and just say no to your abusers, reach out to someone else, and may the Lord fill your home with his peace and joy. I'll be praying for wonderful holidays this year for all of us...  
Love, Sister Renee
                                                             In His Love, Sister Rene***FOR ARTICLES ON FINALLY CHANGING YOUR HOLIDAYS FOR THE BETTER, VISIT OUR “HAPPIER HOLIDAYS” SECTION.
 
***WHY DO DESTRUCTIVE NARCISSISTIC RELATIVES JUST LOVE TO RUIN OUR HOLIDAYS?? FOR THE EYE-OPENING UNVARNISHED TRUTH, READ DR. SAM VAKNIN’S RIVETING ARTICLE-
 
http://samvak.tripod.com/journal40.html


For help getting through the holidays, visit the Happier Holidays section on our website.

 

THE WISDOM OF PROVERBS

 

Better a dry crust with peace and quiet than a house full of feasting with strife.

….Proverbs 17:1 NIV

 

If a man pays back evil for good, evil will never leave his house.

….Proverbs 17:13 NIV

 

SOME THINGS JUST NEVER CHANGE

How My Birth-Father Called Me Again After 10 Years of No Contact

And Then Took Less Than 5 Minutes To Have His Usual Meltdown,

And The Story Of The Christmas Presents From The Devil

By Rev. Renee Pittelli

 

 

CAN THE ETHIOPIAN CHANGE HIS SKIN OR THE LEOPARD ITS SPOTS?

NEITHER CAN YOU DO GOOD WHO ARE ACCUSTOMED TO DOING EVIL.

….Jeremiah 13:23 NIV

PUT ON THE FULL ARMOR OF GOD SO THAT YOU CAN TAKE YOUR STAND AGAINST THE DEVIL’S SCHEMES. FOR OUR STRUGGLE IS NOT AGAINST FLESH AND BLOOD, BUT AGAINST THE RULERS, AGAINST THE AUTHORITIES, AGAINST THE POWERS OF THIS DARK WORLD AND AGAINST THE SPIRITUAL FORCES OF EVIL IN THE HEAVENLY REALMS. THEREFORE PUT ON THE FULL ARMOR OF GOD, SO THAT WHEN THE DAY OF EVIL COMES, YOU MAY BE ABLE TO STAND YOUR GROUND, AND AFTER YOU HAVE DONE EVERYTHING, TO STAND….Ephesians 6: 11-13 NIV.

 

                I have told the story of my estranged birth-father’s bizarre stalking of my family, right up until the time we moved away (see “Why Don’t They Just Apologize?” on our website). Forgive me for repeating some of my testimony from other articles here, but it’s helpful background for the subject of this article. 

                After seven years of stalking us, when my birth-father saw the For Sale sign on our house, he realized that we were moving away and would be rid of him forever. Knowing that if he was ever going to make a move, it would have to be now or never, he decided to accost my husband outside our home. He started by off by challenging my husband to be “man enough to shake his hand” and ended by requesting to secretly meet with my husband, while warning him not to tell me, because I would “talk him out of it”. My husband, who had no intentions of ever meeting with him, reported back to me. I had been standing on the porch the whole time anyway, in plain sight, with my son, watching this little exchange, but my psycho birth-father apparently thinks he has a cloak of invisibility. 

                After this little episode, I wrote my birth-father a 10-page letter, sent it certified mail and still have the signed receipt. I wanted to make sure he did not approach any of us again, or at least cause him to delay his next attempt until after we had moved and it would be too late. In this letter, I listed numerous detailed incidents of his abuse and told him to stay away from me and my family. Two months later, we moved away, hopefully never to see him again. Little did I know how persistent a control-freak who no longer has control can be.

 

HE’S BAA-AAACK!

 

 

                Almost three years passed of peace and safety in our new location. We had an unlisted phone number, got a PO Box, and only trusted friends and relatives had any idea where we were. That is, until the lawyer husband of one of the evil ex-cousins, who had disowned me 10 years earlier when I began setting limits on my parents, decided to find my unlisted phone number and street address online and give it to my ex-father.   Well, what can you expect? After all, I already knew what lowlifes they all were (see the article “They Can’t All Be Wrong And You Right….Or Can They?” on our site). You can’t expect people like this to respect your wishes to be left in peace.

                So sure enough, on the morning after Thanksgiving 2006, my phone rang (For more on the strange phenomena of the unwelcome surprise holiday contact, see the article “Just When You Thought It Was Safe To Put Up The Christmas Tree” on our site).  And after 10 years, He’s Ba-aaack!   It was dear old dad, calling to stalk and harass us long-distance, since we are now too far away for him to do any more surveillance or drive-bys in person. 

                On the odd chance that he was genuinely remorseful and had really changed (I don’t know what I was thinking!), I was kind enough to agree to hear him out. He spent about 2 minutes crying that it was good to hear my voice again after ten years and that he wanted to be back in the family. I replied that I was willing to listen to what he had to say, and about 30 seconds of dead silence ensued, followed by his statement that he had NO IDEA what he had done wrong!

                A bit taken aback, I inquired as to what was unclear about that 10-page letter I had sent him, which was still only the tip of the iceberg. He tried the usual abuser’s tactic of claiming that it was all in the past and I should let bygones be bygones. I said not without an apology and some proof that he had changed. While it was true that most of the things he did were over 10 years ago, that’s only because I haven’t spoken to him in 10 years, so he hasn’t the opportunity for more recent abuses. 

 

IF YOU’RE NOT SURE, JUST RATTLE ITS CAGE A LITTLE

 

 

                When he continued to insist that he had no idea what he had done wrong, I mentioned just one instance- his final act of treachery and abuse before I cut ties with him completely, which was stealing the money that my mother inherited from her parents, and put in a trust account for me (see the article “A Portrait of Evil” on our site). Whereupon he began ranting, raving and screaming that he “fed” my mother all the years they were married and so was entitled to any money she inherited from her parents, and that she had no right to leave it to anyone else. This statement gives us some insight into the mind of an abusive control-freak, because this is the way they really think.

                I asked him if he didn’t even feel that that episode merited an apology, since it was ME he had stolen from, and not my mother. He thought for a moment, and then slyly said, “I’m sorry the relationship went bad. Is that a good enough apology for you?” This is typical satanic conniving and “bargaining”, and another attempt to avoid any accountability. Of course I said no, that I wanted an apology for the specific things he had done. He then smugly stated that he had nothing to apologize for, and I replied that in that case we had nothing further to say to each other.

               Realizing that I was about to end the conversation, he began yelling, “Wait, wait, how are Mike and Tony (my sons)?” I said “They’re fine”. He quickly began peppering me with questions about them- where did they live, were they married, did they have children? I replied, “I can’t give you any information about Mike and Tony without their permission.” He then demanded their phone numbers, which I also refused to give him. 

                Switching gears to another ruse, he claimed that he wanted to put them back in his will, but if I wouldn't give him their phone numbers, they would not inherit his money and it would be all my fault.  Now, we all know that nothing is preventing him from putting them in his will, with or without me, and this is just a blatant lie to get information about them.

                I said, “You can’t blackmail me.” He replied that he wasn’t blackmailing me. I answered “You just said that you would do something to hurt my sons if I don’t give you what you want.” He then stated point blank, “Yes, I AM blackmailing you”.   I simply repeated that I was not going to give him their phone numbers without their permission, and he again became enraged, began screaming at me, called me “pig-headed” (a name he had called me all my life), and hung up the phone in my ear. 

 

IS THIS YOUR IDEA OF AN APOLOGY?

 

 

                What is most fascinating about this conversation is that the entire thing took place in under five minutes. In the blink of an eye, Daddy Darling went from trying to con me with crocodile tears, to wily conniving, to threatening, screaming, name-calling, and slamming the phone down. After ten years of estrangement, most people would be grateful to have been given a chance to make amends. Realizing that I didn’t owe him anything and could hang up at any time, someone who really wanted to “be back in the family” would make the most of that opportunity to apologize and do his best to show some gratitude, be respectful, and mend fences, knowing that he might never get another chance. 

                Yet after ten years of no contact, my ex-father took less than five minutes to revert to his usual abuse, just because I would not give him what he wanted. All I had to do was rattle his cage a tiny bit for his true colors to come out again. So much for wanting to be back in the family! If this was his idea of making up, it sure left a lot to be desired.   And needless to say, this whole episode didn’t do much to endear my adult sons to him when I told them about it.

                My family and I were dumbfounded at how true it is that my birth-father is his own worst enemy. You'd think he’d at least spend maybe 20 minutes pretending to be nice before the name-calling, threats, and yelling started!  He didn’t want to be back in the family so much as he wanted everything to go back to the way it was when he used to get away with abusing everybody. Having victims to abuse is what he really missed. 

                It’s amazing how our abusers just never seem to grow up. Daddy Darling doesn’t look in the mirror and see the nasty, foolish, silly old man that we now see when we look at him. He still sees himself as the powerful, intimidating bully he used to be, way back when, and sees me as the vulnerable, frightened young girl he can still push around. It’s been forty years since his tantrums stopped getting him what he wanted, but my ex-father still thinks that maybe one day it might work again. He just doesn’t want to admit that that ship has sailed. 

 

MY TURN TO MAKE SOME RULES


                After giving it some thought, I decided to write him a short letter listing my perfectly reasonable conditions for ever speaking to him again. No name-calling, no insults, no raising your voice in anger, no bullying, no threats, no blackmail, no hanging up on me, no disrepecting me or any of us. I pointed out that after 10 years of no contact and 2 minutes of claiming that he wanted to be back in the family, he did all of the above within the first 5 minutes of our conversation. I told him I expected a sincere apology and a guarantee that none of these things would ever happen again.
                I also stated that I expected a thank you for agreeing to give him some of my time and for being willing to hear what he had to say, which I did not owe him, and that just because someone disagrees with him or doesn't do what he wants does not give him the right to become abusive. I pointed out that this is exactly the way he acted every time we were together as a "family", and until he acknowledged that his behavior was and is unacceptable, admitted the damage and pain he had caused his family, apologized for the way he's always acted, and started treating everyone with kindness and respect, he was not to call again.   I said I don't obey him, he doesn't give me orders, and that if he wanted my cooperation, then he'd have to show me why he deserved it.
                Now of course, I knew none of this was going to happen, but I also knew that it was imperative to get the boundaries clear for my own sense of taking back some of my power, and in order to rebuke him as the Bible instructs us to do (Ezekiel 3:17-19). But one thing my ex-father can't stand is OTHER PEOPLE having conditions. Boundaries are a foreign concept to him. After mailing my letter, I remembered how he always said that no one else was allowed to “have the last word”. HE always has to have the last word. My letter meant that I had had the last word! I smiled at my small empowering victory, although I knew it would be fleeting.   Because of his "last word rule", I figured he’d probably contact me again.   I didn't think it was over, because what he wanted to do was to talk to my sons, and he didn't get what he wanted.

 

IF I WAS SO TERRIBLE, THEN WHY DO YOU WANT ME BACK?

 

                It was unnerving to hear from my evil birth-father, and also creepy because it proved that he and my other ex-relatives are still thinking about me long after I forgot about them. Like Sister Denise says, it feels like you brushed up against Satan. But by God’s grace, I was surprised to realize how much better I was able to handle it than I used to be. I give God the glory for healing me and giving me courage. Now I have much more confidence in my ability to deal with Daddy Darling and stand up to him without allowing him to intimidate me. 

                This time when I talked to him, it was like talking to a complete stranger- no emotions either way. I realized that I pretty much don't care anymore, about him or any of the others who disowned me. They're so far in the past and I've moved on with my life. It’s freaky that they're even the least bit interested in looking me up. 

                But they can’t be allowed to run the show anymore, making all the rules and having contact with me and my family just because they want it, and whether we welcome it or not. It’s not like my ex-relatives are trying to find me so they can apologize and make amends. It’s just more of the same manipulation, demands, lies, treachery, and abuse. If they choose to waste their time trying to contact me, I have no guilt about cutting them off again.

                Life goes on, and I guess sooner or later you reach the point where you just don't care anymore. Unfortunately, the creepy part is that your abusers never seem to reach that point with you! It seems like they will forever be obsessed with keeping some connection, no matter how weak, to the one they betrayed and disowned. If I was such a terrible person that they felt they had to disown me, then why on earth would they want to find me again? Why do they still want to have anything to do with me? Why can’t they move on like I have? Guilty consciences, perhaps? Well, I choose to consider it a positive and say that it sure is nice to be so unforgettable!

               

ROUND 2- HERE WE GO AGAIN

                A couple of weeks passed, and in mid-December, I went to the Post Office box to get our mail and found 3 certified letter “Christmas cards” from my birth father.   I had to sign for them, which I did after some thought, because I wanted to know what he was up to, and so I would have them as future evidence for my lawyer or the police. 

                One card was for me and my husband, one for our son Mike and one for our other son Tony. All were addressed to our street address and not the PO Box, which is how I know that my stalker ex-relatives looked up the deed to my house online. Like I said, stalkers.

 

IF I CAN JUST GET HER TO REMEMBER THE GOOD OLD DAYS,

SHE’LL BE PUTTY IN MY HANDS

 

 

                I’ll start with the card addressed to me and my husband. Inside it was another card my ex-father had sent the previous year to my old address, but got it back because I didn’t leave a forwarding address when I moved. So he enclosed it, still sealed, in this year’s card. I opened it first, and for starters, it was an old card imprinted with my mother’s and his name from before she died 8 years ago. He just crossed out her name and wrote “Dad” by his. He’s been remarried for 5 years, and yet he saved my deceased mother’s Christmas cards for 8 years and is still using them! 

                He was too cheap to buy a $1.00 card, and also demonically trying to “soften me up” by reminding me of my mother at Christmastime.  Demons always probe for your weaknesses so they can use them against you.

                Still trying to exploit my sentimentality, he enclosed inside this card from last year a copy of a guestbook entry which I had posted online two years previously. It was for my favorite uncle, whose family had put a memorial in their local newspaper, honoring the 25th anniversary of his passing. The newspaper featured an online guestbook for obituaries and memorials, and I posted on it. I wrote how much we all loved and missed my uncle and treasured the time we had with him and what a good man he was. 

                One of the family nut-jobs apparently printed it out and gave a copy to my jealous birth-father, who must have been steaming that nobody would ever write something so nice about him, because nobody can stand him. But ever the pragmatist, he figured it could still be useful to him, a nice little weapon for trying to make me feel guilty. So he enclosed it in my “Christmas card” with a note of his own, which said:
                “During this holiday season, would it not be charitable ( cunning way to appeal to my Christianity) to let bygones be bygones and nothing else. I really don’t know what terrible thing I’m accused of (10 page letter notwithstanding) and why I’ve been ostracized, but I would like to know! You have my address, some sign from you is appreciated. Dad” He then enclosed a tiny self-addressed envelope with one measly stamp, when I would have needed a piano box and at least $30 in postage to repeat to him all the “terrible things he was being accused of”! I guess he was attempting to limit how much I could say about him. (For more about the abuser’s convenient forgetfulness, see the article “Selective Amnesia” on our site.)

 

THE INSANITY CONTINUES

 

 

                Ok, so much for the previous year’s Christmas card, which I received a year late. The reason he originally sent this card was just to see if the Post Office would forward it, and then he’d be able to get my new address. But his underhanded ruse didn’t work and the card was returned to him, because I had anticipated his little tricks and had the foresight not to leave a forwarding address. So I bought another year of time before he was able to find us with the help of his troublemaking nephew, whom I had never done anything to, but who did his bidding and helped a stalker find my family again.

 

 

SINCE WHEN DOES SATAN SEND CHRISTMAS PRESENTS?

 

 

                As if this story isn’t bad enough so far, now the really creepy, demonic stuff starts. Inside my Christmas card for the current year was a $2000 check with “Xmas present” written on the memo line. Notice that Satan cannot bring himself to write CHRISTmas. His bank account number was blacked out in magic marker (although we can read it through the black just fine!) and he wrote “Not Valid” where it should have been signed. When I turned it over, this was written on the back:
                “I will replace this check #198 only if and when I am contacted by recipients of checks #199 and #200.” His phone number was included.

                Well, you guessed it. The “recipients of Checks #199 & #200” were my sons, Mike and Tony. Inside each of their cards was a $1000 check, all crossed out and invalidated also, but still referred to in the memo as their “Xmas presents”. 

                On the back of both of their checks, he wrote “I will replace this check #199 (or #200) only if the payee contacts me BEFORE JANUARY 1, 2007 (date underlined)” His phone number was also written on both of their checks. 

                So I was supposed to sell out my kids for $2000. Oh, how Satan tries to tempt the children of God! HE would have sold HIS children out for a nickel, so he was sure that I would betray my kids for $2000. All narcissistic abusers think you are a lowlife just like them, only dumber.

                And how pathetic is it that he thinks he has to PAY my kids to call him? Besides being disgusting and preposterous, it is also an insult to our intelligence. My kids would never have actually seen any real money, even if they did call! There is absolutely no way that a cheapskate who wouldn’t spend a dollar to buy a card that doesn’t have his dead wife’s name printed on it is going to part with $2,000 ($4,000 if you include my bribe) for a couple of phone calls. How stupid does he think we are? And what happened to my No Blackmail rule, anyway?

 

AND NOW, THE REAL REASON FOR THIS SUDDEN INTEREST IN HIS EX-GRANDSONS

 

 

                Now, you probably think this story can’t get any freakier, but trust me, it can.   Just as we were all looking at each other in amazement, trying to absorb the jaw-dropping nerve of this guy, I realized something even more psycho.   Every time daddy darling wrote my sons’ names, he put HIS last name (let’s call him Smith) as THEIR middle names, as in Mike Smith Pittelli, and Tony Smith Pittelli, and on my card and check, my old name Linda (he doesn’t know that I changed my name to Renee –see the article “My Name Is Renee…But It Used To Be Linda” on our site) Smith Pittelli. 

                Our names were written this way on the outside of all of our envelopes, on all three cards, and on all three bogus checks. This demonstrated even MORE satanic trickery. There is NO SUCH PERSON as Mike Smith Pittelli or Tony Smith Pittelli. If they called grandpa-from-hell as requested, and he “replaced” the voided checks, they would not have been able to cash the new checks anyway, because they would have been made out to non-existent people.

                Then I noticed that he sent both of my sons “Son” cards, instead of “Grandson” cards. He was claiming my sons for his own, and even giving them his last name! (See the article “Family Jealousy” on our site for more of this story).

                 You see, his last name will die out with him because he did not have sons, and all of my male cousins who have his surname had daughters. My husband thinks that Daddy Darling has finally gone totally nuts and is trying to make our kids agree to carry on his name before he dies. It’s his one feeble shot at immortality. He has no other hope for eternity, because of his lifelong refusal to accept Jesus as his Lord and give up his reprobate ways. 

                Unfortunately, after he spent 90 years dragging his family name through the mud, nobody wants to be associated with it. It SHOULD die with him, and it WILL die with him, never to be remembered again. He has made his name a curse, and it is right and just that it will never again be spoken. AND THE LORD SAID TO ME, “I HAVE SEEN THIS PEOPLE, AND THEY ARE A STIFF-NECKED PEOPLE INDEED! LET ME ALONE, SO THAT I MAY DESTROY THEM AND BLOT OUT THEIR NAME FROM UNDER HEAVEN”….Deuteronomy 9”13-14. EVIL MEN ARE NO LONGER REMEMBERED, BUT ARE BROKEN LIKE A TREE…Job 24:20.

                In case you’re wondering how this entire wacko episode ended, don’t worry, my sons never called him, and no one responded to him in any way. The January 1st “deadline” he gave Mike and Tony came and went, his attempt to force us all to spend our holidays thinking about him and discussing him backfired, and HE wound up spending HIS holidays waiting for those calls. The only thing that all of his conniving, bribes, and demonic psycho scheming accomplished was to give me evidence for future harassment charges, and frustrate his control-freak ego.

 

                ***For more on my ex-father’s bizarre jealousy and attempts to make my sons choose him over me, see the article “Family Jealousy- The Shameful Secret Behind Abuse & Betrayal” on our website.

          ***For more on the Surprise Pre-Holiday Contact, see our article “Just When You Thought It Was Safe To Put Up The Christmas Tree” on our site.

         

               

A LEOPARD WILL NEVER CHANGE ITS SPOTS

 

                Yes, there is hope, but only for those who are willing to do what it takes to change. In order to have the desire to change, one has to have some humanity left. But the Bible teaches us that when you see this level of evil, you are no longer dealing with a person (Ephesians 6: 11-13). You are dealing with a demon. It’s not human. It’s a thing. A very evil thing. 

                For those who have not turned themselves completely over to Satan, the only way to have a new heart put in them is to accept Jesus as their Lord and Savior. Many of us have witnessed about the Lord many times to our abusers, unfortunately with precious little success. I witnessed to my birth-father about Jesus numerous times and encouraged him to read the Word of God. Not only did it do no good whatsoever, but it gave him the ammunition he thought he could use against me in the future to “shame” me when I was not being what he imagined was a “good Christian”.  

                Because his eyes were veiled (Isaiah 6: 9-10, Mark 4:12, 2 Corinthians 3: 14-18), my ex-father only saw my Christianity as a weakness and a vulnerability that he could somehow exploit and use to his advantage. But he was greatly mistaken. My Christianity is my strength. The Lord has healed me and given me the courage to stand up to my birth-father’s evil and refuse to play his games. 

                Truly evil abusers do not want to change. They are children of the devil. They will not turn their backs on their evil and turn to Jesus. The Bible tells us that the Lord will then leave them to suffer the consequences of their reprobate minds (Romans 8:5-8, Romans 1: 18-32), and he instructs us to leave them as well (2 Corinthians 6:14-18).

                Only those who are willing to turn to God can ever change. For a reprobate, there is no hope of change, and no hope for eternity. The only certainty in his future is a one-way ticket on the express train to hell. For our own protection and the safety of our loved ones, we need to stay as far away from demonics as we can, and to refuse all contact. We do not need to ever doubt our decision to cut ties with such an abuser. We can make the decision to divorce him secure in the knowledge that he will never change, because a leopard never changes its spots.

         A MAN WHO REMAINS STIFF-NECKED AFTER MANY REBUKES WILL SUDDENLY BE DESTROYED, WITHOUT REMEDY….Proverbs 29:1

 

         WHEN SUCH A PERSON HEARS THE WORDS OF THIS OATH, HE INVOKES A BLESSING ON HIMSELF AND THEREFORE THINKS, “I WILL BE SAFE, EVEN THOUGH I PERSIST IN GOING MY OWN WAY.”….THE LORD WILL NEVER BE WILLING TO FORGIVE HIM; HIS WRATH AND ZEAL WILL BURN AGAINST THAT MAN. ALL THE CURSES WRITTEN IN THIS BOOK WILL FALL UPON HIM, AND THE LORD WILL BLOT OUT HIS NAME FROM UNDER HEAVEN….Deuteronomy 29: 19-20.

 

       HE SAID,”GO AND TELL THIS PEOPLE: ‘BE EVER HEARING, BUT NEVER UNDERSTANDING; BE EVER SEEING, BUT NEVER PERCEIVING.’ MAKE THE HEARTS OF THIS PEOPLE CALLOUSED; MAKE THEIR EARS DULL AND CLOSE THEIR EYES. OTHERWISE THEY MIGHT SEE WITH THEIR EYES, HEAR WITH THEIR EARS, UNDERSTAND WITH THEIR HEARTS, AND TURN AND BE HEALED.”….Isaiah 6:9-10

 

          HE TOLD THEM, “THE SECRET OF THE KINGDOM OF GOD HAS BEEN GIVEN TO YOU. BUT TO THOSE ON THE OUTSIDE EVERYTHING IS SAID IN PARABLES SO THAT, “THEY MAY BE EVER SEEING BUT NEVER PERCEIVING, AND EVER HEARING BUT NEVER UNDERSTANDING; OTHERWISE THEY MIGHT TURN AND BE FORGIVEN!”….Mark 4: 12

 

          BUT THEIR MINDS WERE MADE DULL, FOR TO THIS DAY THE SAME VEIL REMAINS WHEN THE OLD COVENANT IS READ. IT HAS NOT BEEN REMOVED, BECAUSE ONLY IN CHRIST IS IT TAKEN AWAY. EVEN TO THIS DAY WHEN MOSES IS READ, A VEIL COVERS THEIR HEARTS. BUT WHENEVER ANYONE TURNS TO THE LORD, THE VEIL IS TAKEN AWAY. NOW THE LORD IS THE SPIRIT, AND WHERE THE SPIRIT OF THE LORD IS, THERE IS FREEDOM. AND WE, WHO WITH UNVEILED FACES ALL REFLECT TO LORD’S GLORY, ARE BEING TRANSFORMED INTO HIS LIKENESS WITH EVER-INCREASING GLORY, WHICH COMES FROM THE LORD, WHO IS THE SPIRIT….2 Corinthians 3: 14-18.

 

                DO NOT BE YOKED TOGETHER WITH UNBELIEVERS. FOR WHAT DO RIGHTEOUSNESS AND WICKEDNESS HAVE IN COMMON? OR WHAT FELLOWSHIP CAN LIGHT HAVE WITH DARKNESS? WHAT HARMONY IS THERE BETWEEN CHRIST AND BELIAL? WHAT DOES A BELIEVER HAVE IN COMMON WITH AN UNBELIEVER? WHAT AGREEMENT IS THERE BETWEEN THE TEMPLE OF GOD AND IDOLS? FOR WE ARE THE TEMPLE OF THE LIVING GOD. AS GOD HAS SAID: “I WILL LIVE WITH THEM AND WALK AMONG THEM, AND I WILL BE THEIR GOD, AND THEY WILL BE MY PEOPLE.”

          “THEREFORE COME OUT FROM THEM AND BE SEPARATE, SAYS THE LORD. TOUCH NO UNCLEAN THING, AND I WILL RECEIVE YOU.”

          “I WILL BE A FATHER TO YOU, AND YOU WILL BE MY SONS AND DAUGHTERS, SAYS THE LORD ALMIGHTY.”…..2 Corinthians 6: 14-18.

 

                ***For an in-depth study on reprobates and the reprobate mind, see the article “Satan’s Evil Minion- The Unredeemable Reprobate” on our site.

 

         You will be with child and give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus. He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High. The Lord God will give him the throne of his father David, and he will reign over the house of Jacob forever;   hiS kingdom will never end…..Luke 1: 31-33NIV

 

 

For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you., the riches of his glorious inheritance to the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the one working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.…..

…….Ephesians 1:15-23NIV

               

 

Dear Sisters  & Brothers, too,

 

     Merry Christmas~

Happy Thanksgiving ~

& All God’s Blessings In The New Year~

 

      This Thanksgiving, we give thanks for you.  You have been such a blessing to us and we thank you for your support and encouragement.

 

      This Christmas, we ask our Father to bless you  and your loved ones abundantly with the peace, joy, and love that only he can bring. Have a wonderful holiday season and a blessed New Year.

 

    Eternally in His Love,

    Sister  Renee &     

    Sister Denise

PSALM 91

   

He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.”

Surely he will save you from the fowler’s snare and from the deadly pestilence. He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart. 

You will not fear the terror of the night, nor the arrow that flies by day, nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness, nor the plague that destroys at midday.

A thousand may fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand, but it will not come near you. You will only observe with your eyes and see the punishment of the wicked.

If you make the Most High your dwelling- even the Lord, who is my refuge- then no harm will befall you, no disaster will come near your tent,

For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways; they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone. You will tread upon the lion and the cobra; you will trample the great lion and the serpent.

“Because he loves me,” says the Lord, “I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name. He will call upon me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him.

With long life will I satisfy him and show him my salvation.”

           

Thanks be to God for his indescribable gift!....

2 Corinthians 9:15 NI

Copyright 2002-2016.-All articles on this site are copyrighted. Permission to copy is granted for non-profit use only.Please help yourself to anything we write if you can use it to help others. A link back to this site is our only requirement. Please contact us for any commercial or other use. All e-mails, letters, and other correspondence become the property of Luke 17:3 Ministries, Inc. Due to the large volume of e-mails, we're sorry that we are unable to personally answer every one, but we do lift everyone who writes to us in prayer to the Lord.
The Lord specifically called Sister Renee to minister to Adult Children, not their parents, estranged siblings or friends, abusive or abused spouses, or victims of other types of abuse, although what we write here can often be meaningful for those folks as well. Because of this, our ministry and website have a narrow focus which we will not be changing. We simply can't cover everything. In addition, it is not our purpose to help you re-establish contact with someone who felt it was necessary to cut you off for the sake of their own well-being. We do not keep a list of resources for estranged parents or any other type of abuse and suggest if you are sincerely interested in making amends with an estranged relative, you do an internet search for a website or group that will be more relevant to you. If you cannot find a group or site that you can relate to, we suggest you start your own, and bless other people in your position as well as find support for your personal issues. 
For Adult Children and others as well, please understand that we cannot give you personal advice concerning your particular family relationships.  We are not therapists or lawyers, we usually do not have enough information to form an opinion, and time does not permit us to give enough thought to each person's individual situation to do it justice. If you need personal advice, we urge you to contact the appropriate professional, depending on the problem you have- your minister, therapist, attorney, police department, local domestic violence hotline, etc. In reading this site, you acknowledge that nothing you might read here qualifies as or substitutes for professional advice. Please note we cannot recommend or refer you to a counselor and we do not have a list of therapists or recovery groups in your area. The only Counselor we recommend is the Holy Ghost, and we encourage you to read the Bible and learn for yourself what the Lord says about the issues we write about.
Our articles are strictly our personal opinions and testimonies and are not intended to give or offer any advice. All who access this site do so with the understanding that we are NOT professional counselors and we strongly recommend that you discuss your individual situation with your pastor or therapist and pray for the Lord's guidance before acting on anything we write on this site. Unfortunately, the abuse we discuss is all too common, inflicted on countless victims by countless perpetrators. All names and identifying details in our articles have been changed to protect the innocent as well as the guilty. Any resemblance to a real person or persons whom you might know is strictly coincidental.