Live the Glory of God
We are a Bible-based and Holy Ghost-inspired sisterhood for those who seek support in developing self-esteem, setting boundaries and limits, forgiveness, Godly confrontation, recognizing and cutting ties with reprobates, healing, and rejoicing in the peace and love of the Lord, our Father.
 
If you have ever experienced Adult Child Abuse by a parent, sibling, or other relative, we welcome you and pray that you will find our website helpful.
 
You are not alone.
 
There are thousands of us just like you, with birth-families just like yours.
 
You will never be alone.
 
‘When my father and mother forsake me, then the Lord will take me up’…..Psalm 27:10KJV.
 
‘Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you! See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands’……Isaiah 49: 15-16NIV.
 
TAKE HEED TO YOURSELVES: IF THY BROTHER TRESPASS AGAINST THEE, REBUKE HIM; AND IF HE REPENT, FORGIVE HIM…..Luke 17:3
 
Luke 17:3 is the scripture often misquoted, usually by an abuser or his Silent Partners, when he tells you that the Bible says ‘Forgive and Forget’, or that you must forgive him because you are a Christian. However, Jesus is very specific when He tells us to rebuke the sinner, and if he repents, to forgive him. Have you rebuked your abuser, and has he or she repented?
 
The Bible tells us to forgive as God forgave us (Ephesians 4:32, Colossians 3:13).God forgives us when we come to him, confess our sin, ask for forgiveness (apologize) and repent (turn from our sinful ways).( Ezekiel 33:10-19, Isaiah 55:6, Jeremiah 6:16 & 26:3, Luke 13:3 & 5, Acts 3:19). He does not forgive those who are ‘stiff-necked’, continue doing evil, or refuse to repent. The Lord does not expect more of us than he himself is willing to do! Do we imagine ourselves to be holier than God? God requires repentance, and so must we.
 
We hope to provide you with helpful Scripture, book reviews, and original articles on realizing when you’re being abused, manipulated, or controlled, setting limits and boundaries, learning to say ‘No’ without feeling guilty, forgiveness, meaningful vs. meaningless apologies, understanding the abuser as well as other relatives who defend him, learning to let an abuser suffer the Natural Consequences of his behavior, improving your holidays, cutting ties with evil people, recovering from a lost relationship, and, most importantly, learning to rely on our real Father and his limitless love for you.
 
Please take your time and browse through all the sections on our site. When you click a section title on the left menu, links to the articles in that section will appear under the section name. For a quick list of all our articles, see the Index of Current and Future Articles. God bless you, dear Sister, in your search for peace.
 

JESUS IS LORD !

 
Heavenly Father, we worship you and praise your mighty name. Holy Spirit, we glorify you and thank you for being our Counselor and Comforter. King Jesus, you are the King of Kings and Lord of Lords, yet you have called yourself our brother, and called us your friends! Thank you Jesus! We exalt you, Lord! You alone are worthy of all honor and praise. We humbly confess our sins and repent of ever offending you, Lord. Thank you, Father, for your forgiveness and infinite patience with us. We pray for your guidance and blessing upon your ministry, Lord, for , in your mercy, you know that we are only dust and can do nothing without you. Father, we give thanks for our sisters, and for bringing us all through the fire. We lift our sisters up to you, and ask for your comfort, counsel, and courage. We ask you to remember our sisters, and to bless them abundantly, now and throughout their lives, with the joy and peace that only you can give, in Jesus’ holy name. Amen.
 
 
Copyright 2002-2021.-All articles on this site are copyrighted. Permission to copy is granted for non-profit use only.Please help yourself to anything we write if you can use it to help others. A link back to this site is our only requirement. Please contact us for any commercial or other use. All e-mails, letters, and other correspondence become the property of Luke 17:3 Ministries, Inc. Due to the large volume of e-mails, we’re sorry that we are unable to personally answer every one, but we do lift everyone who writes to us in prayer to the Lord.

The Lord specifically called Sister Renee to minister to Adult Children, not their parents, estranged siblings or friends, abusive or abused spouses, or victims of other types of abuse, although what we write here can often be meaningful for those folks as well. Because of this, our ministry and website have a narrow focus which we will not be changing. We simply can’t cover everything. In addition, it is not our purpose to help you re-establish contact with someone who felt it was necessary to cut you off for the sake of their own well-being. We do not keep a list of resources for estranged parents or any other type of abuse and suggest if you are sincerely interested in making amends with an estranged relative, you do an internet search for a website or group that will be more relevant to you. If you cannot find a group or site that you can relate to, we suggest you start your own, and bless other people in your position as well as find support for your personal issues.

For Adult Children and others as well, please understand that we cannot give you personal advice concerning your particular family relationships. We are not therapists or lawyers, we usually do not have enough information to form an opinion, and time does not permit us to give enough thought to each person’s individual situation to do it justice. If you need personal advice, we urge you to contact the appropriate professional, depending on the problem you have- your minister, therapist, attorney, police department, local domestic violence hotline, etc. In reading this site, you acknowledge that nothing you might read here qualifies as or substitutes for professional advice. Please note we cannot recommend or refer you to a counselor and we do not have a list of therapists or recovery groups in your area. The only Counselor we recommend is the Holy Ghost, and we encourage you to read the Bible and learn for yourself what the Lord says about the issues we write about.

Our articles are strictly our personal opinions and testimonies and are not intended to give or offer any advice. All who access this site do so with the understanding that we are NOT professional counselors and we strongly recommend that you discuss your individual situation with your pastor or therapist and pray for the Lord’s guidance before acting on anything we write on this site. Unfortunately, the abuse we discuss is all too common, inflicted on countless victims by countless perpetrators. All names and identifying details in our articles have been changed to protect the innocent as well as the guilty. Any resemblance to a real person or persons whom you might know is strictly coincidental.
 
 
We appreciate hearing from you! All e-mails, letters, and other correspondence become the property of Luke 17:3 Ministries, Inc. Due to the large volume of e-mails, we’re sorry that we are unable to personally answer every one, but we do lift everyone who writes to us in prayer to the Lord. The Lord specifically called Sister Renee to minister to Adult Children, not their parents, estranged siblings or friends, abusive or abused spouses, or victims of other types of abuse, although what we write here can often be meaningful for those folks as well. Because of this, our ministry has a narrow focus which we will not be changing. We simply can’t cover everything. In addition, it is not our purpose to help you re-establish contact with someone who felt it was necessary to cut you off for the sake of their own well-being. We do not keep a list of resources for estranged parents or other types of abuse and suggest if you are sincerely interested in making amends, you do an internet search for a website or group that will be more relevant to you. If you cannot find a group or site that you can relate to, we suggest you start your own and bless other people in your position as well as find support for your personal issues. For Adult Children and others as well, please understand that we cannot give you personal advice concerning your particular family relationships. We are not therapists or lawyers, we usually do not have enough information to form an opinion, and time does not permit us to give enough thought to each person’s individual situation to do it justice. If you need personal advice, we urge you to contact the appropriate professional, depending on the problem you have- your minister, therapist, attorney, police department, local domestic violence hotline, etc. Please note we cannot recommend or refer you to a counselor and we do not have a list of therapists or recovery groups in your area, so you’ll need to do your own research in your locale and with your insurance company, and try a few until you find a therapist who’s a good fit. The only Counselor we can recommend is the Holy Ghost, and we encourage you to read the Bible and learn for yourself what the Lord says about the issues we write about. May the blessings and peace of the Lord be with you.

Book Ordering Information

 
Books by Sister Renee Pittelli~
All books are available in paperback and Kindle.

***”Forgiveness: Not Necessarily What You Think: What the Bible Really Says, and What it Doesn’t Say” – Click here for amazon listing in paperback. Click here for Kindle.

***”The Christian’s Guide to No Contact: How to End Your Relationships With Narcissistic, Psychopathic, and Abusive Family and Friends, and Still Be a Good Christian” – Click here for amazon listing in paperback. Click here for Kindle.

***”Narcissistic Confrontations: A Biblical Guide to Your Abusive Family and Church Family’s Battle Tactics, Covert Operations, and Nuclear Meltdowns”. You can find it on Amazon HERE, Barnesandnoble HERE, or read the book’s webpage HERE.

***”Breaking the Bonds of Adult Child Abuse: A Biblical Textbook on Abusive Narcissistic Families, How They Operate, And How To Deal With Them”. It’s 650 pages jam-packed with help, information and scriptural references. You can click here for the book’s webpage for details and an e-book version, or go directly to barnesandnoble.com or amazon.com to order it in paperback or Kindle.

***”Narcissistic Predicaments: A Biblical Guide for Navigating the Schemes, Snares, and No-Win Situations Unique to Abusive Families”. It’s available on Amazon and Barnesandnoble.com. Click here for the Amazon listing in paperback. Click here for the Barnesandnoble.com listing. Click here for the Kindle edition or click here for the Narcissistic Predicaments’ webpage.

***”The Family Freeloader: A Biblical Answer for Sob Stories, Con Games, and Never Having to Get Off the Couch” – Click here for Amazon (Paperback and Kindle Editions ) and Barnesandnoble.com. Click here for the webpage featuring excerpts and ordering info.

Prayer List

 
Please remember our Sisters and Brothers on this list in your prayers. If you would like to add any names, please e-mail us at luke173@hotmail.com, use the Contact Us link on the left menu, or send a note to Luke 17:3 Ministries, PO Box 684, Chestertown, NY 12817. You must include your full name although it will not be published on the list. We will pray for ANYONE and EVERYONE, not just victims of abuse. And YES, you can add yourself! ***Click HERE to visit our Prayer List For Pets.
 
***If we put you on our Prayer List and our prayers are answered, please let us know so we can glorify the Lord!
 

PRAYER LIST

 
I thank my God, making mention of thee always in my prayers….Philemon 4
And the prayer of faith shall save the sick, and the Lord shall raise him up; and if he hath committed sins, they shall be forgiven him. Confess your faults to one another, and pray for one another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much….James 5:15-16
 
Let us lift one another in prayer to Our Lord!
 
***There are so many needs our prayer list seems to grow by the day. Please pray for these folks for healing in their bodies, minds, and hearts. Thank you so much and may God bless you for blessing us~
Harry, Linda, Dan, Vince, Pat, Joe, Frank, Patty, Matthew, Franky, Mike, Christina, Marie, Theresa, Deana, Skyler, Ryan, Renee, Phil, Laraine, Debbie, Nine, Joyce, Lenore, Robbie, Lisa, Paul, Ingrid, Karen, Ashley, Ruby, Samantha, Millie.
*** Please pray for Sherri. She has just gotten a cancer diagnosis and has no family support.Your prayers are greatly appreciated.
 
***Urgent prayer is requested for Aleshia, who is 6 weeks pregnant. She has already lost two babies and the doctor is concerned about this 3rd pregnancy as well. Please pray for her and her baby. Thank you so much Prayer Warriors.
 
***Please pray for Denise for her continued success and God’s blessings, and that her family gets saved and her parents stop their evil.
 
***Please keep a little boy named Israel in your prayers. He is speech-delayed and not talking. Please pray for God to heal him and open his voice. Thank you so much.
 
***Please pray for Jeff, who is going through a bitter divorce. Prayer is requested for deliverance for him and his wife, especially from the Jezebel and Ahab spirits, and salvation for unsaved family and friends, and also a fair court ruling. Please especially pray for his two young children. Thank you so much Prayer Warriors and God bless you.
 
***Urgent prayer is needed for a tiny 2-week old baby girl Eden who was born with only 3 chambers in her heart. She is having surgery Wednesday, the first of several. Thank you Prayer Warriors. ***Praise Report~ Eden came through the surgery well, thank you Jesus! She needs to gain weight for more upcoming surgery and she isn’t. Please continue to pray. Thank you Prayer Warriors, God listens and answers.***Praise Report~ Baby Eden is growing and doing very well. Praise you Lord! Thank you all for praying, God is listening. Hallelujah! Glory to God!
 
***Urgent prayer is needed for Frank, who has a brain tumor and is going for more tests to find out what it is. It might be a spread of a previous cancer. Please pray Prayer Warriors and thank you so much.***Praise Report~ Frank had the tumor removed and treatment for cancer that had spread to his lung as well. He is now in remission with no sign of cancer. Glory to God! Thank you everyone for your prayers.

***Please pray for Michelle C. who is suffering great heartache because of abuse from her mother and siblings. Your prayers are greatly appreciated.

 
***Please pray for C. and family who are under spiritual attack. Thank you Prayer Warriors.
 
***Please pray for brothers Carter and Jackson, two little boys. Thank you and God bless you.
 
***Please pray for Kelley who has a court date with a narcissist pending. She is dealing with several narcissists in her family. Your prayers are greatly appreciated.
 
*** Urgent Prayer Request for Nelda Gray who just had a quadruple bypass. It had been 6 days and she still isn’t breathing without the respirator. Please pray for complete recovery and healing. Please also keep her husband Lawrence and family in prayer also as they await her healing. Thank you so much Prayer Warriors!
 
***Please keep Tracy’s family in prayer to get out of their abusive church.
 
***PRAISE REPORT: Ryan had his last chemo treatment and spinal tap just before Christmas. He is done with treatment and cancer -free! Thank you so much Prayer Warriors for keeping him in prayer all this time! And glory to God! Thank you Father!
 
***PRAISE REPORT: Little Ryan is doing very well and is cancer-free, praise the Lord. He has another three years of treatments ahead of him. Please continue to keep him and his family in your prayers. His family has also asked for special prayers for the other children who were in the cancer ward with Ryan and their families, some have not had such good news. Thank you so much Prayer Warriors! God is listening.
 
***Please keep Mindy in prayer. She is suffering from very serious surgical complications and is in need of a healing. Your prayers are very much appreciated.
 
***Please pray for our dear friends Scott and Kelly and their family. Their 5-year old son Ryan has been diagnosed with leukemia. He will be in the hospital far from home starting chemo this week. Please pray for a complete and perfect healing, and God’s strength, peace and freedom from the spirit of fear for all of them. Also in the midst of all they are going through, Ryan’s very loving parents have asked for prayer for Elsa, a little 3-year old girl he met in the hospital who also has leukemia, and her family as well. Please cover both families in prayers as their children go through treatment. Thank you so much Prayer Warriors, we are very grateful for your prayers.
 
***PRAISE REPORT: Several miracles have been wrought by our Lord including signals of distress from our dog which enabled Brother Frank to get treatment for a blocked artery in his heart before it caused a heart attack. He is recovering very well and all the glory goes to God! Thank you Father! We come to you in humble gratitude and give you praise. Please continue to pray for continued health, safety and protection from demonic attacks for me and my family, God bless you Prayer Warriors, thank you so much for keeping us covered in prayer as we get the devil mad by defying him and doing God’s work!
 
***PRAISE REPORT: The Lord has healed our sister of her breast cancer! It was completely removed during the surgery, did not spread, and chemotherapy is not needed. She was able to have targeted radiation treatments for 5 days instead of the usual 6 week course of radiation. Prognosis is excellent! Many thanks for all your prayers, they were greatly appreciated. Thank you Jesus and glory to God!
 
***PRAISE REPORT: Little Johnny and his Dad are both healing and doing very well after their kidney transplant. All the glory goes to God! Thank you Jesus!
***Please pray for Samantha and her son who has special needs, for protection and healing from narcissistic abuse.
 
***Please keep E. Vera and his family in prayer for protection from evil. Thank you very much Prayer Warriors.
 
***Please pray for Donna J. for freedom and protection from abuse. Thank you Prayer Warriors.
 
***Please pray for Elizabeth, Creta, and Tamara. Thank you Prayer Warriors!
 
***Urgent prayer request for Sister Marjie’s grandfather, who has just been diagnosed with stage 4 cancer. We are trusting in Jesus for a healing. Thank you Prayer Warriors and God bless you.
 
***Please pray for Lauren and her marital situation. Thank you Prayer Warriors and God bless you.
 
***Please keep the Rhodes Family in prayer for emotional healing and financial blessing. Your prayers are very much appreciated.
 
***Please pray for Travis for salvation and healing from abuse. Thank you so much, your prayers are greatly appreciated.
 
***Urgent prayer request for Little Johnny, a precious little boy who has been on dialysis for two years and is today undergoing a kidney transplant from his Dad. Please pray for a complete recovery for him and his Dad, and keep his whole family in prayer as they have been through so much. Thank you Prayer Warriors and God bless you!
 
***Please pray for our sister who just got a diagnosis of breast cancer, especially that upcoming tests will show it has not spread. Surgery is scheduled for Oct 7th, please pray that will go well too, and that God will be glorified with a complete healing. Thank you so much Prayer Warriors, your prayers are very much appreciated.
 
***Please pray for Danielle and Andrew who are going through a job loss situation, that the Lord will provide and open doors. Your prayers are greatly appreciated.
 
***Prayer is requested for Margaret who going through chemo for pancreatic cancer. She also has a disabled child. Thank you and God bless you Prayer Warriors.
 
***Please keep Sister Sheri in prayer for peace and freedom from abuse. Your prayers are greatly appreciated!
 
***Please pray for Sister Susan and her sister to break the yoke of bondage from past abuse. Thank you Prayer Warriors!
 
***Please keep Sister Cynthia in prayer for her current situation to be resolved. Thank you Prayer Warriors, your prayers are very appreciated.
 
***Prayer is requested for Sister Tina to achieve her freedom from abuse. Thank you Prayer Warriors.
 
***Prayer is needed for Sister Linda and her family and their situation. Many thanks to our Prayer Warriors for your anointed prayers!
 
***Please pray for Sister Linda to be protected from evil. Many thanks, your prayers are appreciated.
 
***Please pray for Sister Sandy and her situation. Your prayers are greatly appreciated.
 
***PRAISE REPORT: Brother Carlos has been reunited with his friend who he’s been searching for for 20 years. Great job Prayer Warriors and Thank You Jesus!
 
***Prayer is requested for Brother Carlos to find his friend. Thank you Prayer Warriors.
 
***Urgent prayer request for Lynette who is battling cancer. Her parents are very old and dear friends of Sister Renee and her family, please pray for a healing for Lynette and also keep her family in prayer. Thank you Prayer Warriors and God bless you!
 
***Please pray for Sister Adrienne for healing, wisdom, and peace. Thank you Prayer Warriors!
 
***Please pray for Linda and her sister who both have cancer. Thank you!
 
***Please keep Sister Katie in your prayers for her home situation and healing. Your prayers are very appreciated.
 
***Prayer is needed for Sister Kelley and her family for God’s hand on their situation. Thank you Prayer Warriors!
 
***Please pray for Sister Bridget and her family for healing and restoration. Your prayers are greatly appreciated.
 
***Please keep Sister Tanya’s family in prayer for deliverance from the enemy and evil, and especially her two young children for deliverance from an evil narcissistic relative. Please pray for protection and peace. Thank you Prayer Warriors.
 
***Please pray for Victor. He lost his mother at age 9, and now his father has suddenly passed away also. Victor is in the military and thank God was able to get home before his Dad died. Your prayers for Victor and his family are greatly appreciated.
 
*** Urgent Prayer Request for 9 year old Ariel, who is suffering from a violent high fever, neck, back, and head pain. She has been very sick for 4 days and might possibly have meningitis. Her family is waiting for test results. Please keep this sweet child in prayer for a full and speedy recovery and blessings on her and her family. Thank you Prayer Warriors, your prayers are very much appreciated.
 
***Please keep Sister Sally in prayer for discernment, a word of knowledge, and wisdom concerning a situation in her life which she needs to make a decision about. Thank you for your prayers.
 
***Please pray for Sister Deanne, who is going through a period of great turmoil and upheaval in her life. Your prayers for guidance, wisdom, and the Lord’s counsel are greatly appreciated.
 
***Please keep Debbie in your prayers for comfort, peace, and blessings. She needs a touch from the Lord. Thank you Prayer Warriors.
 
***Prayer is requested for Sister Jennie’s nephew. He is a Marine who has just been deployed. Please pray a hedge of protection around him so he returns safely to his loved ones. Thank you Prayer Warriors, we are very appreciative of your prayers and caring.
 
***PRAISE REPORT: Ida and Mike had some great news this week. They were told not only that Ida is a good candidate for a bone marrow transplant, but that there is every possibility it will control/cure her cancer for a long time. They were only praying for a little more time, but now God has granted them hope for much longer. Praise the Lord! Thank you so much Prayer Warriors for keeping Ida and Mike in prayer. Please don’t stop- prayer works! ***UPDATE: Ida has had her marrow transplant and is doing very well! Praise the Lord! Thank you Jesus! ****UPDATE: Ida is cancer-free, the bone marrow transplant worked! Praise the Lord! And thank you Prayer Warriors!
***Prayer is requested for Ida who is battling bone cancer. She is traveling to a well-known cancer hospital this week to see if she is a candidate for a bone marrow transplant which will buy her more time. Please keep her husband Mike and their family in prayer too. Your prayers are very appreciated.
 
***PRAISE REPORT: Brother Joe has been accepted into the lung transplant program at a well-known university hospital. Praise God for the wonderful news. Please continue praying- there is a 2-3 year wait to get on the transplant list. Thank you again Prayer Warriors.***UPDATE: Brother Joe has been told he’s not a candidate for a transplant due to other health issues. But his new doctors have some news drugs they’re going to try. Joe and his family are very relieved that these are very good drugs and stand a good chance of helping him. Please continue praying, God is working here!
 
***Please keep Brother Joe P. in prayer for healing in his body. He needs a lung transplant and his lung disease is affecting his kidneys and heart. Please pray that he will be able to get on the transplant list and the Lord will remove all obstacles and he will get his transplant quickly and be restored to good health. Thank you Prayer Warriors, we are very grateful for your prayers.
 
*** Please pray for Sister Taylor and the screen play she is writing. Pray for direction from the Holy Spirit and that she may hear his voice and that her screenplay will be pleasing to the Lord and accomplish his will.
 
***Please keep Sister Donna in your prayers for protection and peace and a touch from the Lord. Thanks Prayer Warriors, you’re prayers are very much appreciated.
 
***PRAISE REPORT: Sister K.’s kidneys have started working again. She is out of the hospital and her cancer did not come back! Praise God- He is so good! Thank you Jesus! And many thanks to all our Prayer Warriors for praying for Sister K.
 
***Urgent Prayer Request for Sister K. who has been hospitalized for kidney failure and a possible recurrence of cancer. Please keep her in prayer for a touch from the Lord and a full and complete healing. Thank you , Prayer Warriors, your prayers are very much appreciated.
 
***Please pray for salvation and deliverance for Moses. Thank you Prayer Warriors, your prayers are much appreciated!
 
***Please pray for a healing for Charlie. He has just gotten a terminal diagnosis and been told he has three months to live. He needs a miracle from the Lord. He is very grateful for your prayers.
 
***A Special Prayer Request goes out for all the Firemen, Police Officers, Emergency Squad members, and Good Samaritans who give so generously and risk their own lives and safety to help all of us. We are very grateful to you. May God bless you and keep you safe.
 
***Prayer is requested for all the helpless victims of animal cruelty. Dogs, cats, horses, and all the other animals are God’s creatures just like we are, and they suffer just like we do. Please pray for protection for the animals, and also for their rescuers.
 
***PRAISE REPORT: Update on my son’s friend who was diagnosed with colon cancer at age 23. The Lord has answered prayer and healed him! Praise God! He is cancer free, has become a police officer, and is getting married in a few months. His family and friends are overjoyed and very very thankful to the Lord and to all our Prayer Warriors. Thank you all so much!
 
***Please pray for Nicholas P. who has diabetes and has also just been diagnosed with Celiac Disease. Little Nicholas is only 5 years old and he and his family are going through very hard times trying to deal with his illnesses. They really need a touch from the Lord. Your prayers for all of them are very, very appreciated. Thank you, Prayer Warriors!
 
***Please pray for our Missionaries, who move themselves and their families to foreign countries and face many dangerous situations to spread the Word of God to the unsaved and win souls for Jesus. Let’s cover them in prayer for safety and protection and for a blessing on their ministries.
 
***Please pray for healing and deliverance for K.R. who is battling addictions and the results of an accident. He is grateful for your prayers.
 
***Please pray for all abused and neglected children and children of narcissistic, borderline, or mentally ill parents, especially those who manage to stay under the radar by hiding the abuse so that Child Protective Services cannot find out or so reports that are made cannot be proven. Many of these children suffer or are killed every year, and much of the abuse is mental or emotional and is almost impossible to prove. We need to pray that the truth will come out in all these cases so that the children can be protected.
 
***Please keep Sister D. Jones in prayer for urgently needed protection from abuse and a healing touch from the Lord. Your prayers are very appreciated.
 
***PRAISE REPORT: The Lord has delivered Sister Christina’s step-children out of the situation they were in. They are safe and sound. Praise God! And Thank You Prayer Warriors for covering these innocent children in prayer.
 
***PRAISE REPORT: Thank you Jesus for giving our son a great new job which he got against all odds after overcoming many obstacles by God’s grace. Thank you for financial blessings for both of our children. With God all things are possible! Thank you Holy Spirit for your counsel and many gifts! Thank you Heavenly Father for all you provide!
 
***Please pray for our sister who is going through a very hostile divorce after over 20 years of intense abuse. Her ex has turned her children against her and won’t let her see them. Court dates are approaching so please pray for victory. Our dear sister is heartbroken and in great need of prayer and to see God’s hand in all of this. Thank you Prayer Warriors, we are deeply grateful for your prayers.
 
***PRAISE REPORT: Ed went to the hospital today for his dangerous and very frightening heart procedure, but the doctors could not find anything wrong with his heart! The procedure was cancelled and he is home safe! Hallelujah! Only the Great Physician could have done this! We were praying earnestly though the night and this morning Ed was healed with no medical intervention! Glory to God and thanks be to our Lord and Savior Jesus! Ed and his family are very grateful for all your prayers! Thank you, Prayer Warriors, and God bless you!
 
***Please pray for Ed, who is having serious heart problems and will be hospitalized in two weeks for a procedure to try and remedy his illness. They are going to stop his heart and start it again, which is terrifying for him and his family. When he could not go to work because or his health, his boss of 16 years fired him, and then canceled his health insurance without telling him! So, instead of being able to concentrate on regaining his health, Ed is now worried about medical bills and where he might be able to get another job. He and his family are in great need of your prayers. Thank you and God bless you, Prayer Warriors!
 
***Urgent prayer is requested for Kevin who is a young man hospitalized with severe depression. Please pray for healing, strength, and peace. Your prayers are very much appreciated.

***Please pray for deliverance and salvation for Kelly and John.

***An urgent prayer request has been received. Please pray for the Lord’s protection for Sister Christina’s step-children. Thank you Prayer Warriors- we are very grateful for your prayers.
*** Prayer is requested for Jenny whose doctors discovered a mass in her brain while treating her for injuries from a car accident. Thank you for your prayers.
***Please keep Margaret & Abel in your prayers. They lost their 5-year old daughter to cancer. She was their only child and they are not able to have any more children. Please pray for the Lord’s comfort and healing touch for their broken hearts.
 
***PRAISE GOD!! HE IS SO WONDERFUL! This week two families were re-united! One joyful reunion was that we found my niece Franny! Not knowing where Franny was was such a hole in our hearts. We had not seen her in three years. I had asked you all to pray 9 months ago, and you were so kind to help us and take the time to lift our troubles to the Lord. And now God has answered our prayers! We spoke on the phone this week and Franny and her baby are fine. They only live 150 miles from us, so we hope to see them in person this summer, depending on her schedule. She was so overjoyed to have us back in her life, and we are so overjoyed to have her back in our lives. Because of your prayers, she has her only family back and my sons have their cousin back! Thank you so much dear Sisters and Brothers, for praying for us! Glory and profound gratitude to our Lord!
 
***Please keep Sister Sheila in your prayers for protection and peace.
 
***Please pray for the Lord’s protection for Sister Terry and Kenneth and for peace in their lives.
 
***My Testimony of Praise- As many of you know, in 2005 the enemy’s attacks on our family were relentless. The year started with our oldest son needing all four wisdom teeth pulled. In March, my husband fell off a ladder and broke his hip. The night after his surgery, our younger son was taken to the emergency room with food poisoning. He spent two days in the hospital and lost two weeks from work. My husband was in the hospital and rehab for three weeks and had a long, difficult recovery. One night I couldn’t swallow and had a lot of pain in my face and head. At first they thought I was having a stroke, but it turned out to be Bell’s Palsy, and my blood-pressure had skyrocketed. I was told the Bell’s Palsy would get worse and could last a year- but I went home and prayed, and it was better the next day. Hallelujah! Then in July, my husband had a heart attack, more surgery, and another long recovery. Shortly after that, our youngest son was again taken to the hospital, this time with chest pains. Thank God, it was only a pulled muscle in his chest. In the next few months, he needed minor surgery as well as two wisdom teeth pulled. Throughout the whole year, our two dogs had a total of seven surgeries between them, for cancer, torn ACL, dislocated knee, recurrent and painful hematoma in an ear, etc. We finished the year with another emergency room visit for our youngest son, who needed his appendix taken out. Later we found out it had ruptured, but the Lord spared him a serious infection.
 
Through every disaster, we trusted in the Lord and he pulled us through every one. We are all recovered now and doing fine, even our dogs. God is so good. The stress and fear can be overwhelming sometimes, but I can’t imagine going through it if I didn’t have my Father to lean on. Each and every situation we went through last year could have been so much worse, if it were not for Jesus protecting us every minute. By his grace alone do we stand! I just want to give all the glory and honor to God for his mercy in protecting me and my family. As we look back on that year from hell, we are so thankful that at least we are all here to look back on it! Thank you, Father! We praise you, Lord!
 
PLEASE LIFT THESE SISTERS, BROTHERS, AND MINISTRIES TO THE LORD IN PRAYER:
Manny Acevedo, Aahoo, A.J. and Son for salvation, Pastor Dave & Lynne Adams & Family, Sister Adrienne, Sister Aimee, Barbara Allan, Richard Allen, All Those in Service to the Lord, All Those With Sorrowful Hearts, All Victims of Abuse, Sister Anna, Sister Nancy A., American Association of Christian Counselors, Sister Amy & Brother Randy, Alison Andrews, Catherine Andrews, David Andrews, Hannah Andrews, Rachel Andrews, Shirley Andrews, Arlene’s brother for repentance and her parent for protection, John B. and his siblings, Sister Joyce Apolant, Apostolic Church of God, Ashley, Our Atmore Brothers, Brother David & Sister Theresa A., Amber B., Sister Josie B. & Family, Brother Steven B., Terri B. for healing, Baldwin Family, Rodney Ball, Sister Trina Ball & Family, April B., Michael Basche, The Basta Family, Sister Belinda, Jennifer Bell & Family, Bellini Family, Best Friends Animal Sanctuary, Betty, Betty C. & Family, Biblical Deliverance Ministries, Bill for deliverance and help in making better choices, Sister Bliss, Marsha & David Bowen, Dr. Bob & Family, Brandon, Brooke, Sister Eileen B., Elaine B. & Family, Louis B., Pamela B., Sister Bridget & Family, Broderick Family, Sister and Brother Bromley and Family, Bryanna, Kathy Bucceri, Kim & Duane Bullard & Family, Anthony Burger Family, Karen & Joe Burka & Family, Michelle C., Sister Rose C., Brother Phil C., Cafaro Family, Eileen Cajigas, Calvary Assembly of God, Cam’ron, Cam’ron’s Mom for financial blessing, The Cancer Foundation For The Hopeless, Sister Cara and her husband, Brother Carlos, Cartier Family, Cecilia, Cedar for deliverance & salvation, Charlie & Debby & Family, Chris Family, Charlie & Marie for salvation, Sister Barbara C. ,Chris, The Christian Life-Times, Christianwarfare.co.nz, Cilenti Family, Sister Carol C., Sister Mandy Clark & Baby Jeremiah, Neil & Taylor Clarke, Cline Family, Colleen, Cornerstone of Hope Ministries, Courtney, Costanza Family, Creta, Lindsay C., Sister Nancy Crook & Family, Crossroads Bible Institute, Cuttitta Family, Sister Cynthia, Daisy, Darlene & Jane, Daughters of the King Ministry, Pastor Dave & Family, Brother Jim Davis & Family, DeAnna, Deborah for her family situation and financial blessing, Sister Teri D. for healing her broken heart, Bob D., Sister Debbie, Delaportes Family, Demonbusters.com., The Dolezal Family, Ellen D. Jessy Dixon & Family, Sister Racheal D. & Family for healing and deliverance, Refugia E., Sarah E. for protection and healing from unrepentant narcissistic relatives, Edwards Family, Pastor Mary Elberfeld, Elizabeth, Judy E. and her Mom, Deanne E. & Angus, Elaine, Barbara & Bob English & Family, Eric for salvation, Sister Erin for protection and deliverance from abuse, Eric, Matthew Ervin, Brian E., Pastor Joe & Maryann Esposito & Family, Nancy F., Rose Marie F. and her son and their new life of freedom, Faith Tabernacle Missionary Baptist Church, Sister Faith for healing and financial blessings, Farrell Family, Bill & Ann Fleming, James Flynn, Dr. Rev. Annmarie & Elder Lefty Fontanez & Family, Ariel Floyd, Sister Kathy & Brother Frank Forbes & Family, The Ford Family, The Fratz Family, Frank for healing, Gloria & Bill Gaither Family & Friends, Full Foundation Pentecostal Church, Gates Family, Sister Rachel G., Celine Gallagher, Dave G., Jim G., Michele G., Tess G., Sister Christel Gast, Mark Gast, Gates Family for healings, Ginger for salvation, Shanen Giolet, Global Cause Network, Global Harvest Ministries, Sister Gina G., Rev. John Gravagna & Family, Laura G. for healing, Nick Graziano, Pastor Tim Greco, Henry D. Guerra, Sister Rachael G. and family, Sister H., Melissa H., Keith Hansen & Family, Harvest Mission Church, Harvest Vision Church, Hart Family, Harvest Christian Fellowship and the Harvest Crusade, Heaven’s Grocery Store Food Bank, Heidi for deliverance & salvation, Lee Heller & Family for comfort & salvation, Gabe Hernandez, Higher Ground Empowerment Center, Hill Family, Mary Ann & Al Hocke, The Hoekstra Family, Ruth & Gerald Hofford, Cindy & Gary Hogan & Michael, M. Hogan & Family, Our Holman Brothers, Rick H., David H.,Howard for salvation, Iglio Family, Rev. Richard Ing, Inside Journal, Irwin Family, Israel and his Mom Antoinette, Sister Donna J., Eleanor J. and Family, Katherine J., John Paul & Diane Jackson & Family, Ms. Jackson for salvation, Jackson for escape from evil, Bishop Jakes and Family, Jamarra, Linda Malik Naierobe Jamel, Jane’s grandchildren, Janis and her daughter for forgiveness and healing, Janice M., Ruth Jash, Jasmine for healing, Jayette, J.C. & Friends, Jensen Family, Jenn for healing, Jennifer from the UK for protection from bullying, Jesus 2U Ministry, Jesus Wept Ministry, Sister Jill, Jill and Abby, Joe & Family for salvation, Pastor Dexter Johnson & Family, James Johnson, Jonas Clark Ministries, D. Jones, Joshua, Joy & Frankie in the UK, Jubilee Christian Center, Judy for her family situation, Sister Kara, Kathy & Family for salvation, Kathy F. for healing, Sister Diane K., Lisa K. and her sons, Karen K., Pastor Paul Keehr & Family, Kelly & John, Colleen Kelly, Marty Kelly & Family, Kevin, Sister Kelley & Family, Kim and her children for protection from evil, Marie & Bob Kohler & Family, Kori for spiritual warfare, Kortni and family, Kraeling Family, Rose Marie Kreuder, Karen L., Brother Joe L., Julie L. for financial blessing and healing, Melissa L., Lake Hamilton Bible Camp, Lance for salvation, Ronald Leo LaRocco, Brenda L. for healing, Brother Chris L. , Sister Marilyn L., Lasher Family, Pastor Greg Laurie and Family, Sister Carol L. for healing, Lawry Family, Michelle Leberfinger, Lettermen Family, Light Learning Institute, Light of the World Missions, Lin, Sister Linda, Dr. Rev. R.J. & Rev. Sharen Lightsey, Lightsey Ministries, Sister Linda, The Lippolt Family, Lizzy, Lori and Son, Gary Lowe, Luke 17:3 Ministries, Becky M. & Family, Rose M., Cousin Mike Maguire, Mae, Maggie and her husband, Manuel for salvation, Marian, Sister Margaret and Family, Sister Marge for healing, Sister Marlana and her children, Mary Ann, Sister Mary H. Sister Marva & Family, Sister Mary for healing, Mason and his wife for protection and healing, Henry Masone, Richard Masone, The Master Commission, Angelita Mathews, Richard Matos & Family, Jack Matson, Kai Matson, Mauer Family, Sister May, Josef Mayer, Ryan McCormick & Family for healing, Ellen McCoy for healing, The McGovern Family, The McKee Family, Lou M. and Family, Brother Craig McLaren, McLaughlin Family, Jay Meehan, Lois Mellinger, Michele, Sister Michele, Mike for salvation, Millan Family, Frances Miller & Family, Harry Miller, K. Miller, Kevin Miller, Lucia Miller, Tish Miller, Eric Mitchell, Roe Mitchell, Tom Mitchell & Family, Sister Sheri M., The Montalban Family, Mya, Charla Nash and the Nash Family, Nashanti, Nealon Family, Sister Michele N., Nadia and Felicia, Sister Nikki, New Horizon Ministry, Lori N. and Family for healing and freedom from generational curses, Nicholas Ng’ang’a and his ministry, Nicholas N for healing of epilepsy, witchcraft, and generational curses, Noni for healing of blood cancer, Northway Family Christian Church, Nya, Oates Family, Bill Ober, O’Dell Family, Orville Mustard Seed & Oil Ministries, Our Men & Women in the Military, Sister S.P., Patricia for healing, Paula, Paulie, Marlene Pearl, Paula for protection and healing, Peggy and her children, Penny R., Penrod Family, Arnold Perez, Brother Robert P. for comfort on the loss of his friend, Sister Bonita P. for a word from the Lord on her ministry and life, Laurie Perkins & Family, Perry Family, Mary Lou & Chris Peterkin, Cat Phillips, Jimmy P. for protection, Chad & Christina P. & Family, Linda P. for God to bring good people into her life, Pastor Darrell Perkins and Family, Pittelli Family, Patty Plachinski and Family, Patricia, Prison Evangelical Outreach, Prisoner’s Web, Jenny Proffill, Brother Chad Prosser & Family, Linda P. for healing and a good job, Beth Ann R. for healing, Gisele R., Peggy R. and Family, Rachel and her Family, Radio Bible Class Ministries, Sister Ramona, Danielle and Andrew Raymond, Sister Tina R., Sister Eileen R., Sister Rebecca and her husband and children, Penny Redmond & Family, Sarah Rhodes and Family, Rhonda, B. & M. Richards and Family, Lynne Richards, Sister Nancy Richards, River of Life Deliverance Ministries, Dr. Carole Robeson, Joyce & Ken Rommel & Family, Linda & Bob Reichel, Reynolds Family, Gert Riggio for healing, Sister Laura R. & Family, Roberts Family, David & Cheryl Robertson, Rodriguez Family, Rohini and Hemant for freedom from oppression, Julie Lynn Rose & Family, M. Rose for protection and healing, Roseanna for healing, Pastor Ross D., & Family, Sister Laura R. and Family, Rossignol Family, Russell Family, Ruth and her sisters, Rich S. & Family, Barbara Sabia and Family, Frank S. & Family, Jan S. for protection and healing from unrepentant narcissistic relatives, Kevin S., T. Saitta & Family, Saldana Family for healing, Santos Family, Sam Schilling, Taylor Schilling, Jenn & Mike Schuettinger & Family, Raymond Schwenk, Katy & Ed Seeley & Family, Scott & Kelly Seeley & Family, Sister Sherry for healing and deliverance, Sherry’s family for deliverance, Sister Mallory Servello & Family, Shaffer Family, M. & G. Slywka & Family, L. & P. Smith & Family, Laura Smith, Selma Smith, Solid Rock Assembly of God, Carmen Soto, Felix Soto, Jr., Karen S., Severiana Soto, Sister Barbara Spencer, Spoken Word Deliverance Ministries, Lisa Sprenkle, Cathy S., Sister Sally S., Sister Sandy, Shakiya, Sister Sharen for counsel, wisdom, and protection, Sharon for financial blessing, Sister Susan and her sister, St. Paul UMC in Fayette MO, The Stallone Family, Stephanie, Suzie & Joe, Susan & daughters, ister Susan & Family for financial blessing, Susan for peace and healing, Suzie for salvation, Sister Sheila Sullivan, Debra S., Szczesny Family, Cheryle T. & Family, Amarn Taengsamut, Lenore Taormina & Family, The Circuit Rider, Tamara, Sister Tanya & Family, Pastor John Tether and Family, The Lord’s House of Prayer, Sister Karen T., Thomas Family, Sister Tiley, Tim for salvation, Timothy, Sister Pam T., Susan T. for protection and counsel, Heinrich Tischer, Tom for healing, Sister Tracey, Jesse Urena & Family, Dr. Sam Vaknin, Anna Valerious and Family, Jorge V., Velez Family, Vera Family, Ann Vespa & Family, Veterans of All Wars, Victor & Family, Viv and Family, Sister Vivian & Family, Vonnie & Family, Wanda’s daughter and grandchildren, George W. for salvation, Jimmy W., Diane Wallace, Kevin White & Family, William for salvation, Jennifer Williams & Baby Lara, Sister Paula Williams, Brother Peter & Sister Eileen Williams & Family, Sister Nancy Willis, Art Wilson, Willys Family Women of Substance Ministries, Becki W. for healing and peace, Sister Joan W., Mary W. for healing, Rebecca W. and family, Sharee W.
 
World Prayer Center, World Prayer Team, Sister Helen Worth & Family, Laura Wortman, Susanna Wright, Yngstrom Family, Ed Yule & Family, Zerga Family, Lucille Ziccardi, Jim Zwart.

Adult Child Abuse-The Only Abuse Still Accepted

Adult Child Abuse

 
THE ONLY FORM OF ABUSE STILL….
 
…TOLERATED BY SOCIETY
 
…ACCEPTED BY SOCIETY
 
…CONDONED BY SOCIETY
 
THE ONLY FORM OF ABUSE IN WHICH THE VICTIM IS….
…OPENLY DISCOURAGED FROM STANDING UP FOR HERSELF, TALKING ABOUT IT, OR REVEALING THE ABUSE TO OTHERS
 
…EXPECTED TO CONTINUE SUFFERING INDEFINITELY
 
…CRITICIZED FOR TRYING TO PROTECT HERSELF
 
…JUDGED FOR ESCAPING FROM HER ABUSER
 
THE ONLY FORM OF ABUSE IN WHICH IT IS CONSIDERED OKAY FOR A COMPETENT ADULT TO….
 
…BE CONTROLLED BY SOMEONE ELSE
 
…HAVE NO INDEPENDENCE OR RIGHT TO RUN HER OWN LIFE OR MAKE HER OWN DECISIONS
 
…BE HELD HOSTAGE TO THE WHIMS OR DESIRES OF ANOTHER
…HAVE NO FREEDOM OF CHOICE
 
CHILD ABUSE THAT DID NOT END WHEN ADULTHOOD BEGAN. THE CONTINUING VICTIMIZATION OF GROWN CHILDREN BY THEIR ABUSIVE OR CONTROLLING PARENTS, SIBLINGS, OR FAMILY MEMBERS .
 
SILENCE CONDONES ABUSE! THE TRUTH SHALL SET YOU FREE !

 

A Little About Us

 
In every asylum, there are always a few who don’t really belong there….
 
This website is dedicated with humble appreciation to all of our normal, loving family members and friends, with whom we shared so many good times, who gave us a ray of hope and an island of stability to cling to in the angry seas of our chaotic childhoods, who gave us the priceless gift of happy memories, who blessed our lives with their presence, and who have gone before us to that bright land where we’ll never grow old:
 
My Gramps Mike, Mama Rose, Nana Grace, Grandma Edna, Grandpa Edgar, Grandma Far-Away Lena, Grandma Maria, Cousin Tony, Aunt Florrie, Uncle Petey, Matty, Uncle Jimmy, Willie, Uncle Dick, Uncle Mario, Dotty, Uncle Lawrence, Aunt Lena, Cousin Rose, Aunt Eunice, Uncle Joe, and Godmother Marie.
 
You are greatly missed. Thank you. Until we meet again…..
 
And now, a little about us…..
 
Sister Renee Pittelli is a married mother of two grown sons, and a grandmother. She is 69 years old and has been saved for 49 years.
 
Sister Denise Rossignol is a married mother of one daughter and three sons, a grandmother, and an Air Force veteran. She is 54 years old and has been saved for 35 years.
 
We met at a church dinner 31 years ago and have been sisters ever since. We praise the Lord for bringing us and our families together.
 
We are ordinary women who love the Lord and have been called to serve him by sharing our testimony with you. Although we were not raised in the same household, we shared the same childhood. We had been abused, exploited and victimized by birth-relatives all our lives, and throughout our adulthoods, until the Lord gave us the wisdom, courage, and strength to change our situations. As we shared our testimony with other women, they, in turn, have told us their stories of pain, stress, and grief. On this site we will share what we have learned from our own experiences and the stories of other women as well.
 
Because Luke 17:3 Ministries ministers to adult women who are being abused on an ongoing basis, our focus will be emotional abuse, rather than physical or sexual abuse. This is for the simple reason that, while many of us have been physically or sexually abused as children, so far no one has shared with us a story of being victimized in this way by their birth-family as an adult. That is not to say it doesn’t happen, only that we have little to share with you about physical or sexual abuse of adults within the scope of our experiences. So most of what you read here will be about emotional, psychological, verbal, or spiritual abuse.
 
***When we refer to abusive or controlling “birth-families”, we mean the family who raised you, and who was supposed to love and protect you. This includes adoptive, step-, and foster families.
 
As you are reading, you may feel a little overwhelmed at times. It can be very draining as you start to learn about and process these testimonies and your own victimization. We encourage you to read a little at a time, and then take a break and come back to it. Sometimes it’s a lot to absorb all at once.
 
All who visit this site do so with the understanding that we are not psychologists or professional counselors. Though we have much in common, each of our situations is unique in its own way. Before acting on any ideas you may find on this site, we strongly urge you to discuss your individual circumstances with your pastor or therapist, and to earnestly pray to the Holy Spirit for wisdom and guidance in making decisions about your own relationships.
 
This site is a work in progress, and will be added to periodically as we wait on direction from the Lord., Please visit us often to see what’s new. When you click on a section name on the left menu, you will be shown a list of articles included in that section. If you would like to see the full titles of articles before reading them, please use the Index Of Articles And Announcements page (6th from the top on the left menu).
 
I would also like to invite you to join us on facebook, where we have a very active page with many helpful posts and discussion. Please search for Luke 17:3 Ministries there.
 
ALL ARTICLES ON THIS SITE ARE COPYRIGHTED. PERMISSION IS GRANTED TO COPY FOR NON-PROFIT USE ONLY. Please help yourself to anything we have written if you can use it to help someone else. A link back to our website is our only requirement.
 
Please contact us at any time as we love to hear from you. Pray that the Lord uses us to encourage you according to his will. God bless you in your search for peace and happiness.
 
Dear Sister,
 
Have you been abused by a birth-parent, sibling, or other relative, and has this abuse continued into your adulthood? Have you been controlled, manipulated, criticized, insulted, humiliated, betrayed, or abandoned by someone you loved? Have you been called names, screamed at, shouted at, or ordered around? Do you have a relative who intrudes and pries into your life and tells you what to do? Do you have a one-way relationship, with you doing all of the giving and none of the receiving? Are unreasonable demands or expectations placed upon you? Does your birth-family expect unquestioned obedience, even though you are now an adult? Have you been threatened with being disowned, cut out of the family or out of the will? Have you been lied to, lied about, gossiped about, cheated, or even stolen from by a family member? Have you been sabotaged, undermined, disrespected, demeaned, degraded, or the target of jealousy or envy from a parent or sibling? Have you been asked or pressured to lie, cover up, keep family secrets or do anything else you are uncomfortable with? Are you always taking care of others at your expense, while your needs are constantly ignored? Have your husband or children been hurt by or witnessed abuse from your relatives?
 
Have you tried to set boundaries with your relative, only to have him refuse to accept responsibility, deny, blame you, or escalate his abuse? Have you felt it necessary to limit or avoid contact with this person in order to protect yourself, your husband, or your children? Were you put in the difficult position of having to confront a sick or elderly relative? When you began standing up for yourself, did your family member stop speaking to you rather than stop abusing you?
 
Have you been criticized, judged, betrayed, or abandoned by other family members for finally standing up for yourself? Do other relatives justify, rationalize, or even defend the abuser’s behavior? Did these same people tolerate and accept the abuser’s behavior, standing by silently while you were victimized, possibly for many years, and now the only disapproval they have ever voiced is aimed at you, for trying to protect yourself?
 
Sister, for those of us who have been raised in this kind of family, surrounded by abusive relatives and their enablers our whole lives, this combination circus / horror show atmosphere can seem almost normal. Yet when we read these words in black and white, we are shocked by how bad it actually sounds. Those who have normal, loving families find it difficult to understand the distress, anxiety, and heartache we have lived with.
 
At first I did not understand the reasons why I lived through 47 years of control, abuse, and neglect by my birth-family, only to be cut off entirely when, in an effort to protect myself from the serious stress-related health problems I was developing, I finally started to set some limits. The pain of knowing they did not care about how their behavior was affecting me, and the anger and grief of their abandonment, after all I had done for them, was very traumatic. But in Romans 8:28, we are told, ‘And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him.’ It has taken me several years to begin to understand the depth of the meaning of that scripture in my life. At first, I only noticed how much better my life truly was without my abusive relatives. I felt relief at not having to deal with evil people all the time. I began to feel peace in my heart, and joy at my new-found freedom.
 
But, more importantly, my relationship with our Father grew greatly. When I was no longer in bondage to people I thought I needed to have in my life, I was able to appreciate and seek a much deeper relationship with the Lord. I have learned to tell him what is in my heart and to lean on him, and he has always gotten me through and never let me down. He has been with me every minute of my life, even when I didn’t know it. His vast love for his children is beyond our ability to comprehend.
 
I want to assure you that you are not alone,and no matter what happens in your relationships with your birth-family members, you will never be without a family. You are a beloved sister in the family of God. You have the most wonderful parent there ever was, the only parent you will ever need. ‘And do not call anyone on earth ‘father’, for you have one Father, and he is in heaven.'(Matthew 23:9NIV) You are his child, his treasured daughter, and he loves you! He will cherish you, protect you, comfort you, forgive you, teach you, and care for you. He knows what you need before you ask him (Matthew 6:8). He will never leave you nor forsake you (Deut.31:6, Joshua 1:5). He will provide for your every need.
 
He has sent his beloved Son, Jesus, to teach you his Word, to save you by his precious blood, and to open the gates of heaven for you, so that you will spend eternity with him in glory! Jesus is our King and Lord, but he is also your brother (Mark 3:35, Matthew 12:50) and your friend (John 15:14-16). By the grace of the Lord Jesus will you stand, no matter what comes against you (Hebrews 13:5-6)! You do not even have to worry about how to defend yourself, or what to say, for the Holy Spirit will give you the words you need at the right time (Luke 12:11-12).
 
Our God is faithful and his grace is sufficient for all our needs! Praise his holy name! My prayer for you is that you will come to know your real Father in a deep and meaningful way, and that he will abundantly bless your life with the peace, joy, and love that only he can provide. GLORY TO GOD!
 
In His love,
Sister Renee

 

Index of Articles and Announcements

 
PLEASE SCROLL DOWN FOR INDEX~
 
Don’t miss Sister Renee’s new book Narcissistic Confrontations: A Biblical Guide to Your Abusive Family and Church Family’s Battle Tactics, Covert Operations, and Nuclear Meltdowns. You can find it and read a full description on Amazon HERE, Barnesandnoble HERE, or read the book’s webpage HERE. It is also available in Kindle, Nook and e-book format. We pray that it blesses you mightily!
 
April 2013~ We are thrilled to announce that we have reached ONE MILLION HITS on our site. Thank you Jesus! And thank you to all who pass our website along to others. God bless you!
 
If you are blessed with what you read on this site and are looking for some extra support and encouragement, please join us on facebook! See you there!
 
***In just the first week of January 2013, we had over 9000 hits on our site! This means the Christmas season was especially stressful for many of us. Now that the holidays are over, many of us regret including our abusive relatives in what should have been a nice celebration. Are you looking for different holiday ideas for the future? This is Sister Renee’s latest interview with Stacy Lynn Harp and Randall Harp of Active Christian Media. We talk about managing holiday depression and dealing with toxic families, and give some helpful tips for holidays such as Easter and Mother’s Day as well as Christmas and Thanksgiving~ Click here to listen. Hope you enjoy it and find it helpful 🙂
 
This great post from our Sister Jenni really sums up how so many of us feel during the holiday season. Many thanks to Jenni for sharing her feelings with us and putting it into words so perfectly~
 
I hear you all on the holiday grief. For some reason this year I feel a bit frozen… In the past I have felt really angry/sad because my kids don’t have reasonable grandparents, we have very little family to have any kind of traditions with. I just feel like Christmas is coming WAY too soon and I’m not emotionally ready for it. I want to hit the ‘ignore’ button. Which probably means I’m shoving something under. Maybe multiple things under. I feel like I’m just going through the motions and I really don’t care, don’t feel like dealing with a tree, or lights, or any of the usual fun stuff. I don’t really care that my family sucks and husband’s family sucks and husband sucks a lot of the time. I’m just tired.
 
I’m tired of being the responsible one. I’m tired of being the one who cares, who thinks, who motivates. I’m tired of having people ask me to do things they are clearly capable of doing themselves. I’m tired of ‘helpless’ narcissistic people. I’m tired of going to stores and looking over my shoulder for crazy family. I’m tired of being the one they accost rather than their own son. I’m tired of hearing that my mother is lying about me, about what I said, about what she said, about what she did. I’m tired of my husband’s family lying about me, about who I am, about what I am, about what I have said, about what I believe, about who they are, about what they have said. I’m tired of stupid people’s stupid excuses for the mean and nasty things they do and say. I’m tired of having to explain to my kids that just because we are surrounded by Ns in our family does NOT mean the rest of the world should be viewed with suspicion. I’m tired of worrying that my kids will grow up to be like the N family. I’m tired of being so exhausted I can’t do the things I truly enjoy. I’m just flippin tired.
 
Wow… I did NOT know all that was in my head.
 
Jenni
 
***For some holiday encouragement and helpful suggestions, check out our Happier Holidays section. After you click this link and the page opens, look on the left menu under the “Happier Holidays” heading and you will find a drop down menu with some additional holiday articles you can click and read.
 
***DON’T MISS THESE 3 GREAT RADIO INTERVIEWS WITH SISTER RENEE~
 
***Sister Renee’s interview on 7/19/2011 with Stacy Lynn Harp of Active Christian Media. Stacy, Randall and I talk about wrongful church teachings on evil,unmerited forgiveness, victim’s reactions,etc. Includes 3 clips from In The Market with Janet Parshall interviewing Neil Anderson as they respond to callers who need help. We really get into some meaty subjects! Don’t miss our discussion on Luke 23:34 “Father forgive them for they know not what they do!” Many thanks to Stacy and Randall for another great interview 🙂
 
***Another great interview with Sister Renee and Stacy Lynn Harp of Active Christian Media- This time we cover topics like restitution, abuser’s funerals, setting limits, circular arguments, “personality disorders”, N’s abandonment issues, etc. Many thanks to Stacy Lynn and ACM. Click here for the podomatic link. Enjoy and share please 🙂
 
***Check out Sister Renee’s interview with Stacy Lynn Harp of Active Christian Media. They talk about narcissistic families, forgiveness without repentance, Sister Renee’s book Breaking the Bonds of Adult Child Abuse including excerpts, and much more. Click here for the blogtalkradio link and here for the podomatic link. Many thanks to Stacy Lynn Harp and Active Christian Media, and praise the Lord!
 
***We are thrilled to announce the release of Sister Renee’s new book “Breaking the Bonds of Adult Child Abuse: A Biblical Textbook on Abusive Narcissistic Families, How They Operate, And How To Deal With Them”. It’s 650 pages jam-packed with help, information and scriptural references. You can click here for the book’s webpage for details and an e-book version, or go directly to barnesandnoble.com or amazon.com to order it in paperback or Kindle. Thank you everyone for all your prayers and encouragement, we are praying that this book will bless you mightily. Thank you Lord!
 
Looking for a great present for that special someone ? Wrap up a copy of Narcissistic Predicaments or The Family Freeloader. The perfect gift for your husband, wife, sister, brother, friend, or anyone who is trying to deal with a narcissistic family 🙂

***Like us? Visit our facebook page and “like” us, and voice your opinions on our facebook discussions about narcissists, abuse, and survival. To all who ask for advice, we are sorry we cannot provide it on an individual basis or refer you to a counselor (other than the Holy Ghost!) but we hope you’ll find support and encouragement on our facebook page- See you there!

We are thrilled to announce Sister Renee’s book “Narcissistic Predicaments: A Biblical Guide for Navigating the Schemes, Snares, and No-Win Situations Unique to Abusive Families“-now available on Amazon and BarnesandNoble.com. Click here for the Amazon listing. Click here for the Barnesandnoble.com listing. Click here for the Kindle edition or here for the Narcissistic Predicament’s webpage. Thank you so much everyone for your prayers and patience, we pray that this book will bless you and help you with the dilemmas you are facing because of your abusive relatives. Thank you, Lord!
 
DON’T MISS SISTER RENEE’S BOOK “THE FAMILY FREELOADER- A BIBLICAL ANSWER FOR SOB STORIES, CON GAMES, AND NEVER HAVING TO GET OFF THE COUCH” – AN EXPANDED VERSION OF OUR ARTICLE FEATURING EVEN MORE FREELOADER TESTIMONIES, SCAMS AND TACTICS AND 21 WAYS TO SPOT A CON, IT’S AVAILABLE ON AMAZON AND BARNESANDNOBLE.COM. CLICK HERE FOR THE KINDLE EDITION. CLICK HERE FOR THE FAMILY FREELOADER WEBPAGE AND ORDERING INFORMATION.               
 
***PLEASE review these books on Amazon and BarnesandNoble after you read them. You would be helping us a great deal! Thank you so much.
***Thank you from the bottom of our hearts to everyone who posted links to our site or mentioned it on your sites, blogs, articles, chat groups and boards over the last year. We had 449,181 hits in 2013! God bless you for helping us minister to those who are hurting. Please keep spreading the word of freedom in truth and our Father’s love for HIS children!***
 
When my father and my mother forsake me,
then the Lord will take me up……..Psalm 27: 10 KJV
 
“Therefore, in the present case I advise you: Leave these men alone! Let them go! For if their purpose or activity is of human origin, it will fail. But if it is from God, you will not be able to stop these men; you will only find yourselves fighting against God”….Acts 5: 38-39
“When people show you who they are, believe them”…Maya Angelou.
 
Leonard- “You can catch more flies with honey than vinegar.”
Sheldon- “You can catch even MORE flies with manure. What’s your point?”
……from The Big Bang Theory
 
“Listen! And understand! That terminator is out there. It can’t be bargained with! It can’t be reasoned with! It doesn’t feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop, ever, until you are dead!”…..Kyle Reese, The Terminator, 1984
Do you think you understand how a psychopath thinks? Here’s a riddle for you:
A young woman is at her mother’s funeral. There she meets a man she’s never seen before. They talk for awhile and she feels an instant connection to him- it’s love at first sight. He’s everything she’s ever wanted in a man. She could easily see herself spending the rest of her life with him. She can’t believe she’s finally found her Prince Charming! The only problem is, she doesn’t get his name or number before he leaves.
Two weeks later, she kills her sister.
Why?
Take some time to think about it, and then scroll down for the answer.
 
 

Our Father’s Promises To Us

And I heard a great voice out of heaven saying, Behold, the tabernacle of God is with men, and he will dwell with them, and they shall be his people, and God himself shall be with them, and be their God. And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away. And he that sat upon the throne said, Behold, I make all things new….Revelation 21: 3-5 KJV.

Check back next week for another Promise from God……

 

 
ANNOUNCEMENTS:
 
***WOW***~over ***ONE MILLION*** hits! Our site has been logged onto from 223 countries and translated into 37 languages! Please keep posting us on your groups, blogs and boards. We are reaching more and more survivors every day! Praise the Lord! All the glory goes to him!
 
Welcome and peace to our friends in The United States, Canada, England, Wales, Scotland, Ireland, Northern Ireland, Australia, Spain, Germany, Kenya, South Africa, Norway, Philippines, France, Trinidad & Tobago, Ivory Coast, Guam, Sweden, South Korea, Chile, Brazil, Bangladesh, Poland, India, Croatia, Fiji, Slovakia, Netherlands, Israel, New Zealand, Malaysia, Taiwan, Mexico, Belgium, Japan, French Guiana, St. Lucia, Greece, Hong Kong, Antigua & Barbuda, Kuwait, Denmark, Italy, Nigeria, Egypt, Eritrea, Suriname, Portugal, Peru, Turkey, Bulgaria, Switzerland, Ghana, United Arab Emirates, Puerto Rico, Singapore, Iran, Seychelles, Barbados, Czech Republic, St. Kitts & Nevis, Vietnam, Pakistan, Thailand, Lithuania, Benin, Cyprus, US Virgin Islands, Hungary, British Virgin Islands, Togo, Bermuda, Finland, Moldova, Aruba, Saudi Arabia, Panama, Dominican Republic, Iraq, Uganda, The Bahamas, Jamaica, Sri Lanka, Indonesia, China, Russia, Argentina, Malta, Serbia, Slovenia, Qatar, Senegal, Oman, Lebanon, Romania, Kazakhstan, Jordan, Burundi,Tanzania, Haiti, Austria, Namibia, Saint Vincent and The Grenadines, Anguilla, Malawi, Ethiopia, Ecuador, Zimbabwe, Mauritius, Cape Verde, Zambia, Ukraine, Estonia, Latvia, Morocco, Guyana,Venezuela, Cambodia, Colombia, Honduras, Netherlands Antilles,Yemen, Bolivia, Northern Mariana Islands, Saint Lucia, Iceland, Belarus, Nepal, Costa Rica, Mozambique, Botswana, Dominica, Bosnia and Herzegovina,Gibraltar, Jersey,Tunisia,The Faeroe Islands, Azerbaijan, Burkina Faso, Mongolia, Brunei, Granada, Sudan, Syria, Cayman Islands,Georgia, Lesotho, Angola, Libya, Cameroon, Montenegro, Algeria, Bahrain, Isle of Man, Guatemala, the Marshall Islands, El Salvador, Iceland, Luxembourg, Papua New Guinea, the Solomon Islands, Albania, Bhutan, Maldives, Afghanistan, Mauritania,Cuba, Uganda, Armenia,Gambia, Belize,Guadeloupe, Macedonia, French Polynesia, Myanmar (Burma), Paraguay, Rwanda,Cook Islands, Swaziland, Laos, Monaco, New Caledonia, Guernsey, Liechtenstein, the Palestinian Territories, Somalia, Nicaragua, Sierra Leone, Kyrgyzstan, Gabon, Swaziland, Madagascar, Andorra, Uzbekistan, New Caledonia,Turks and Caicos Islands, Congo, Micronesia, Macau, Andorra, Reunion, Curacao, Cook Islands, Niger, Djibouti, Martinique, Liberia, Sint Maarten, Kosovo,Vanuatu, Palestine, Samoa,Turkmenistan, and South Sudan.
 
The Lord said, “Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by.” Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper. When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave…………1 Kings 19: 11-13 NIV
 
And if any place will not welcome you or listen to you, shake the dust off your feet when you leave, as a testimony against them…..Mark 6:11
 

Jerry: Marriage is a big step, Elaine. Your life’ll totally change.

Elaine: Jerry, It’s three-thirty in the morning. I’m at a cockfight. What am I clinging to?

…………Seinfeld, The Little Jerry, 1/9/97
WHY are you sticking around, or coming back for more??? Great article and checklist on Traumatic Bonding with abusers and psychopaths:
 
*** If you’re ready to make some life changes and looking for a new direction, please check out 5 Successful Ways to Stay Depressed by my dear friend Stacy Lynn Harp of Active Christian Media, who also has an extensive background as a marriage and family therapist. A great value, you get both the audio and e-book for $5, filled with wisdom and humor. You’ll love Stacy as much as I do! Enjoy! Love and blessings, Sister Renee
 
***Christian writer Cynthia Bailey-Rug is compiling an e-book which will be available free-of-charge on her website for people who have been abused and overcome their pain, or are in the process of overcoming their pain, by the grace of our Heavenly Father. She is looking for testimonies from survivors. If you would like your story to be considered for inclusion in her book, you can find more information by clicking here.
 
***Don’t miss the wonderful website Light’s House. It’s chock full of great articles and resources on Toxic Parents,the things they do, and how to deal with them. I highly recommend the section on Reducing Contact, especially Light’s step-by-step guide and resources for protecting yourself when your abusive parent will not leave you alone. CLICK HERE to visit this very helpful site.
 
***Check out this wonderful interview on forgiveness with David Augsburger, Professor of Pastoral Care at Fuller Theological Seminary. CLICK HERE to read or listen.
 
****FOR ARTICLES ON FINALLY CHANGING YOUR HOLIDAYS FOR THE BETTER, VISIT OUR ‘HAPPIER HOLIDAYS’ SECTION.
 
***Click here to check out Adult Children of Dysfunctional Families for some great articles, websites, books, and other rescources.
 
****WHY DO DESTRUCTIVE NARCISSISTIC RELATIVES JUST LOVE TO RUIN OUR HOLIDAYS??? FOR THE EYE-OPENING UNVARNISHED TRUTH, READ DR. SAM VAKNIN’S RIVETING ARTICLE ‘A HOLIDAY GRUDGE’:
 
****For a healthy dose of common sense, don’t miss Anna Valerious’ wonderfully well-written, educational, and intriguing blog Narcissists Suck. CLICK HERE.
 
****Ever hear the “I’m Not Perfect” excuse for abuse? Is it “I’m not perfect”, or should it really be “I’m just plain evil”? Don’t miss this great analysis and blog by Soaring Dove- CLICK HERE.
 
****Check out the Characteristics of Narcissistic Mothers by clicking HERE.
 
****Don’t miss this wonderfully educational and healing resource whose motto is “The Pain Stops Here” (PLEASE NOTE: This is a secular forum, not a Christian forum)- Daughters Of Narcissistic Mothers.com. CLICK HERE.
 
***ANSWER TO PSYCHOPATH RIDDLE: She reasons that if he was at her mother’s funeral, he must be a friend of the family. So, if there’s another family funeral, maybe he’ll show up again……
 
Did you get it wrong? Well, don’t feel bad. You don’t think like a psychopath, but until now you also didn’t understand how they think. At least now you know what you’re up against.
 
****Many thanks and blessings to our dear Sister Pavitra for allowing us to post her original poem “A Poem To My Family Of Origin” on our site. It is an inspiring poem of victory over abuse and triumph over evil. You can find it in our Claiming The Victory section or just click on the link above. May you be blessed by it as we have been.
 
***Thank you so much to all who have posted our website on your blogs and chat groups. Because of you taking the time to help others, you have made it possible for us to help others as well. It is so uplifting to know that so many are standing up for what is right and taking a stand against abuse. We are so grateful for you and we remember you always in our prayers. Keep spreading the word, and God bless you. With much love, Sisters Renee & Denise
***Many thanks to Dr. Sam Vaknin, author of the book ‘Malignant Self-Love- Narcissism Revisited’ and well-known for his extensive studies on narcissistic abuse and how to deal with it, for publicizing our website on his sites, and for sending us numerous links to his own websites and others so we could add them to our links page. Click on The Lord’s Links and check out these very educational sites.
 
***Are you the Black Sheep of your family? If so, Dr. Angela Woodhull would like to interview you for her new book, ‘EVERY FAMILY NEEDS A BLACK SHEEP.’ Dr. Woodhull is a psychologist, minister, teacher, private investigator, journalist and author of numerous articles and books, including ‘Coping With Difficult Teachers’, ‘Private Investigation Strategies & Techniques’, and ‘Police Communication in Traffic Stops’. If you are interested in participating, you can call Dr. Woodhull at 352 332-0514 and reverse the charges. You can also write to her at PO Box 14423, Gainesville, FL 32604-2423, or e-mail her at chachaangelina@yahoo.com.
 
Great article on ‘honoring’ abusive parents from Christianity Today:
 
***BY POPULAR DEMAND, we have added a section of resources for DELIVERANCE & SPIRITUAL WARFARE to our links page. Please click on THE LORD’S LINKS.
 
*** Don’t forget to click on our Prayer List and remember our sisters and brothers in your prayers. You can send us any names you would like to add at luke173@hotmail.com or PO Box 684, Chestertown, NY 12817. You must include your full name although it will not be published. We will pray for everyone , not just abuse victims. And, YES, you can add yourself!
 
***If you have a question or a topic relating to birth-family abuse that you would like us to write about in the future, please e-mail us. We are always grateful for new ideas. If the Lord directs us to write about your topic, your name will not be published as we are committed to protecting your privacy. All requests will be prayerfully considered and we ask for your prayers as well as we wait on the Lord’s word.
DON’T MISS OUR BOOK REVIEWS IN THE READING SPOTLIGHT SECTION!

 

NEW ARTICLES:

 
 
 

SECTION INDEX:

 
#We’ve made it easier for you to read our own personal stories. Articles containing our testimonies are marked with a #. God bless, Sister Renee & Sister Denise
These articles (titled in bold below) are currently available in the following sections (underlined). You can click on the articles directly from this index, or If you click on the title of each Section on the left menu, you will then be able to click on the articles in that Section.
 
ADULT-CHILD ABUSE- THE ONLY ABUSE STILL ACCEPTED:
ONLINE OPINION POLL: TELL US YOUR THOUGHTS!
A LITTLE ABOUT US:
CURRENT NEWSLETTER & PAST NEWSLETTERS:
 
***For Links to Past Newsletters, please click on the Newsletter link on the left menu and links to all the past newsletters will appear underneath it.
 
BIRTH-FAMILY ABUSES OF ADULT DAUGHTERS:
 
WHY THEY ABUSE, BETRAY, OR ABANDON YOU:
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

 

 

 

 
(5)COFFEE-JOH
 

Now may the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times and in every way. The Lord be with all of you.

 
 
 
 

Then God said, “Let us make man in our image, in our likeness, and let them rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air, over the livestock, over all the earth, and over all the creatures that move along the ground.” Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”  But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.”

For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline. Surely he took up our infirmities and carried our sorrows, yet we considered him stricken by God, smitten by him, and afflicted. God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God. May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies

And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him. “I tell you the truth, whoever hears my word and believes him who sent me has eternal life and will not be condemned; he has crossed over from death to life. Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, We all, like sheep, have gone astray, each of us has turned to his own way; and the LORD has laid on him the iniquity of us all. Peter replied, “Repent and be baptized, every one of you, in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins. And you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit.

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.  Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.

 

About Us ·  Ministries · Community ·  Give  · Contact     

 

YOU CAN CLICK ON ARTICLES UNDER THIS HEADING ON THE LEFT MENU.

“When people show you who they are, believe them”….Maya Angelou

An abusive birth-relative is most often a parent, but can also be a sibling, grandparent, cousin, aunt or uncle. When we refer to abusive, controlling, or abandoning “birth-families”, we mean the family who raised you, and who was supposed to love, protect, and cherish you. This includes adoptive, step-, and foster families.

There are a number of behaviors that can be considered abusive, but we often don’t think of them in that way simply because we have been raised experiencing these behaviors from a relative that we have known all of our lives, and we think of his behavior as normal, because it is all we have ever known from him.

Because we love this person, we tend to overlook his behavior. We have also been trained since childhood to ignore or make excuses for the abuse by other relatives who are in denial or who protect the abuser (see The Silent Partner). A family member’s bad childhood, background, war experiences, alcoholism, personality disorders, psychological problems, etc., may help us to understand him, but should never be used as an excuse to justify his mistreatment or abuse of others. Whether he chooses to get help for his issues or not, he does not have the right to inflict them on anyone else.

We sometimes don’t understand that we are really being abused until we compare our family relationships with someone else whose family does not behave in an abusive or controlling manner.

Any behavior which attempts to control you is abuse, simply because adults do not control other adults. When any given behavior causes you stress on a regular basis or begins to undermine your self-esteem, it has crossed the line into abuse.

Here are some examples of abusive behavior. Please e-mail us any others you can think of so we can add them to our list.

Criticism Manipulation Humiliation Betrayal Insults

Undermining self-confidence Guilt-Trips Name-calling

Disrespecting Intruding Unreasonable expectations

Treating you like a child Telling you what to do Unloving

Demeaning Not respecting your privacy Lying Stealing

Judgmentalism Raising voice at you Trying to bribe you

Threatening Disowning Making demands Sabotage

Expecting ‘obedience’ from you even though you are now an adult

Pressuring Snide comments Abandoning Giving orders

Inappropriate anger Frequent rudeness

Expecting you to take care of them or solve their problems

Expecting you to sacrifice for them while ignoring your needs (one-way relationship)

Instigating trouble between family members Selfishness

Prying Pressuring you to lie, cover up, or keep family secrets

Picking fights Screaming Belittling Sarcasm Using you

Complaining about you to others Denial Taking advantage

Whining or using tears to get own way The Silent Treatment

Making scenes in public or in front of your children

Pressuring you to take sides with them against other relatives

Blaming you for whatever they’re unhappy about

Blaming you or others for whatever they do wrong

Insensitivity Inconsideration Hurtfullness Uncaring

Minimizing your feelings Nastiness Belligerence Cruelty

Making you doubt your perceptions Pouting Gossiping

Negative remarks about your weight, appearance, etc.

Transferring their abuse to your spouse when you get married, rejecting your spouse

Competing with your spouse

Trying to make an ally of your spouse, smothering your spouse with love to make you look crazy and turn him against you later on!

For more examples of abusive behavior, check out these lists:

bullyeq- Strange Psycho Behaviour

bullyeq- Abuse You May Not Realise

For more on birth-family abuse of adult daughters, please see the Sections on Happier Holidays, The Abuser’s Reaction to Rebuke, The Silent Partner, Why They Abuse, Abandon or Betray You, The Effects of Abuse, A Little About Us, Repenting & Apologies, Reprobates & Cutting Ties, Adult Child Abuse-The Only Abuse Still Accepted, Claiming the Victory, and Setting & Enforcing Limits & Boundaries, as well as the books reviewed in Reading Spotlight (especially Toxic Parents and Children of the Self-Absorbed ). God bless you, dear Sister, in your search for peace.
 
 
 
 
 

YOU CAN CLICK ON ARTICLES UNDER THIS HEADING ON THE LEFT MENU.

 

A MAN’S ENEMIES WILL BE THE MEMBERS OF HIS OWN HOUSEHOLD…..Matthew 10:36 NIV

 

CONSIDER IT PURE JOY, MY BROTHERS, WHENEVER YOU FACE TRIALS OF MANY KINDS, BECAUSE YOU KNOW THAT THE TESTING OF YOUR FAITH DEVELOPS PERSEVERANCE. PERSEVERANCE MUST FINISH ITS WORK SO THAT YOU MAY BE MATURE AND COMPLETE, NOT LACKING ANYTHING…..James 1:2-4 NIV

 

BELOVED, THINK IT NOT STRANGE CONCERNING THE FIERY TRIAL WHICH IS TO TRY YOU, AS THOUGH SOME STRANGE THING HAPPENED UNTO YOU: BUT REJOICE, INASMUCH AS YE ARE PARTAKERS OF CHRIST’S SUFFERINGS; THAT, WHEN HIS GLORY SHALL BE REVEALED, YE MAY BE GLAD ALSO WITH EXCEEDING JOY….1 Peter 4:12-13 KJV

 

GLORY TO GOD! SISTERS, WHENEVER YOU WONDER ‘WHY?’, AND YOU ARE THINKING AND SEEING WITH WORLDLY EYES, DO NOT LOSE SIGHT OF THE BIG PICTURE – GOD’S PICTURE! GOD IS ALWAYS IN CONTROL! PRAISE HIS WONDERFUL NAME!

 

Nowhere in the Bible are we instructed to ‘psychoanalyze’ offensive/abusive people. We are not told in the Scriptures to try and ‘understand’ why our abuser behaves as she does. We are not told to excuse her abuse because she herself was an abused child, she has ‘issues’, low self-esteem, “personality disorders”, etc., etc. Instead, we are taught how to respond to abuse, and how to deal directly with offenders and their behavior, regardless of their ‘reasons’. We are told, very clearly, to rebuke, to forgive if there is repentance, and to have nothing to do with her if there is no repentance. (Luke 17:3, Ezekiel 33:8-9, Titus 3:10-11, 1 Timothy 5:20, Matthew 18:15-17

 

***For more on this subject, see sections on Forgiveness, Rebuking, Repenting & Apologies, Setting & Enforcing Limits & Boundaries, The Silent Partner, and Reprobates & Cutting Ties.

 

****For those dealing with extreme cases (see ‘Reprobates & Cutting Ties’), we also recommend the book, ‘THE SOCIOPATH NEXT DOOR- 1 in 25 Ordinary Americans Has No Conscience And Can Do Anything At All Without Feeling Guilty. Who Is The Devil YOU Know?’ by Martha Stout, Ph.D.

 

Here are some worldly reasons for abusive behavior. Can you think of any others? Please contribute to our site-let us know your ideas and we’ll add them to the list! Thanks!

 

***A Special Thank You to all who took the time to contribute to this list. We can learn so much from your voices of experience! God bless you all:)

They need to believe you’re still their ‘little girl’ in need of discipline and rearing

Jealousy or Envy

Guilt

They want revenge against someone who hurt them, but because they can’t get it, they act out their fantasies on those close to them.

Threatened by you in some way (your intelligence, independence, strength, sense of humor, etc.)

Inferior-feeling and need to bring you down to their level

Attention-grabbing

They mistake your ‘niceness’ for ‘weakness’, and they prey on weak people.

Thinks others ‘owe’ them

They thrive on conflict and crisis

Power-trip

Selfish, it’s all-about-me attitude.

Because they can get away with it

They think things will fall apart if they don’t run the show

Trying to deflect attention away from something they’re doing by drawing attention to you in a negative way

Enjoy causing trouble and upsetting others- as if they were the puppet-master and you were the puppet

Miserable in their own lives, and misery loves company

Superior feeling- think they have the right to judge or criticize others

THEY DON’T CARE about you or anyone else but themselves. You are only there to benefit them. When you cease to be useful or don’t give the Narcissistic Supply they want, they will punish you.

They resent you for rocking the boat

You make them look cowardly when you finally take a stand

You make them take a harder look at their own relationships by taking a stand in your relationships

They abuse & control you because it works!

YOU CAN CLICK ON ARTICLES UNDER THIS HEADING ON THE LEFT MENU.

THE SILENT PARTNER AND THE SILENT MAJORITY

“BECAUSE THEY LEAD MY PEOPLE ASTRAY, SAYING “PEACE” WHEN THERE IS NO PEACE, AND BECAUSE, WHEN A FLIMSY WALL IS BUILT, THEY COVER IT WITH WHITEWASH, THEREFORE TELL THOSE WHO COVER IT WITH WHITEWASH THAT IT IS GOING TO FALL. RAIN WILL COME IN TORRENTS, AND I WILL SEND HAILSTONES HURTLING DOWN, AND VIOLENT WINDS WILL BURST FORTH. WHEN THE WALL COLLAPSES, WILL PEOPLE NOT ASK YOU, “WHERE IS THE WHITEWASH YOU COVERED IT WITH?” THEREFORE THIS IS WHAT THE SOVEREIGN LORD SAYS: IN MY WRATH I WILL UNLEASH A VIOLENT WIND, AND IN MY ANGER HAILSTONES AND TORRENTS OF RAIN WILL FALL WITH DESTRUCTIVE FURY. I WILL TEAR DOWN THE WALL YOU HAVE COVERED WITH WHITEWASH AND WILL LEVEL IT TO THE GROUND SO THAT ITS FOUNDATION WILL BE LAID BARE. WHEN IT FALLS, YOU WILL BE DESTROYED IN IT; AND YOU WILL KNOW THAT I AM THE LORD. SO I WILL SPEND MY WRATH AGAINST THE WALL AND AGAINST THOSE WHO COVERED IT WITH WHITEWASH. I WILL SAY TO YOU, “THE WALL IS GONE AND SO ARE THOSE WHO WHITEWASHED IT”….Ezekiel 13: 10-15 NIV.

 

“Take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the oppressed. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented”……Elie Weisel

 

“And there came from the barnyard a great uproar, a mighty racket~ indignant cackling and mindless squawks of protest~ as the eagle rose up and left the chickens behind”…Sister Renee

The Silent Partner is any relative who stands by silently while you are victimized, or who takes the abuser’s side against the victim. She, or he, is usually the other parent, who abdicates her parental responsibility to protect her children, or, worse yet, sacrifices her children to the abuser in order to make her own life easier.

In most cases of birth-family abuse, there is usually not just one single Silent Partner. Several, if not many, family members collude with, protect, and cooperate with the abuser, and participate in scape-goating, pressuring, ostracizing, or trying to silence the victim. I will refer to these evil participants in our abuse as the Silent Majority, although that term requires a bit of clarification. In many instances they are far from silent. Although they might be silent about the actual abuse inflicted upon us, they can be quite vehement in insisting that the victim is wrong for not continuing to accept it.

While encouraging an abuser to operate freely in their midst, they will not be silent when it comes to criticizing the victim. They will look the other way when the victim is being mistreated, never validating her or defending her, and then attack her when she defends herself. The one that they gossip about, smear to others, judge, and condemn will invariably be the victim rather than the abuser. In their sick, evil, twisted minds, it is the long-suffering victim who is the family “trouble-maker”, never the abuser himself. They don’t ever believe there’s anything wrong with him. They don’t see a problem with his behavior. Why? It’s simple. Because birds of a feather stick together.

In our Lord-Of-The-Flies birth-families, the Silent Partner and The Silent Majority don’t bat an eye at betraying an innocent family member who loves them, and serving her up on a silver platter to be sacrificed to vicious, lifelong abuse. They specialize in re-victimizing the victim. Although not as open and obvious about it as the “Alpha Dog” abuser, they are every bit as guilty as he is. By either their silence, or their speaking up against the wrong person, they allow and encourage the abuse to continue. They are PARTNERS with the abuser. They are abusers, too, and it’s time we give them the credit for it .

***TO READ ABOUT THE SILENT PARTNER’S MOST FAMOUS EXCUSE FOR THE ABUSER’S BEHAVIOR, VISIT OUR ARTICLE ‘SHE CAN’T HELP THE WAY SHE ACTS (FOR VARIOUS REASONS), SO YOU’LL JUST HAVE TO ACCEPT IT, FORGIVE HER ANYWAY, AND NOT EXPECT HER TO CHANGE’ IN OUR WEBSITE SECTION ‘THE ABUSER’S REACTIONS TO REBUKE’.

***For more on this topic, please visit the Sections on WHY THEY ABUSE, BETRAY OR ABANDON YOU, THE EFFECTS OF ABUSE,SETTING & ENFORCING LIMITS & BOUNDARIES, REBUKING, THE ABUSER’S REACTIONS TO REBUKE, FORGIVENESS, REPENTING & APOLOGIES, REPROBATES & CUTTING TIES, HAPPIER HOLIDAYS, CLAIMING THE VICTORY, and FINDING PEACE .

AND NOT ONLY SO, BUT WE GLORY IN TRIBULATIONS ALSO: KNOWING THAT TRIBULATION WORKETH PATIENCE; AND PATIENCE, EXPERIENCE; AND EXPERIENCE, HOPE: AND HOPE MAKETH NOT ASHAMED; BECAUSE THE LOVE OF GOD IS SHED ABROAD IN OUR HEARTS BY THE HOLY GHOST WHICH IS GIVEN UNTO US……Romans 5: 3-5 KJV

These are some side- effects of long-term emotional abuse which have been experienced by us or other women we know.

Can you think of any more examples? E-mail us your ideas and we’ll include them on the list.

STRESS

DEPRESSION

SLEEP DISTURBANCES

ANGER

LOW SELF-ESTEEM

ANXIETY

POOR RELATIONSHIP CHOICES

UNJUSTIFIED FEELINGS OF GUILT

INABILITY TO TRUST

HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE

MIGRAINES & HEADACHES

EATING DISORDERS

ALCOHOLISM

INABILITY TO CONCENTRATE

JOB PROBLEMS

LOW IMMUNITY

FREQUENT OR SERIOUS ILLNESSES

ABUSING OTHERS

INAPPROPRIATE RAGE

AVOIDANCE OF CONFLICT

FEAR OF REJECTION

EXHAUSTION

BREATHING DIFFICULTIES OR ASTHMA

ULCERS

NIGHTMARES

SEXUAL DYSFUNCTION

SKIN CONDITIONS

CANCER

RECURRENT STIFF NECK

BACK PROBLEMS

AUTOIMMUNE DISORDERS

THYROID DISEASE

LACK OF CONFIDENCE

RESENTMENT

ACCIDENT-PRONE

FOOD CRAVINGS

ALLERGIES OR HIVES

SUBSTANCE ABUSE & ADDICTIONS

HEART DISEASE

EASILY OVERWHELMED

THINNING HAIR

MENSTRUAL OR FERTILITY PROBLEMS

HEART ATTACK

DIGESTIVE UPSETS

FEARS & PHOBIAS

INSOMNIA

SHOULDER PAIN

INABILITY TO SAY NO OR GET OWN NEEDS MET

MASSIVE FEELINGS OF INADEQUACY

EXHAUSTION

HOSTILITY

OCD AND OTHER COMPULSIONS

PTSD SYMPTOMS NOT PREVIOUSLY MENTIONED: HYPERVIGILANCE, FLASHBACKS, EXAGGERATED STARTLE RESPONSE, ETC.

PREMATURE DEATH!

ACCEPTANCE OF ABUSE, BELIEVING YOU DON’T DESERVE BETTER

Setting & Enforcing Limits & Boundaries

YOU CAN CLICK ON ARTICLES UNDER THIS HEADING ON THE LEFT MENU. Please scroll down for the poem “I Am A Soldier In The Army Of God”~.

 

“Courage is being scared to death- but saddling up anyway.”….John Wayne

   

    If I asked you what you think is the biggest problem in your abusive relationship, would you say the biggest problem is that there are no boundaries or limits? Well, if that’s what you think, you’d be wrong.  

    You see, there are plenty of boundaries and limits in your relationship, and there always have been.  The thing is, all the boundaries are one-way, and all the limits are on YOU.  Are YOU free to voice your honest opinion, say whatever is on your mind, and do whatever you’d like to do?  No?  Well, your abuser is!  Are YOU able to express your feelings of anger and upset, or to protest something you don’t like?  Of course not.  But your abuser is!   Can YOU let anything that pops into your head pop out of your mouth?  No?  Well, your abuser can!  

    Do you have to think before you speak?  Do you have to walk on eggshells?  Why?  Your abuser doesn’t!  Your abuser never had the slightest problem making it crystal clear to you just how she expects to be treated.  And that’s exactly how you treated her.  You wouldn’t dare do anything else.  But how come nobody ever has to pussyfoot around YOU?

     See, there were boundaries and limits all along.  Set by your abuser, on YOU and YOUR behavior.  And without even realizing it, you’ve been simply toeing the line all this time, adjusting everything you do, say, think, and feel in order to pacify your abuser, without ever requiring anything in return. 

     Aren’t you getting tired of always playing by somebody else’s rules?  Isn’t it time for a two-way relationship with a little give-and-take?  Are you ready to be an EQUAL player in this little game of dominance and control?  Then maybe it’s time to start having some requirements of your own, and to start setting some boundaries and limits of your own.  In a balanced relationship, between equal adults, BOTH people share equally in setting the parameters.

    And by the way, if you really want to know what the biggest problem is in your relationship, it’s that the other person in your relationship is an ABUSER!  Which means all bets are off.  You can never expect anything normal and nice.  Carrying on this relationship will be an uphill battle all the way.  Still want to try?  Well, then read on…..

     Sister, did you know that God gave you the right to refuse to allow others to abuse you?  Do you understand that it is not sinful or un-Christianlike to refuse to allow yourself or your loved ones to be exposed to destructive behavior?

            You gladly put up with fools since you are so wise!  In fact, you even put up with anyone who enslaves you or exploits you or takes advantage of you or pushes himself forward or slaps you in the face.  To my shame I admit that we were too weak for that!….2 Corinthians 11:19-21 NIV

            Wow.  Paul said that it’s okay with God if we stand up and defend ourselves from abuse!  Does God actually want us to tell our parent or sibling that she is WRONG? And that what she is doing is EVIL? God not only wants us to speak up, he pretty much ORDERS us to speak up –

            When I say to the wicked,’O wicked man, you will surely die,’ and you do not speak out to dissuade him from his ways, that wicked man will die for his sin, and I will hold you accountable for his blood.  But if you do warn the wicked man to turn from his ways and he does not do so, he will die for his sin, but you will have saved yourself…..Ezekiel  33:8-9 NIV

            Well, that seems pretty clear.  But what if our relative won’t listen?  Oh well, then he will have to suffer the consequences.  Warn a divisive person once, and then warn him a second time.  After that, have nothing to do with him. You may be sure that such a man is warped and sinful; he is self-condemned….Titus 3:10-11 NIV.   Better a poor but wise youth than an old but foolish king who no longer knows how to take warning….Ecclesiastes 4:13 NIV

            Having been raised to be people pleasers, brainwashed into feeling unworthy of love, caring or consideration, and indoctrinated into sacrificing for our relatives while burying our own needs and feelings, we have precious little experience in setting limits on the behavior of others. Defining our boundaries, protecting ourselves, informing our abusers what we will and will not tolerate, enforcing consequences for offensive behavior, and standing up to evil does not come naturally.  At first, it feels very alien, and we find that we have to force ourselves to go beyond our comfort zone to do it.  But in time, with some practice and the glorious grace of God, setting limits on our abusers will come more easily.  And one day, it will be second nature, and we will be able to do it without feeling anxious or guilty.

            Yes, our families made us feel unworthy of love and caring, but that’s just another one of the devil’s lies. Do you know that your real Father considers you to be so worthy of love and care that he sent his precious Son to die for you?    So then, brethren, we are not children of the bondwoman but of the free…Galatians 4:31NKJV

            Do you know that you belong to God, and not your birth-family?  You are HIS child, not theirs anymore.  Do you realize that God gives no man the right to abuse one of his children?   Now I say that the heir, as long as he is a child, does not differ at all from a slave, though he is master of all, but is under guardians and stewards until the time appointed by the father.  Even so we,when we were children, were in bondage under the elements of the world. But when the fullness of time had come, God sent forth His Son, born of a woman, born under the lawthat we might receive the adoption as sons. And because you are sons, God has sent forth the Spirit of His Son into your hearts, crying out, ‘Abba, Father!’  Therefore you are no longer a slave but a son, and if a son, then an heir of God through Christ.  But then, indeedwhen you did not know God, you served those which by nature are not gods. But now after you have known God, how is it that you turn again to the weak and beggardly elements, to which you desire again to be in bondage?….Galatians 4:1-9 NKJV 

            Sister, are you ready to claim the freedom that is your birthright as a child of God?  Are you ready to stand by His grace?  Are you ready to live in peace as HIS daughter, rejoicing in your inheritance? Our Father wants to set you free.  Will you let him? 

            They have greatly oppressed me from my youth, but they have not gained the victory over me.  Plowmen have plowed my back and made their furrows long.  But the Lord is righteous; he has cut me free from the cords of the wicked…..Psalm 129:2-4 NIV

I Am A Soldier In The Army Of God!

 

I am a soldier in the Army of God.

The Lord Jesus Christ is my Commanding Officer.

The Holy Bible is my code of conduct.

Faith, prayer, and the Word are my weapons of warfare.

I have been taught by the Holy Spirit,

Trained by experience,

Tried by adversity,

And tested by fire.

I am a volunteer in this Army,

And I am enlisted for eternity.

I will either retire in this Army at the rapture,

Or die in this Army;

But I will not get out,

sell out,

be talked out,

or be pushed out.

I am faithful, reliable, capable, and dependable.

If my God needs me, I am there!

I am a soldier.  I am not a baby.

I do not need to be pampered, petted, primed up, picked up, or pepped up.

I am a soldier.

No one has to call me, remind me, write me, visit me, entice me, or lure me.

I am a soldier.  I am not a wimp.

I am in place, saluting my King,

Obeying His orders,

praising His name,

and building His kingdom!

No one has to send me flowers, gifts, food, cards, candy,

Or give me handouts.

I do not need to be coddled, cradled, cared for, or catered to.

I am committed.

I cannot have my feelings hurt badly enough to turn me around.

I cannot be discouraged enough to turn me aside.

I cannot lose enough to cause me to quit.

When Jesus called me into this Army, I had nothing.

If I end up with nothing, I will still come out ahead.

I will win.

My God has, and will continue, to supply all of my needs.

I am more than a conqueror. 

I will always triumph.

I can do all things through Christ.

Devils cannot defeat me,

people cannot disillusion me,

Weather cannot weary me,

sickness cannot stop me.

Battles cannot beat me,

money cannot buy me.

Governments cannot silence me,

And hell cannot handle me.

I am a soldier.

Even death cannot destroy me.

For when my Commander calls me from this battlefield,

He will promote me to Captain and

Then allow me to rule with Him.

I am a soldier in God’s Army,

And I am marching to claim the victory.

I will not give up.

I will not turn around.

I am a soldier, marching heaven bound!

Here I stand!  Will you stand with me?

 

…Written by B.J. Morbitzer

 

    For more on this subject, please see the article the articles in this section on the left menu, also  Reaping What They Sow- The Natural Consequences Of Bad Behavior in the Section on REBUKING,  and visit the Sections THE SILENT PARTNERREBUKINGTHE ABUSER’S REACTIONS TO REBUKEREPROBATES & CUTTING TIES, and HAPPIER HOLIDAYS .

Rebuking

YOU CAN CLICK ON ARTICLES UNDER THIS HEADING ON THE LEFT MENU.
 
Leonard- “You can catch more flies with honey than vinegar.”
Sheldon- “You can catch even MORE flies with manure. What’s your point?”
……from The Big Bang Theory
 
I wonder where folks get the idea that Christians have to be meek and mild, silently enduring mistreatment, tolerating anything anybody else does, and timidly standing by while abusers trample all over them and other innocent victims. Since when is it a sin to speak out against evil? This is what our abusers want us to believe, and they just love throwing it back in our faces anytime we protest their behavior. They provoke us to anger, they cause untold pain and suffering, and then when we finally speak up, they smugly inform us that we’re not acting like “good Christians”. This is hogwash. Abusers would just love for us to back off and be quiet while they do anything they want and get away with murder.
Satan will always try to use our righteousness against us, to get us to question our faith, and to separate us from God. This is just another one of his tricks. What kind of awesome, wonderful, All-Good God would our Father be if he actually wanted us to allow wickedness to operate unchecked in our families and our lives? This concept is preposterous, and contradicts the perfect goodness of the Lord. Our God is All-Good, and the devil is all-bad. They are diametrically opposed for all eternity. God instructs his saints to take a stand against evil and fight the good fight, not to keep silent and hide in the closet. It is God’s plan that good will triumph over evil. We are the Army of God. We must put on the full armor of God and stand against Satan and his army. That is our assignment, and our destiny as a child of God.
 
TAKE HEED TO YOURSELVES. IF YOUR BROTHER SINS AGAINST YOU, REBUKE HIM; AND IF HE REPENTS, FORGIVE HIM….LUKE 17:3 NKJV
 
When I say unto the wicked, O wicked man, thou shalt surely die; if thou dost not speak to warn the wicked from his way, that wicked man shall die in his iniquity; but his blood will I require at thine hand. Nevertheless, if thou warn the wicked of his way to turn from it; if he do not turn from his way, he shall die in his iniquity; but thou hast delivered thy soul….Ezekiel 33: 8-9 KJV
Warn a divisive person once, then warn him a second time. After that, have nothing to do with him. You may be sure that such a man is warped and sinful; he is self-condemned….Titus 3:10-11
Answer a fool according to his folly, Lest he be wise in his own conceit….Proverbs 26:5 KJV
Then will I teach trangressors thy ways; and sinners shall be converted unto thee….Psalm 51: 13KJV
Those who sin are to be rebuked publicly, so that the others may take warning…..1 Timothy 5:20NIV
BEHOLD, I GIVE YOU THE AUTHORITY TO TRAMPLE ON SERPENTS AND SCORPIONS, AND OVER ALL THE POWER OF THE ENEMY, AND NOTHING SHALL BY ANY MEANS HURT YOU. NEVERTHELESS, DO NOT REJOICE IN THIS, THAT THE SPIRITS ARE SUBJECT TO YOU, BUT RATHER REJOICE BECAUSE YOUR NAMES ARE WRITTEN IN HEAVEN….Luke 10:19:20 NKJV
 
***When dealing with Abusers, it is always best not to expect the appropriate reactions to rebuke that you would get from a normal person, such as apologies and improved behavior. Be prepared!- Read the articles in THE ABUSER’S REACTIONS TO REBUKE section.
***For more on this topic, please visit the Sections on SETTING & ENFORCING LIMITS & BOUNDARIES, REPENTING & APOLOGIES, FORGIVENESS, THE SILENT PARTNER, GOD’S WORD, THE WISDOM OF PROVERBS, REPROBATES & CUTTING TIES, and HAPPIER HOLIDAYS.

Repenting & Apologies

YOU CAN CLICK ON ARTICLES UNDER THIS HEADING ON THE LEFT MENU

REPENTING AND APOLOGIES

REPENT:  TO TURN FROM SIN AND DEDICATE ONESELF TO THE

AMENDMENT OF ONE’S LIFE; TO FEEL REGRET OR

CONTRITION; TO CHANGE ONE’S MIND

Source: Webster’s 9th Collegiate Dictionary

           

AND JESUS SAID UNTO HER, NEITHER DO I CONDEMN THEE: GO, AND SIN NO MORE“…John 8:11 KJV.

           

            When Jesus forgave the adulteress in John Chapter 8, he said, “Go, and sin no more.”  He did not say, “OK, I forgive you this time, now go right back to what you were doing wrong, and every time you do more evil, just come on back and I’ll forgive you again.”  In order to merit forgiveness, CHANGE (repentance) is required. A sincere apology and the changing of one’s hurtful ways, along with a little time, is often all it takes to restore trust in a damaged or lost relationship. Normal folks have no problem smoothing things over,  making amends for an offense, or being remorseful for hurting someone who loves them, especially if it means staying on good terms and keeping the relationship intact.  It seems so simple. And it’s the only way possible to restore the damaged bond.  So why the abuser’s extreme reluctance to do it?

            Abusers and control freaks love having the upper hand.  Humbling themselves to sincerely apologize is rarely something they’re willing to do, much less committing to a change in behavior.  That would require effort on their parts, and the sad truth is, to them, we’re just not worth that effort.

            You see, they know something that we don’t know.  They know that our bond with them is not based on love.  It’s based on domination, co-dependency, fear, resistance to change, and addiction.  They know from past experience that they DON’T HAVE TO treat us well.  They can treat us like garbage, and we’ll still stick around for more.  They have no motivation at all to apologize or change their ways, because they don’t take us seriously, and they don’t care one bit about our feelings.

            But with God’s grace, we can find the courage to change our lives for the better, with or without our abusers.  An important step in deciding whether to stay in a relationship, or end it, is learning to recognize sincere apologies and true remorse, and understanding that these are essential to replacing our one-way, toxic relationship with a healthy bond.

FOOLS MOCK AT MAKING AMENDS FOR SIN, BUT GOODWILL IS FOUND AMONG THE UPRIGHT….Proverbs 14:9 NIV

LET THE WICKED FORSAKE HIS WAY, AND THE UNRIGHTEOUS MAN HIS THOUGHTS; AND LET HIM RETURN UNTO THE LORD, AND HE WILL HAVE MERCY UPON HIM….Isaiah 55:7 KJV

BUT BECAUSE OF YOUR STUBBORNNESS AND YOUR UNREPENTANT HEART, YOU ARE STORING UP WRATH AGAINST YOURSELF FOR THE DAY OF GOD’S WRATH, WHEN HIS RIGHTEOUS JUDGMENT WILL BE REVEALED.  GOD WILL GIVE TO EACH PERSON ACCORDING TO WHAT HE HAS DONE…..Romans 2: 5-6 NIV     

   

For more on this topic, please see the Sections on FORGIVENESS,REBUKINGTHE ABUSER’S REACTIONS TO REBUKETHE SILENT PARTNER & THE SILENT MAJORITYREPROBATES & CUTTING TIES, and  SETTING & ENFORCING LIMITS & BOUNDARIES .

Forgiveness-Not Necessarily What You Think

YOU CAN CLICK ON ARTICLES UNDER THIS HEADING ON THE LEFT MENU.

 

And when ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have ought against any: that your Father also which is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.  But if ye do not forgive, neither will your Father which is in heaven forgive your trespasses…..Mark11:25-26 KJV

Forgive as the Lord forgave you….Colossians 3:13NIV

     Sister, your Father wants you to forgive.  We all know this is not easy, in fact, it can be very difficult.  The Enemy is jubilant when you do not forgive.  But our hearts must be obedient to our beloved Father, first and foremost, above all else.  We must overcome Satan’s temptation to remain unforgiving. 

     However, forgiveness and the requirement to forgive are not necessarily what we have been led to believe they are by our abusers and their enablers, or by others who are either misinformed or trying to deceive us.  In the Bible, we are told to forgive as the Lord forgave us.(Colossians 3:13, Ephesians 4:32)  The Lord forgives us when we repent. (Ezekiel 33:10-20, Isaiah 55:6-7, Jeremiah 6:16-30 & 26:3, Luke 13:3 & 5, Acts 3:19)  He does NOT forgive those who are ‘stiff-necked’ , refuse to repent, and intend to continue in their sinful ways, and he does not expect us to, either.  By forgiving unremorseful evildoers, we are depriving them of the opportunity to repent and transform their lives.

     In Luke 17:3, Jesus tells us very clearly that we are to forgive someone who sins against us IF he repents.   God does not want us to continue to be abused, in fact, we are told to shun evildoers ( Some examples are Psalm 37:9, Psalm 119:115, Matthew 18:17, Titus 3:10-11, 1 Corinthians 5:1-5.  See the article “No Forgiveness For The Unrepentant” under this heading on the left menu for more).  But if there is true repentance (see Helpful Definitions), the Lord does want us to forgive.

     Click on the articles to the left under “Forgiveness- Not Necessarily What You Think” for details about God’s formula for forgiveness, and help in being able to forgive when there truly is repentance.  May God bless you in your struggle.  With courage from the Lord, the devil, and his tricks to separate us from God’s grace, will be defeated!   OUR GOD IS A MIGHTY GOD!   HALLELUJAH! 

     ***If you are interesting in reading more about the Biblical model for forgiveness and offering unconditional forgiveness or forgiveness without repentance, we recommend the RBC website.  Click HERE for one article and HERE for another one.

***For more on this subject, please visit the Sections SETTING & ENFORCING LIMITS & BOUNDARIESREBUKINGREPENTING & APOLOGIESTHE ABUSER’S REACTIONS TO REBUKE, and REPROBATES & CUTTING TIES .

YOU CAN CLICK ON ARTICLES UNDER THIS HEADING ON THE LEFT MENU.

“Listen! And understand! That terminator is out there. It can’t be bargained with! It can’t be reasoned with! It doesn’t feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop, ever, until you are dead!”….Kyle Reese, The Terminator, 1984

 

BETTER A POOR BUT WISE YOUTH THAN AN OLD BUT FOOLISH KING WHO NO LONGER KNOWS HOW TO TAKE WARNING…..Ecclesiastes 4:13 NIV

FOOLS MOCK AT MAKING AMENDS FOR SIN….Proverbs 14:9

FOOLS HAVE NO INTEREST IN UNDERSTANDING; THEY ONLY WANT TO AIR THEIR OWN OPINIONS…Proverbs 18:2NLT

AS A DOG RETURNS TO ITS VOMIT, SO A FOOL REPEATS HIS FOLLY…..Proverbs 26:11 NLT

BUT BECAUSE OF YOUR STUBBORNESS AND YOUR UNREPENTANT HEART, YOU ARE STORING UP WRATH AGAINST YOURSELF FOR THE DAY OF GOD’S WRATH, WHEN HIS RIGHTEOUS JUDGMENT WILL BE REVEALED. GOD WILL GIVE TO EACH PERSON ACCORDING TO WHAT HE HAS DONE….Romans 2: 5-6 NIV

 

For more on this topic, please visit the Sections WHY THEY ABUSE, BETRAY, OR ABANDON YOU, THE SILENT PARTNER, SETTING & ENFORCING LIMITS & BOUNDARIES, REBUKING, REPENTING & APOLOGIES, HAPPIER HOLIDAYS, and REPROBATES & CUTTING TIES

It is truly a wonder to behold the amount of time, energy, and creativity that abusers and their Silent Partners will put into inventing an infinite variety of lame excuses to justify why they should be allowed to continue hurting others. How much easier and more constructive it would be to just re-direct and devote all of that effort into simply changing their behavior. But They Don’t Want To. So, whether confronting your abuser, or reading about all of her ridiculous excuses, keep in mind that all you’re really asking of her, and all she really has to do, is JUST STOP IT.

Here are the reactions we ourselves experienced when we began to set limits on our controlling or abusive relatives, as well as reactions other sisters have reported.

Please contribute to our site! If you can think of any more inappropriate reactions, please E-mail us and we’ll include your ideas! Thanks!~

I HAVE NO IDEA WHY YOU’RE MAD AT ME (SEE THE ARTICLE “SELECTIVE AMNESIA”)

DENIAL

GASLIGHTING

INAPPROPRIATE AND JUVENILE DISPLAYS OF ANGER- GRITTING TEETH, SCREAMING, SPEEDING UP THE CAR, NAME CALLING, HANGING UP THE PHONE, PUTTING THE PHONE DOWN AND WALKING AWAY WHILE YOU’RE STILL ON THE LINE AND THEN PUTTING IT ON THE HOOK SEVERAL MINUTES LATER, MIMICKING, IMITATING, OR MAKING FUN OF YOU WHEN YOU COMPLAIN OR CONFRONT HER, ETC.

ACCUSING YOU OF TRYING TO START AN ARGUMENT, YELLING AT HER, SCREAMING OR SCREECHING AT HER, OR DELIBERATELY TRYING TO UPSET HER.

BECOMING VINDICTIVE OR VAGUELY THREATENING-“YOU’D BETTER BE SORRY FOR WHAT YOU SAID”, AS IF YOU HAD NO RIGHT TO CONFRONT HER. CRYING OR LAYING ON A GUILT TRIP-“i CAN’T BELIEVE YOU WOULD SAY SUCH A THING TO ME”, “YOU DON’T LOVE ME”, “HOW CAN YOU BE SO MEAN TO YOUR OWN MOTHER?”

‘I CAN’T CONTROL MYSELF’, ‘THAT’S JUST THE WAY I AM’, ‘IT’S SUBCONSCIOUS’, ‘YOU KNOW I DON’T MEAN IT’, ‘I HAVE TROUBLE EXPRESSING MYSELF’ AND VARIOUS OTHER MENTAL PROBLEMS (SEE THE ARTICLE ‘SHE CAN’T HELP THE WAY SHE ACTS- SO YOU’LL JUST HAVE TO ACCEPT IT, FORGIVE HER ANYWAY, AND NOT EXPECT HER TO CHANGE.’)

YOU MISUNDERSTOOD ME/ YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT/ YOU TOOK IT THE WRONG WAY (SEE THE ARTICLE ‘THE MYSTERY EXCUSE FOR ABUSE- VARIOUS VERSION OF ‘YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT’ WITH NO FURTHER EXPLANATION GIVEN’)

REFUSING TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY (SEE THE ARTICLE ‘THE 3RS OF ACCOUNTABILITY- REPENTANCE, RESTITUTION, AND PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY.’

SHE’S OLD (SEE THE ARTICLE ‘THE OLD AGE EXCUSES: SHE’S OLD- THAT’S HOW THEY GET & HE’S OLD- SO HE’S ENTITLED’)

BLAMING YOU (SEE THE ARTICLE ‘DESPERATE MEASURES- WHEN THEY SENSE THEY’RE LOSING THEIR GRIP ON YOU- 5 SURPRISING WAYS OF KEEPING YOU ATTACHED.’)

BLAMING SOMEONE ELSE

‘I DID IT FOR YOUR OWN GOOD’ (SEE THE ARTICLE ‘SPIN CONTROL-MAKING ABUSE SOUND LIKE A GOOD THING’)

‘WE WERE BOTH WRONG’ OR ‘WE BOTH HURT EACH OTHER’ WHEN IN REALITY THE VICTIM DID NOTHING WRONG AT ALL. (SEE THE ARTICLES ‘THE ‘CHRISTIAN’ ABUSER- TWISTING GOD’S WORD TO JUSTIFY ABUSE’ AND ‘THE MYSTERY EXCUSE FOR ABUSE….’)

TRIANGLING (ENLISTING SOMEONE ELSE AGAINST YOU)-(SEE THE ARTICLES ‘THEY CAN’T ALL BE WRONG AND YOU RIGHT…OR CAN THEY?’ and THE DEVIL’S ADVOCATE: HANDLING THE FAMILY MEDDLER…OOPS, I MEAN “PEACEMAKER”)

SARCASM

‘I SAID I WAS SORRY’ WITH NO CHANGE IN BEHAVIOR (SEE THE ARTICLES IN THE SECTION ‘REPENTING AND APOLOGIES’)

TELLING YOU THAT YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT SHE’S BEEN GOING THROUGH OR WHAT’S GOING ON IN HER LIFE, AS IF THAT JUSTIFIES HER ABUSING YOU (SEE THE ARTICLE ‘THE MYSTERY EXCUSE FOR ABUSE…VARIOUS VERSIONS OF ‘YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT’ WITH NO FURTHER EXPLANATION GIVEN.’)

TELLING YOU SHE HAS REPENTED TO GOD FOR WHAT SHE DID TO YOU, SO HER CONSCIENCE IS NOW CLEAR (SEE THE ARTICLE ‘THE CHRISTIAN ABUSER- TWISTING GOD’S WORD TO JUSTIFY ABUSE, PART 2’)

TELLING YOU SHE HAS REPENTED TO GOD SO SHE DOESN’T HAVE TO MAKE ANY AMENDS TO YOU (SEE THE ARTICLE ‘THE 3RS OF ACCOUNTABILITY- REPENTANCE, RESTITUTION, AND PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY’)

TELLING YOU GOD FORGAVE HER AND SHE DOESN’T HAVE TO EXPLAIN HERSELF TO YOU OR RELIVE THE PAST (SEE ARTICLES IN THE SECTION ON ‘FORGIVENESS- NOT NECESSARILY WHAT YOU THINK’.)

TELLING YOU GOD FORGIVES HER WHETHER YOU DO OR NOT.(SEE ARTICLES IN THE SECTION ON ‘FORGIVENESS-NOT NECESSARILY WHAT YOU THINK’)

TELLING YOU GOD FORGIVES HER SO YOU HAVE TO, AS WELL.(SEE THE ARTICLES IN THE SECTION ON ‘FORGIVENESS-NOT NECESSARILY WHAT YOUR THINK’)

TELLING YOU NOT TO ‘JUDGE’ HER WHEN YOU ARE CONFRONTING HER.(SEE THE ARTICLE ‘YOU’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO JUDGE ME- THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN JUDGING AND REBUKING’)

TRYING TO MAKE YOU FEEL GUILTY (SEE THE ARTICLE ‘DESPERATE MEASURES….’)

‘AFTER ALL I’VE DONE FOR YOU'(SEE THE ARTICLE ‘AFTER ALL I’VE DONE FOR YOU’-TROTTING OUT THE ‘YOU OWE ME’ EXCUSE FOR ABUSE’)

‘YOU’RE TOO SENSITIVE’

‘YOU TAKE EVERYTHING THE WRONG WAY’ (SEE THE ARTICLE ‘THE MYSTERY EXCUSE….’)

REFUSING TO HEAR YOU OUT ‘I’M LEAVING IF YOU CONTINUE TO SPEAK TO ME LIKE THIS’

TURNING IT AROUND (GETTING ANGRY AT YOU FOR LETTING HIM KNOW HE UPSET YOU OR FOR SETTING LIMITS- TRYING TO MAKE YOU APOLOGIZE TO HIM!)

‘I DID THE BEST I COULD’ (SEE THE ARTICLE ‘THE SILENT PARTNER’)

‘YOU’RE THE ONE WITH THE PROBLEM’ (SEE THE ARTICLE ‘DESPERATE MEASURES….’)

TELLING YOU OTHER PEOPLE THINK YOU’RE THE ONE WITH THE PROBLEM

TELLING YOU YOU’RE THE ONLY PERSON WHO HAS A PROBLEM WITH HER; EVERYBODY ELSE LOVES HER!

‘YOU’RE ALWAYS COMPLAINING’

‘NOTHING I DO IS EVER GOOD ENOUGH’

DISOWNING YOU, ‘I HAVE NO DAUGHTER!’ (SEE THE ARTICLE ‘DESPERATE MEASURES….’)

‘YOU DESERVED IT!’ OR ‘YOU WERE ASKING FOR IT’

ESCALATING THE ABUSE NOW THAT HE KNOWS IT’S GETTING TO YOU.(SEE THE ARTICLE ‘DESPERATE MEASURES….’)

‘LET’S KEEP THIS BETWEEN US’ , ‘DON’T TELL ________’ (ABUSERS AND THEIR ENABLERS ARE ONLY ABLE TO CONTINUE THEIR ABUSE IF THERE IS SECRECY. THEY COUNT ON OTHERS BEING TOO INTIMIDATED TO EXPOSE THEM!) (SEE THE ARTICLE ‘SPIN CONTROL- MAKING ABUSE SOUND LIKE A GOOD THING’)

PRETENDING TO LOSE THEIR PATIENCE WITH YOUR COMPLAINTS-‘JUST FORGET IT!’ ‘GET OVER IT!’ (SEE THE ARTICLE ‘THE MYSTERY EXCUSE….’)

MINIMIZING THE OFFENSE, TELLING YOU YOU’RE MAKING A BIG DEAL OUT OF IT, OR MAKING A MOUNTAIN OUT OF A MOLEHILL

Reprobates & Cutting Ties

YOU CAN CLICK ON ARTICLES UNDER THIS HEADING ON THE LEFT MENU.

Jerry:  “Marriage is a big step, Elaine.  Your life’ll totally change.

Elaine:  “Jerry, it’s three-thirty in the morning.  I’m at a cockfight.  What am I clinging to?”

                                                                    ….Seinfeld, The Little Jerry 1/9/97.        

Do you think you understand how a psychopath thinks?  Here’s a riddle for you:

A young woman is at her mother’s funeral.  There she meets a man she’s never seen before.  They talk for awhile and she feels an instant connection to him- it’s love at first sight.  He’s everything she’s ever wanted in a man.  She could easily see herself spending the rest of her life with him. She can’t believe she’s finally found her Prince Charming! The only problem is, she doesn’t get his name or number before he leaves.

Two weeks later, she kills her sister.

Why?

Take some time to think about it, and then scroll down to the bottom of the page for the answer.

IF THE HEAD OF THE HOUSE HAS BEEN CALLED BEELZEBUB, HOW MUCH MORE THE MEMBERS OF HIS HOUSEHOLD!….   Matthew 10:25

Warn a divisive person once, and then warn him a second time.  After that, have nothing to do with him.  You may be sure that such a man is warped and sinful; he is self-condemned…Titus 3:10-11

A sow that is washed goes back to her wallowing in the mud….2 Peter 2: 22 NIV

  ****HIGHLY RECOMMENDED BOOK:  ‘THE SOCIOPATH NEXT DOOR – 1 in 25 Ordinary Americans Secretly Has No Conscience And Can Do Anything At All Without Feeling Guilty.  Who Is The Devil YOU Know?’   By Martha Stout, Ph.D.

 

   Most of us are dealing with difficult, controlling, or manipulative relatives of one kind or another.  For their own selfish reasons, they cause us sorrow and stress as we try to resolve our relationship with them.  But then there is the type of relative who takes abuse to a whole other level- one who makes all the other problem relatives look like a walk in the park.

     Sister, there are truly evil people in this world.  Some people are just depraved, degenerate, sadistic, vicious, malicious, and without a decent bone in their bodies.  They thrive on chaos and live to wreak suffering, pain, and heartache on others.  They have not one redeemable quality, and no one can think of anything good to say about them.  They have completely rejected God and given their lives over to Satan.  Many of these wicked people are in our prison system, and, unfortunately, many are not; they are still on the loose, out in the world, inflicting their hatred, malevolence and evil on any innocent victim they are able to contaminate. 

     These demonized people marry and have children of their own, just like normal people.  Some of us have had the misfortune to be born one of those children……

    

***ANSWER TO PSYCHOPATH RIDDLE:   She reasons that if he was at her mother’s funeral, he must be a friend of the family.  So,  if there’s another family funeral, maybe he’ll show up again……

     Did you get it wrong?  Well, don’t feel bad.  You don’t think like a psychopath, but until now you also didn’t understand how they think.  At least now you know what you’re up against.

 ******What does NO CONTACT mean?  And what is HOOVERING?:

CLICK HERE TO READ HOOVERING 101 AND NO CONTACT 101.

AND WHEN PHAROAH DREW NIGH, THE CHILDREN OF ISRAEL LIFT UP THEIR EYES, AND BEHOLD, THE EGYPTIANS MARCHED AFTER THEM; AND THEY WERE SORE AFRAID: AND THE CHILDREN OF ISRAEL CRIED OUT UNTO THE LORD, AND THEY SAID UNTO MOSES, BECAUSE THERE WERE NO GRAVES IN EGYPT, HAST THOU TAKEN US AWAY TO DIE IN THE WILDERNESS?  WHEREFORE HAST THOU DEALT THUS WITH US, TO CARRY US FORTH OUT OF EGYPT?  IS NOT THIS THE WORD THAT WE DID TELL THEE IN EGYPT, SAYING, LET US ALONE, THAT WE MAY SERVE THE EGYPTIANS?  FOR IT HAD BEEN BETTER FOR US TO SERVE THE EGYPTIANS, THAN THAT WE SHOULD DIE IN THE WILDERNESS.  AND MOSES SAID UNTO THE PEOPLE, FEAR YE NOT, STAND STILL, AND SEE THE SALVATION OF THE LORD, WHICH HE WILL SHEW TO YOU TO DAY: FOR THE EGYPTIANS WHOM YE HAVE SEEN TO DAY, YE SHALL SEE THEM AGAIN NO MORE FOR EVER….Exodus 14: 10-13 KJV.

 

 

***For more on this topic, please see the Sections on  REPENTING & APOLOGIESFORGIVENESSREBUKINGTHE SILENT PARTNER & THE SILENT MAJORITYTHE ABUSER’S REACTIONS TO REBUKEGOD’S WORDTHE WISDOM OF PROVERBSTHE FREEDOM OF THE HOLY SPIRITCLAIMING THE VICTORYHAPPIER HOLIDAYS,  and FINDING PEACE .

YOU CAN CLICK ON ARTICLES UNDER THIS HEADING ON THE LEFT MENU.
 

‘Insanity is when you do the same thing over and over again and expect a different result’…….Albert Einstein

This great post from our Sister Jenni really sums up how so many of us feel during the holiday season. Many thanks to our Sister for sharing her feelings with us and putting it into words so perfectly~

I hear you all on the holiday grief. For some reason this year I feel a bit
frozen… In the past I have felt really angry/sad because my kids don’t have
reasonable grandparents, we have very little family to have any kind of
traditions with. I just feel like Christmas is coming WAY too soon and I’m not
emotionally ready for it. I want to hit the ‘ignore’ button. Which probably
means I’m shoving something under. Maybe multiple things under. I feel like I’m
just going through the motions and I really don’t care, don’t feel like dealing
with a tree, or lights, or any of the usual fun stuff. I don’t really care that
my family sucks and husband’s family sucks and husband sucks a lot of the time.
I’m just tired. I’m tired of being the responsible one. I’m tired of being the
one who cares, who thinks, who motivates. I’m tired of having people ask me to
do things they are clearly capable of doing themselves. I’m tired of ‘helpless’
narcissistic people. I’m tired of going to stores and looking over my shoulder
for crazy family. I’m tired of being the one they accost rather than their own
son. I’m tired of hearing that my mother is lying about me, about what I said,
about what she said, about what she did. I’m tired of my husband’s family lying
about me, about who I am, about what I am, about what I have said, about what I
believe, about who they are, about what they have said. I’m tired of stupid
people’s stupid excuses for the mean and nasty things they do and say. I’m tired
of having to explain to my kids that just because we are surrounded by Ns in our
family does NOT mean the rest of the world should be viewed with suspicion. I’m
tired of worrying that my kids will grow up to be like the N family. I’m tired
of being so exhausted I can’t do the things I truly enjoy. I’m just flippin
tired.

Wow… I did NOT know all that was in my head.

Jenni

Holidays 2006 Letter

Dear Sisters, and Brothers Too,

Well, it’s already started. As I write this, it’s only the third week in September and already the pre-holiday aggravation is well underway for many of us. The traffic to our site has doubled, and the e-mails are flooding in.

The stress is over one of two things:

1. How to survive spending the upcoming holidays with abusive relatives, or how to finally get out of doing so.

OR-

2. Having suddenly been contacted by an estranged relative, or having an abuser we no longer have a relationship with sneak behind our backs and make contact with one of our children.

If you are going through this, or anticipating it, rest assured that you are most definitely not alone. In fact, this experience is practically universal. Control freaks just aren’t known for accepting defeat and bowing out gracefully.

Abusers to whom we no longer speak will often lurk around in the background till they can catch us at a weak moment. They count on us being all warm and fuzzy and sentimental around the holidays and figure they can take advantage of that and get to us through guilt. Then when we let our guard down again and start trusting them a little (or as soon as they’re nicely seated at our family table for Thanksgiving dinner and know we wouldn’t have the nerve to throw them out or stand up to them in front of everyone else)- Bam! Their true colors come out and we’re right back to square one!

This must have happened to me 150 times before I finally got it and stopped falling for it. I think a big contributing factor is that we are so conditioned to expect family problems during the holidays. We joke about it and even make movies about it. Magazine articles are written about how to ‘handle’ ‘difficult’ relatives at get-togethers. We treat it like it’s a given. But it’s not.

After 47 years of holiday fiascos, I, for one, got fed up with trying to ‘handle’ my relatives, always having to anticipate what might set them off, be one step ahead, not sit this one next to that one, and smooth things over fast before they exploded. It was upsetting, stressful, draining, and exhausting. I don’t know how or when this became my responsibility, but it was never going to stop until I stopped it. I did that by just point-blank refusing to spend anymore holidays with them. And for the first time in my life, I was able to enjoy the holidays like I should have all along, with peace, joy, and my husband and kids, good friends, and ‘normal’ relatives.

I started a tradition of inviting distant relatives, friends, neighbors, and anyone who might be alone, to share the holidays with us. Everyone who came was great company and we all enjoyed every minute. So we continued with that tradition and pushed the ‘delete’ button on the abusers.

If there’s one message I’d love to be able to get out there this year, it’s that anyone and everyone can do what I did, and should do it if the alternative is spending Christmas or Thanksgiving being abused.

Nobody’s family makes a bigger deal over the holidays than mine did. If I can walk away, so can you. I’m amazed that so many don’t realize they have this option, and I didn’t either. For 47 years, I never imagined that I had a choice.

Every year from about now till mid-January, it’s always the same. Suddenly we get this tremendous increase in e-mails and hits on our website. It is just a hideous time of year for so many Adult Children as their abusers manufacture so many crises that never have to be. It’s really disheartening. I just wish the light bulb would go on and everybody would realize that they do have the power to just say No, and make holidays plans that don’t include their abusive families.

Yes, it will probably cause a rift when you rock the boat, but you have to get to the point where you’re so desperate for some peace that you just don’t care about their reactions anymore. There’s a whole other world out there that our abusers don’t want us to ever see or taste- a world of normal people who appreciate their families and can actually manage to be nice to one another. We ALL deserve joyful holidays, and those of us from abusive families only have to grit our teeth, take that first step, and MAKE IT HAPPEN. Don’t waste 47 years like I did.

This holiday season, let’s support each other as sisters and brothers in Christ. Please keep those facing this heartache and stress in prayer. We all need courage to take a stand and start our new life, and the Lord’s comfort as we mourn and adjust to changes in our long-term traditions.

If you know someone with an abusive birth-family, please consider inviting her to join you for the holidays, so she’ll have an alternative to either being alone or spending Thanksgiving and Christmas suffering through her family’s abuse. Or contact your local homeless shelter or food pantry and spend the day serving the Lord, where you will be appreciated and be able to bless others. Take a deep breath and just say No to your abusers, reach out to someone else, and may the Lord fill your heart and home with his peace and joy. I’ll be praying for wonderful holidays this year for all of us…..

God bless you always, Sister Renee

****Please read our articles to the left for practical suggestions….

****Why do Destructive Narcissistic relatives just love to ruin our holidays???? For the eye-opening unvarnished truth, check out Dr. Sam Vaknin’s riveting article, ‘A HOLIDAY GRUDGE’:

http://samvak.tripod.com/journal40.html

IS IT TIME FOR A CHANGE?
The Christmas Holidays and Thanksgiving are a time for peace, joy, and thankfulness. We thank God for all our blessings and rejoice over the birth of our Savior Jesus.

We all expect a certain amount of stress and fatigue during the holidays. Shopping, cleaning, decorating, and cooking can take a lot out of us. And after all the work and rushing around is done, most folks can look forward to being rewarded with an enjoyable time surrounded by their loving family.

But for some of us, these holidays, as well as others (especially Mother’s Day) are a time of extreme stress, anxiety, upset, depression, and exhaustion. We do not have an enjoyable time with family to look forward to. Instead, we dread the coming aggravation from controlling, ill-tempered, selfish, jealous, or abusive relatives.

We end up being disappointed, disillusioned, and saddened that every holiday has to be ruined by family members who should be expressing their love and gratitude instead. We feel doomed to never having a nice holiday.

And yet we do it again the next time. We keep doing the same things over and over again, hoping that this time, maybe it will be different, but it never is. We think we’re doing everything right, but we must be doing something wrong! Guess who needs to make some changes here? (If you said your abusive relative, you’re wrong- and you know that’s not going to happen anyway!)

Sister, are you ready to make some changes? Are you ready to have the happy holidays you always wanted? Are you ready to change your definition of a ‘family holiday’? Are you ready to experience the kind of holiday you and your husband and children deserve?

Then read on , dear sister. Just click on an article under the Happier Holidays heading on the left menu that interests you. We pray that our testimonies will help you claim the peace and joy of the holidays, in Jesus’ name. God bless you and pour out his love, and the love of family and friends upon you during every holiday! In His love,

Sister Renee and Sister Denise

***For more on this subject, please visit the Sections on THE EFFECTS OF ABUSE, THE SILENT PARTNER & THE SILENT MAJORITY, SETTING & ENFORCING LIMITS & BOUNDARIES, REBUKING, REPROBATES & CUTTING TIES, CLAIMING THE VICTORY, OUR REAL FATHER, JOY IN JESUS, THE FREEDOM OF THE HOLY SPIRIT, and FINDING PEACE .

Claiming the Victory

YOU CAN CLICK ON ARTICLES UNDER THIS HEADING ON THE LEFT MENU.

Joseph named his firstborn Manasseh and said, “It is because God has made me forget all my trouble and all my father’s household.”……..Genesis 41:51NIV

 

THEY HAVE GREATLY OPPRESSED ME FROM MY YOUTH, BUT THEY HAVE NOT GAINED THE VICTORY OVER ME.  PLOWMEN HAVE PLOWED MY BACK AND MADE THEIR FURROWS LONG.  BUT THE LORD IS RIGHTEOUS; HE HAS CUT ME FREE FROM THE CORDS OF THE WICKED….Psalm 129:2-4NIV

O thou afflicted, tossed with tempest, and not comforted, Behold, I will lay thy stones with fair colours, and lay thy foundations with sapphires.  And I will make thy windows of agates, and thy gates of carbuncles, and all thy borders of pleasant stones.  And all thy children shall be taught of the Lord; and great shall be the peace of thy children.  In righteousness shalt thou be established:  Thou shalt be far from oppression; for thou shalt not fear: and from terror; for it shall not come near thee.  Behold, they shall surely gather together, but not by me:  Whosoever shall gather together against thee shall fall for thy sake.  Behold, I have created the smith that bloweth the coals in the fire, and that bringeth forth an instrument for his work; and I have created the waster to destroy.  No weapon that is formed against thee shall prosper; and every tongue that shall rise against thee in judgment thou shalt condemn.  This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord, and their righteousness is of me, saith the Lord…..Isaiah 54: 11-17 KJV

 

Hallelujah!  Glory to our God!   Praise his wonderful name!

 LET IT GO FOR 2011
By Bishop T. D. Jakes

There are people who can walk away from you.
And hear me when I tell you this! When people can walk away from
you:
let them walk.

I don’t want you to try to talk another person into staying with
you,
loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you,
staying
attached to you. I mean hang up the phone.

When people can walk away from you let them walk. Your destiny is
never

tied to anybody that left. The bible said that, they came out from
us
that it might be made manifest that they were not for us. For had
they
been of us, no doubt they would have continued with us.
[1 John 2:19]

People leave you because they are not joined to you. And if they are
not joined to you, you can’t make them stay. Let them go.

And it doesn’t mean that they are a bad person it just means that
their

part in the story is over.
And you’ve got to know when people’s part in your story is over so
that

you don’t keep trying to raise the dead. You’ve got to know when
it’s
dead. You’ve got to know when it’s over. Let me tell you something.
I’ve got the gift of good-bye. It’s the tenth spiritual gift, I
believe

in good-bye. It’s not that I’m hateful, it’s that I’m faithful, and
I
know whatever God means for me to have He’ll give it to me. And if
it
takes too much sweat I don’t need it. Stop begging people to stay.
LET THEM GO!!!

If you are holding on to something that doesn’t belong to you and
was
never intended for your life, then you need to……
LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to past hurts and pains……
LET IT GO!!!

If someone can’t treat you right, love you back, and see your
worth…..
LET IT GO!!!

If someone has angered you…….
LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to some thoughts of evil and revenge….. .
LET IT GO!!!

If you are involved in a wrong relationship or addiction… …
LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to a job that no longer meets your needs or
talents …………
LET IT GO!!!

If you have a bad attitude…
LET IT GO!!!

If you keep judging others to make
yourself feel better……
LET IT GO!!!

If you’re stuck in the past and God is trying to take you to a new
level in Him……..
LET IT GO!!!

If you are struggling with the healing of a broken
relationship. ……
LET IT GO!!!

If you keep trying to help someone who won’t even try to help
themselves.. ….
LET IT GO!!!

If you’re feeling depressed and stressed ………
LET IT GO!!!

If there is a particular situation that you are so used to handling
yourself and God is saying “take your hands off of it,” then you
need
to……
LET IT GO!!!

Let the past be the past. Forget the former things.
GOD is doing a new thing for 2011!!!
LET IT GO!!!

Get Right or Get Left .. think about it, and then…..
LET IT GO!!!

“The Battle is not yours, it is the Lord’s!!!”
 

THEY THAT SOW IN TEARS SHALL REAP IN JOY.  HE THAT GOETH FORTH AND WEEPETH, BEARING PRECIOUS SEED, SHALL DOUBTLESS COME AGAIN WITH REJOICING, BRINGING HIS SHEAVES WITH HIM……Psalm  126: 5-6 KJV

Sister, you will be healed!  You will rejoice! You will have victory in Jesus!  You will move on to a life of peace and happiness, filled with God’s perfect love.  THANK YOU, LORD!

BEHOLD, I GIVE YOU THE AUTHORITY TO TRAMPLE ON SERPENTS AND SCORPIONS, AND OVER ALL THE POWER OF THE ENEMY, AND NOTHING SHALL BY ANY MEANS HURT YOU.  NEVERTHELESS DO NOT REJOICE IN THIS, THAT THE SPIRITS ARE SUBJECT TO YOU, BUT RATHER REJOICE BECAUSE YOUR NAMES ARE WRITTEN IN HEAVEN….Luke 10:19-20NKJV

Thank you, Jesus!

 
‘I will enter His gates with thanksgiving in my heart;                                        

  I will enter His courts with praise.                                                                        

I will say this is the day that the Lord has made;                                              

                                                                I will rejoice for He has made me glad.’

                                                                ….From the hymn ‘I Will Enter His Gates’, composer unknown

In truthful speech and in the power of God; with weapons of righteousness in the right hand and in the left; through glory and dishonor, bad report and good report; genuine, yet regarded as imposters; known, yet regarded as unknown; dying, and yet we live on; beaten, and yet not killed; sorrowful, yet always rejoicing; poor, yet making many rich; having nothing, and yet possessing everything…..2 Corinthians 6: 7-10NIV.

I Am A Soldier In The Army Of God!

 

I am a soldier in the Army of God.

The Lord Jesus Christ is my Commanding Officer.

The Holy Bible is my code of conduct.

Faith, prayer, and the Word are my weapons of warfare.

I have been taught by the Holy Spirit,

Trained by experience,

Tried by adversity,

And tested by fire.

I am a volunteer in this Army,

And I am enlisted for eternity.

I will either retire in this Army at the rapture,

Or die in this Army;

But I will not get out,

sell out,

be talked out,

or be pushed out.

I am faithful, reliable, capable, and dependable.

If my God needs me, I am there!

I am a soldier.  I am not a baby.

I do not need to be pampered, petted, primed up, picked up, or pepped up.

I am a soldier.

No one has to call me, remind me, write me, visit me, entice me, or lure me.

I am a soldier.  I am not a wimp.

I am in place, saluting my King,

Obeying His orders,

praising His name,

and building His kingdom!

No one has to send me flowers, gifts, food, cards, candy,

Or give me handouts.

I do not need to be coddled, cradled, cared for, or catered to.

I am committed.

I cannot have my feelings hurt badly enough to turn me around.

I cannot be discouraged enough to turn me aside.

I cannot lose enough to cause me to quit.

When Jesus called me into this Army, I had nothing.

If I end up with nothing, I will still come out ahead.

I will win.

My God has, and will continue, to supply all of my needs.

I am more than a conqueror. 

I will always triumph.

I can do all things through Christ.

Devils cannot defeat me,

people cannot disillusion me,

Weather cannot weary me,

sickness cannot stop me.

Battles cannot beat me,

money cannot buy me.

Governments cannot silence me,

And hell cannot handle me.

I am a soldier.

Even death cannot destroy me.

For when my Commander calls me from this battlefield,

He will promote me to Captain and

Then allow me to rule with Him.

I am a soldier in God’s Army,

And I am marching to claim the victory.

I will not give up.

I will not turn around.

I am a soldier, marching heaven bound!

Here I stand!  Will you stand with me?

 

…Written by B.J. Morbitzer

 

 We worship you, Lord!  We exalt you, Jesus!

 

Thank you , Lord!

***For more on this subject, please visit the Sections OUR REAL FATHERJOY IN JESUSTHE FREEDOM OF THE HOLY SPIRIT, GOD’S WORDTHE WISDOM OF PROVERBSHAPPIER HOLIDAYS, and FINDING PEACE .

God’s Word

Dear Sister, many Bible verses apply to our life situations.  Some Scripture that we include here may not seem relevant to you, but may be meant for someone else.  We do not always understand why the Lord leads us to include or discuss a particular Scripture, but we are obedient to his perfect will.

     Scripture is taken from the New International Version  (NIV) unless otherwise stated.

And do not call anyone on earth ‘father’, for you have one Father, and he is in heaven…Matthew 23:9

Heal me, O Lord, and I will be healed; save me and I will be saved, for you are the one I praise….Jeremiah 17:14

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God……2 Corinthians 1:3-4

They have greatly oppressed me from my youth, but they have not gained the victory over me.  Plowmen have plowed my back and made their furrows long.  But the Lord is righteous; he has cut me free from the cords of the wicked…….Psalm 129:2-4

Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another.  Forgive as the Lord forgave you….And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him….Colossians 3:13-14,17

Dear friends, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, because many false prophets have gone out into the world.  This is how you can recognized the Spirit of God:  Every spirit that acknowledges that Jesus Christ has come in the flesh is from God, but every spirit that does not acknowledge Jesus is not from God.  This is the spirit of the antichrist, which you have heard is coming and even now is already in the world…..1 John 4:1-3

Give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast ye your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn again and rend you…..Matthew 7:6KJV

When I say to the wicked, ‘O wicked man, you will surely die’, and you do not speak out to dissuade him from his ways, that wicked man will die for his sin, and I will hold you accountable for his blood.  But if you do warn the wicked man to turn from his ways and he does not do so, he will die for his sin, but you will have saved yourself……Ezekiel 33:8-9

Though my mother and father forsake me, the Lord will receive me.  Teach me your way, O Lord: lead me in a straight path because of my oppressors…….Psalm 27:10-11

Because God has said,’Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.’  So we say with confidence,’ The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid.  What can man do to me?’…..Hebrews 13:5-6

Be strong and courageous.  Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you….Deuteronomy 31:6

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you.  I do not give to you as the world gives.  Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid……John 14:27

Light has come into the world, but men loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil.  Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that his deeds will be exposed.  But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what he has done has been done through God……John 3:19-21

So do not be afraid of them.  There is nothing concealed that will not be disclosed or hidden that will not be made known.  What I tell you in the dark, speak in the daylight, what is whispered in your ear, proclaim from the roofs….Matthew 10:26-27

If the Son therefore shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed…..John 8:36KJV

And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free….John 8:32KJV

The eyes of the Lord are on the righteous and his ears are attentive to their cry: the face of the Lord is against those who do evil, to cut off the memory of them from the earth….Psalm 34:15-16

If you have been trapped by what you said, ensnared by the words of your mouth, then do this, my son, to free yourself, since you have fallen into your neighbor’s hands; go and humble yourself; press your plea with your neighbor!….Proverbs 6:2-3

The nations will see your righteousness, and all the kings your glory; You will be called by a new name that the mouth of the Lord will bestow….Isaiah 62:2

Sing to God, sing praise to his name, extol him who rides on the clouds- his name is the Lord- and rejoice before him.  A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling.  God sets the lonely in families, he leads forth the prisoners with singing; but the rebellious live in a sun-scorched land…..Psalm 68:4-6

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!…..2 Corinthians 5:17

I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business.  Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you….John 15:15

I the Lord search the heart and examine the mind, to reward a man according to his conduct, according to what his deeds deserve….Jeremiah 17:10

Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged…..Colossians 3:21

Rejoice in the Lord always.  I will say it again: Rejoice!  Let your gentleness be evident to all.  The Lord is near.  Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.  Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable- if anything is excellent or praiseworthy- think about such things……Phillipians 4:4-8

In my anguish I cried to the Lord, and he answered by setting me free……Psalm 118:5

For God so loved the world, that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish, but have eternal life…..John 3:16

For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins…..Colossians 1:13-14

I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you….Ezekiel 36:26

Men of perverse heart shall be far from me: I will have nothing to do with evil…..Psalm 101:4

But make up your mind not to worry beforehand how you will defend yourselves.  For I will give you words and wisdom that none of your adversaries will be able to resist or contradict.  You will be betrayed even by parents, brothers, relatives, and friends, and they will put some of you to death.  All men will hate you because of me.  But not a hair of your head will perish.  By standing firm you will gain life…..Luke 21:14-19

Now Jesus’ mother and brothers came to see him, but they were not able to get near him because of the crowd.  Someone told him,’Your mother and brothers are standing outside wanting to see you.’  He replied, ‘My mother and brothers are those who hear God’s word and put it into practice.’…….Luke 8:19-21

Do not judge, or you too will be judged.  For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.  Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?  How can you say to your brother,’ Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye?   You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye…..Matthew 7:1-5

Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you…..Matthew 7:7

No good tree bears bad fruit, nor does a bad tree bear good fruit.  Each tree is recognized by its own fruit.  People do not pick figs from thornbushes or grapes from briers.  The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart.  For out of the overflow of his heart, his mouth speaks…..Luke 6:43-45

The Wisdom of Proverbs

Dear Sister,  I love Proverbs; it’s my favorite book in the Bible.  I especially love the proverbs of Solomon.  Proverbs is a very short, easy-to-read book and I encourage you to read all of it.  Here are some proverbs that speak to my heart. All are from the NIV unless otherwise mentioned.  I hope you enjoy them,  Sister Renee

Better a dry crust with peace and quiet than a house full of feasting with strife…Pr.17:1

He who brings trouble on his family will inherit only wind…Pr.11:29

If a man pays back evil for good, evil will never leave his house…Pr.17:13

A good name is more desirable than great riches; to be esteemed is better than silver or gold…Pr.22:1

Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall…Pr.16:18

Do not make friends with a hot-tempered man, do not associate with one easily angered, for you may learn his ways and get yourself ensnared…Pr.22:24-25

Even a child is known by his actions, by whether his conduct is pure and right…Pr.20:11

How useless to spread a net in full view of all the birds!  These men lie in wait for their own blood; they waylay only themselves!  Such is the end of all who go after ill-gotten gain; it takes away the lives of those who get it…Pr.1:17-19

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight…Pr.3:5-6

Have no fear of sudden disaster or of the ruin that overtakes the wicked…Pr.3:25

There are six things the Lord hates, seven that are destestable to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked schemes, feet that are quick to rush into evil, a false witness who pours out lies, and a man who stirs up dissension among brothers…Pr.6:16-19

When the storm has swept by, the wicked are gone, but the righteous stand firm forever…Pr.10:25

When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom…Pr.11:2

When the righteous prosper, the city rejoices; when the wicked perish, there are shouts of joy…Pr.11:10

A righteous man cares for the needs of his animal, but the kindest acts of the wicked are cruel..Pr.12:10

The mocker seeks wisdom and finds none, but knowledge comes easily to the discerning…Pr.14:6

A large population is a king’s glory, but without subjects a prince is ruined…Pr.14:28

The Lord works out everything for his own ends- even the wicked for a day of disaster…Pr.16:4

Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed..Pr.16:3

He who winks with his eye is plotting perversity; he who purses his lips is bent on evil…Pr.16:30

A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity…Pr.17:17

Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent…Pr.17:28

A fool finds no pleasure in understanding, but delights in airing his own opinions…Pr.18:2

A man’s own folly ruins his life, yet his heart rages against the Lord…Pr.19:3

A hot-tempered man must pay the penalty; if you rescue him, you will have to do it again..Pr.19:19

Do not eat the food of a stingy man, do not crave his delicacies; for he is the kind of man who is always thinking about the cost…Pr. 23:6-7

Whoever says to the guilty,’You are innocent’- peoples will curse him and nations denounce him.  But it will go well with those who convict the guilty, and rich blessing will come upon them…Pr. 24:24-25

If your enemy is hungry, give him food to eat; if he is thirsty, give him water to drink.  In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head, and the Lord will reward you..Pr. 25:21-22

Better to live on a corner of the roof than share the house with a quarrelsome wife…Pr.25:24

Like a bad tooth or a lame foot is reliance on the unfaithful in times of trouble…Pr.25:19

By wisdom a house is built, and through understanding it is established; through knowledge its rooms are filled with rare and beautiful treasures..Pr.24:3-4

Do not fret because of evil men or be envious of the wicked, for the evil man has no future hope, and the lamp of the wicked will be snuffed out…Pr.24:19-20

As a dog returns to its vomit, so a fool repeats his folly…Pr.26:11

Like one who seizes a dog by the ears is a passer-by who meddles in a quarrel not his own…Pr.26:17

Like a madman shooting firebrands or deadly arrows is a man who deceives his neighbor and says, ‘I was only joking!’..Pr.26:18-19

As charcoal to embers and as wood to fire, so is a quarrelsome man for kindling strife…Pr.26:21

If a man digs a pit, he will fall into it; If a man rolls a stone, it will roll back on him…..Pr.26:27

A lying tongue hates those it hurts….Pr.26:28

Let another praise you and not your own mouth; someone else, and not your own lips…..Pr.27:2

Stone is heavy and sand a burden, but provocation by a fool is heavier than both…Pr.27:3

Anger is cruel and fury overwhelming, but who can stand before jealousy?…Pr.27:4

The leech has two daughters. ‘Give! Give!’ they cry…Pr.30:15

A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control…Pr.29:11

An angry man stirs up dissension, and a hot-tempered one commits many sins…Pr.29:22

A man’s pride brings him low, but a man of lowly spirit gains honor…Pr.29:23

Reading Spotlight

LOOK UNDER THIS HEADING ON THE LEFT MENU TO CLICK ON EACH BOOK REVIEW.

     LUKE 17:3 MINISTRIES maintains a ‘suggested reading’ list of books which we feel can be helpful to those in our situation.  They may give advice, or be inspirational and uplifting.

     Almost all of the books in our library are written by therapists or psychologists who specialize in family counseling and emotional or spiritual abuse.  Many are Christian counselors, psychologists, or pastors.  Please keep in mind that reading these books, or anything written on our site, should not take the place of talking over your  family issues with your own pastor or therapist; however, we hope you will benefit from the insights they can provide.

Our Real Father

YOU CAN CLICK ON ARTICLES UNDER THIS HEADING ON THE LEFT MENU.
 
I WILL BE A FATHER TO YOU, AND YOU WILL BE MY SONS AND DAUGHTERS, SAYS THE LORD ALMIGHTY….2Corinthians 6:18NIV
And because ye are sons, God hath sent forth the Spirit of his Son into your hearts, crying, Abba, Father. Wherefore thou art no more a servant, but a son; and if a son, then an heir of God through Christ…Galatians 4:6-7 KJV
For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, they are the sons of God. For ye have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear; but ye have received the spirit of adoption, whereby we cry, Abba, Father. The Spirit itself beareth witness with our spirit, that we are children of God: and if children, then heirs; heirs of God and joint-heirs with Christ; if so be that we suffer with him, that we may also be glorified together….Romans 8:14-17KJV
Ye are all the children of light, and the children of the day: we are not of the night, nor of the darkness… 1 Thessalonians 5:5KJV
He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing….Zephaniah 3:17
Yes, Sister, your Father delights in you because you are His precious child! Hallelujah! Glory to God!
The Lord has put upon my heart to write an article about the biblical duties of a proper parent, and then to do a study on the heart of God, and all the characteristics of a perfect parent that are manifest in him. This study will be called ‘Who’s Your Daddy?’ Please read this study by clicking on the articles to the left. Thank you for your patience and understanding as I wait on the word of the Lord, and please pray for his guidance as I perceive and record his perfect will. I pray that this study will be a blessing to you.

Joy in Jesus

YOU CAN CLICK ON ARTICLES UNDER THIS HEADING ON THE LEFT MENU.

For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life….John 3:16 KJV.

Thank you, Father!

KING OF KINGS, LORD OF LORDS, MESSIAH, REDEEMER, SAVIOR, TEACHER, ALPHA & OMEGA, SON OF GOD, SON OF MAN,  LION OF JUDAH, GOOD SHEPHERD, MASTER, RABBI, LAMB OF GOD, LIGHT OF THE WORLD, RIGHTEOUS JUDGE, ROCK OF OUR SALVATION, PRINCE OF PEACE,  IMMANUEL!

Bless that Wonderful Name of Jesus!  

JESUS IS LORD!

     Sister, did you know that the King of Kings is your brother?:

He replied,’ My mother and brothers are those who hear God’s word and put it into practice.’….Luke 8:21 NIV.

     And that you are his sister?:

For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother………Matthew 12:50 NIV.

For whoever does the will of God is My brother and My sister and mother…..Mark 3:35 NKJV.

 

     Did you know the the Lord of Lords is your friend?:

I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business.  Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you…..John 15:15 NIV.

Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends……John 15:13 KJV.

 

     Do you know that He is your Father?:

And he said unto her, Daughter, thy faith hath made thee whole; go in peace, and be whole of thy plague….Mark 5:34 KJV.

 

     Whenever I read those scriptures, I am struck by how awesome they are.  How great is our God!  How deep is his love and caring for us!  Thank you Jesus.

 

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you.  I do not give to you as the world gives.  Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid……John 14:27 NIV.

Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart; and ye shall find rest unto your souls.  For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light….Matthew 11:28-30 KJV.

    Hallelujah!  Jesus will lift your heart!  He will give you peace and joy!

 

    Sister, whenever I need a little lift, I have a secret home remedy.  I just put some old-fashioned gospel music on the stereo and sing and dance along.  We praise and worship Jesus through song, and praise songs fill us with joy and gratitude for His grace.  Even the titles are uplifting:  I’ll Fly Away, I’ve Got a Mansion Just Over the Hilltop, The Old Rugged Cross, There is a River, Give Me Oil for My Lamp (keep me burnin’), Bless That Wonderful Name of Jesus, I Go to the Rock, O Happy Day, I Shall Not be Moved, Caught Up to Meet Him…..

     I believe that ‘There is Power, power, wonder-working power, in the Blood of the Lamb.’ I have felt that power in my own life!

     I know for a fact that ‘Because He Lives, I Can Face Tomorrow, because He lives, all fear is gone’!  (Bill & Gloria Gaither)  The Gaithers’ Homecoming videos and CDs are some of my very favorites- they are so uplifting, worshipful, and joyful.

     Sister, if you need a quick pick-me-up, get some good old-fashioned, hand-clappin’ church music and put it on your stereo.  Raise your hands to your Lord and praise Him!  Sing and dance to Him!

You will go out in joy and be led forth in peace; the mountains and hills will burst into song before you, and all the trees of the field will clap their hands…..Isaiah 55:12 NIV.

Shout for joy to the Lord, all the earth, burst into jubilant song with  music; make music to the Lord with the harp, with the harp and the sound of singing, with trumpets and the blast of the ram’s horn- shout for  joy before the Lord, the King…Psalm 98:4-6 NIV.

Let them praise his name with dancing and make music to him with tambourine and harp.  For the Lord takes delight in his people; he crowns the humble with salvation.  Let the saints rejoice in this honor and sing for joy on their beds….Psalm 149 4-5 NIV.

Just A Closer Walk With Thee

(Traditional)

I am weak, but Thou art strong;

Jesus, keep me from all wrong.

I’ll be satisfied as long

As I walk, let me walk close to Thee.

Just a closer walk with Thee;

Grant it , Jesus, is my plea.

Daily walking close to Thee,

Let it Be, dear Lord, let it be.

 

     Praise God- if we have Jesus in our lives, we don’t need anything else.  If we have Him, we have everything!

IF THE SON THEREFORE SHALL MAKE YOU FREE, YE SHALL BE FREE INDEED….John 8:36.

Hallelujah and Glory to God!  We exalt you, Jesus.  Thank you, Lord.  You are worthy of all honor and praise.  We love you, Jesus!

The Freedom of the Holy Spirit

***Please look on the left menu for articles under this section.  

NOW THE  LORD IS IN THE SPIRIT, AND WHERE THE SPIRIT OF THE LORD IS, THERE IS FREEDOM……………..2 Corinthians 3:17 NIV

TAKE THE HELMET OF SALVATION, AND THE SWORD OF THE SPIRIT, WHICH IS THE WORD OF GOD…..Ephesians 6:17 NIV

AND I WILL ASK THE FATHER, AND HE WILL GIVE YOU ANOTHER COUNSELOR TO BE WITH YOU FOREVER- THE SPIRIT OF TRUTH.  THE WORLD CANNOT ACCEPT HIM,  BECAUSE IT NEITHER SEES HIM NOR KNOWS HIM.  BUT YOU WILL KNOW HIM, FOR HE LIVES WITH YOU AND WILL BE IN YOU.  I WILL NOT LEAVE YOU AS ORPHANS, I WILL COME TO YOU……….John 14:16-18 NIV

BUT WHEN HE, THE SPIRIT OF TRUTH COMES, HE WILL GUIDE YOU INTO ALL TRUTH.  HE WILL NOT SPEAK ON HIS OWN;  HE WILL SPEAK ONLY WHAT HE HEARS, AND HE WILL TELL YOU WHAT IS YET TO COME……John  16:13 NIV 

AND YE SHALL KNOW THE TRUTH, AND THE TRUTH SHALL SET YOU FREE…..John 8:32 KJV

GIFTS OF THE SPIRIT

The Word of Wisdom

The Word of Knowledge

Faith

The Gifts of Healing

The Working of Miracles

Prophecy

Discerning of Spirits

Tongues

Interpretation of Tongues

(1 Corinthians 12:8-10)

Prophesying

Serving (Ministry)

Teaching

Encouraging

Giving

Leadership

Showing Mercy

(Romans 12:6-8)

BY THEIR FRUIT YOU WILL RECOGNIZE THEM.  DO PEOPLE PICK GRAPES FROM THORNBUSHES, OR FIGS FROM THISTLES?  LIKEWISE, EVERY GOOD TREE BEARS GOOD FRUIT, BUT A BAD TREE BEARS BAD FRUIT.  A GOOD TREE CANNOT BEAR BAD FRUIT, AND A BAD TREE CANNOT BEAR GOOD FRUIT.  EVERY TREE THAT DOES NOT BEAR GOOD FRUIT IS CUT DOWN AND THROWN INTO THE FIRE.  THUS, BY THEIR FRUIT YOU WILL RECOGNIZE THEM……MATTHEW  7: 16-20 NIV.

THE ACTS OF THE SINFUL NATURE

Sexual Immorality, Impurity, & Debauchery

Idolatry & Witchcraft

Hatred

Discord

Jealousy 

Fits of Rage

Selfish Ambition

Dissensions

Factions

Envy

Drunkeness, Orgies, and the Like

(Galatians 5:19-21)

THE FRUIT OF THE SPIRIT 

LOVE

JOY

PEACE

PATIENCE

KINDNESS

GOODNESS

FAITHFULNESS

GENTLENESS

SELF-CONTROL

(Galatians 5:22-23)

IF WE LIVE IN THE SPIRIT, LET US ALSO WALK IN THE SPIRIT…..Galatians 5:25  KJV

 

DO NOT BE DECEIVED:  GOD CANNOT BE MOCKED.   A MAN REAPS WHAT HE SOWS.  THE ONE WHO SOWS TO PLEASE HIS SINFUL NATUREFROM THAT NATURE WILL REAP DESTRUCTIONTHE ONE WHO SOWS TO PLEASE THE SPIRIT, FROM THE SPIRIT WILL REAP ETERNAL LIFE…..Galatians 6:7-8 NIV

Receiving a Word From The Lord

What joy there is in having our Father speak to us.  Although he has millions and millions of children, he will answer each one’s prayer.  His Spirit will speak directly to you and you will know that He is there and that he loves you!  Thank you, Abba Father!

 

***YOU CAN CLICK ON ARTICLES UNDER THIS HEADING  ON THE LEFT MENU-

Finding Peace

***YOU CAN CLICK ON ARTICLES UNDER THIS HEADING ON THE LEFT MENU.

 

***For related topics, see Sections on SETTING & ENFORCING LIMITS & BOUNDARIESFORGIVENESSREPROBATES & CUTTING TIESHAPPIER HOLIDAYSOUR REAL FATHERJOY IN JESUSTHE FREEDOM OF THE HOLY SPIRIT, CLAIMING THE VICTORYGOD’S WORD, and THE WISDOM OF PROVERBS .

The Lord’s Links!

Our beautiful banner graphic was designed by Ezekiel 33 graphics.  They offer a great selection of free Christian graphics. http://ezekiel33graphics.homestead.com

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For Answers to Tough Questions ( Unconditional Forgiveness, Forgiveness Without Repentance, Dealing With Rejection, When Your Attempts at Reconciliation Are Rebuffed, etc.):

     Radio Bible Class Ministries (est. 1938) has articles and books written by many pastors and ministers.

Click HERE FOR ONE ARTICLE and HERE FOR ANOTHER ARTICLE.

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Don’t miss this great interview on forgiveness with David Augsburger, Professor of Pastoral Care at Fuller Theological Seminary. CLICK HERE TO READ OR LISTEN.

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What about ‘Honoring’ abusive parents?  See Christianity Today’s article:

http://www.christianitytoday.com/tcw/2006/mayjun/4.38.html

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For a great article on how your abuser will lie about you to others and try to turn them against you read  ‘The Smear Campaign’:

http://groups.msn.com/NARCISSISTICPERSONALITYDISORDER/thesmearcampaignoftheabuser.msnw

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Why are you sticking around, or coming back for more??? Great article and checklist on Traumatic Bonding with Abusers and Psychopaths:

http://www.womansavers.com/relationship-articles.asp?a=127

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***Don’t miss the wonderful website Light’s House. It’s chock full of great articles and resources on Toxic Parents,the things they do, and how to deal with them. I highly recommend the section on Reducing Contact, especially Light’s step-by-step guide and resources for protecting yourself when your abusive parent will not leave you alone.  CLICK HERE to visit this very helpful site.

 

Unsure of exactly what you’re dealing with? Check out the Characteristics Of Narcissistic Mothers. Click HERE.

For a list of unusual Strange Psycho Behaviors, Click HERE.

For a list of Abuse You May Not Realize is really abuse, Click HERE.

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For a healthy dose of common sense, don’t miss Anna Valerious’  well-written, fascinating, and educational blog Narcissists Suck  CLICK HERE.

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Jam-packed with educational material and helpful, healing suggestions, make sure to check out this wonderful resource whose motto is “The Pain Stops Here.” (PLEASE NOTE: This is a secular forum, not a Christian forum)- Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers.com. CLICK HERE.

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A favorite excuse for abuse- “I’m Not Perfect”- or should it really be “I’m Just Plain Evil”?  Check out Soaring Dove’s great analysis on her blog, CLICK HERE.

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Are you dealing with a Narcissist?  For the most extensive study on narcissistic abusers and how to deal with them, check out Dr. Sam Vaknin’s website.

 *******    WHY do Narcissists just love to ruin our holidays (and other good times)????

Click on:   http://samvak.tripod.com/journal40.html  *******

DOWNLOAD THESE E-BOOKS BY DR. SAM VAKNIN AT NO CHARGE:

Narcissism Book of Quotes

http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/NPDQuotes.rtf

Malignant Self Love – Narcissism Revisited EXCERPTS

http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/MSL2excerpts.rtf

The Developmental Psychology of Psychopathology

http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/development.rtf

The Conundrums of Psychology

http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/psychology.rtf

Here are more very helpful sites from Dr. Sam Vaknin:

ABUSE in RELATIONSHIPS RESOURCES

ARTICLES

What is Abuse? The various faces of abusive behavior and coping methods.

http://malignantselflove.tripod.com/abuse.html

 
Spousal and Domestic Abuse advice
 
 
Abusive Relationships Newsletter Archive
 
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/narcissisticabuse

‘Traumatic Bonding’ and the Psychology of Torture

http://malignantselflove.tripod.com/torturepsychology.html

The cultural and social dimensions of traumas – Traumas as Social Interactions:

http://malignantselflove.tripod.com/trauma.html

The narcissist and his family – The malignant narcissist abuses his family

http://malignantselflove.tripod.com/faq22.html

The narcissist in the workplace – abuse and bullying in corporate settings

http://malignantselflove.tripod.com/faq81.html

 
Articles about verbal, emotional, and spousal abuse, domestic violence, and workplace bullying

WEB SITES and COMMUNITIES

Domestic Violence FAQs

http://www.suite101.com/topic_page.cfm/6514/2051

FAQs regarding abusive relationships and the psychodynamics of abusers.

Narcissistic Personality Disorder

http://www.suite101.com/welcome.cfm/npd

Discussions, journal entries and links regarding the Narcissistic Personality Disorder and relationships with abusive narcissists.

Emotional and Verbal Abuse

http://www.suite101.com/welcome.cfm/verbal_emotional_abuse

Discussions, journal entries and links regarding verbal and emotional abuse in relationships.

Spousal Abuse and Domestic Violence

http://www.suite101.com/welcome.cfm/spousal_domestic_abuse

Discussions, journal entries and links regarding domestic violence and spousal abuse.

Open Site Family Violence

http://open-site.org/Society/Issues/Violence_and_Abuse/Family_Violence/

Abusive Relationships FAQs

http://malignantselflove.tripod.com/indexqa.html

FAQs, articles, chat transcripts and resources regarding relationships with abusers

 
More Abusive Relationships FAQs
 
 
 
 
The Infinite Mind Radio Show – Narcissism
 
 
Listen to ‘Psychopaths in Suits’ on Australia’s ABC Radio
 
 
Or read the transcript here:
 

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Are you dealing with a relative who has no conscience? Check out lovefraud.com for help in identifying, dealing with, and leaving sociopaths, including personality traits of sociopaths, manipulation techniques they use, the ‘pity play’, how to spot a con artist, and recommended books.  The site is geared toward spouses and domestic partners, but the info it gives is relevant to all relationships with any family member or friend.

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Great links for learning about and dealing with abusive relationships with the Borderline Personality Disordered, Narcissists and Psychopaths:

Adult Children of Dysfunctional Families: www.adultchildrenofdysfunctionalfamilies.com

The Psychopath Free Forums:  http://thepsychopath.freeforums.org

Psychopath Group:  http://groups.msn.com/PSYCHOPATH

The Nook For Victims of Those With BPD:  www.thenook4pds.com

Narcissistic Personality Disorder Group: http://groups.msn.com/NARCISSISTICPERSONALITYDISORDER

For Adult Children of Narcissists and Psychopaths:  http://groups.msn.com/ADULTCHILDRENOFNARCISSISTSPSYCHOPATHS

 Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board:  http://www.voicelessness.com

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BY POPULAR DEMAND 🙂  For information on Deliverance and Spiritual Warfare: (be sure to check the books available on most of these sites as well):

FREE download of Gene & Earline Moody’s The Deliverance Manual-  http://www.lakehamiltonbiblecamp.com/man/d-index.htm

Demonbusters website:   http://demonbuster.com

Francis Frangipane:  http://www.frangipane.org

Elijah House- John & Paula Sandford:   http://www.elijahhouse.org

Streams Ministries- John Paul Jackson: http://www.streamsministries.com

Jonas Clark Ministries:   http://jonasclark.com

Global Harvest Ministries- Doris Wagner:   http://globalharvestministries.org/index,asp?action=power

Jesus Work Ministry

Spoken Word Deliverance Ministry

Deliverance From Demons- Rev. Bill McGinnis

Christian Warfare- with Intercessor Team

Recommended books:

The Handbook For Spiritual Warfare, Dr. Ed Murphy

Strongman’s His Name…What’s His Game,  Drs. Jerry & Carol Robeson

Strongman’s His Name, II,  Drs. Jerry & Carol Robeson

Spiritual Warfare,   Richard Ing

Demons, The Answer Book,   Lester Sumrall

How To Cast Out Demons, Doris M. Wagner

The Three Battlegrounds, Francis Frangipane (and other books by Francis Frangipane)

Exposing Spiritual Witchcraft, Jonas Clark

Come Out! Handbook For The Serious Deliverance Minister, Jonas Clark

Needless Casualties Of  War, John Paul Jackson

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To study the Jezebel and Ahab Spirits:

     Jonas Clark, Spirit of Life Ministries  (Jezebel, Seducing Goddess of War!)  http://www.jonasclark.com/jezebelbookreview.htm

     Unmasking the Jezebel Spirit, by John Paul Jackson

     The Latter Rain Page   http://www.latter-rain.com/eschae/jezebel.htm

     Sure Word Ministries http://sureword.faithweb.com/discerningjez.html

    Confronting Jezebel: Discerning and Defeating The Spirit Of Control, by Steve Sampson

     Jezebel or Ahab Spirit- Article by Pam Clark-   http://www.prophetic.net/ahab.htm 

     End-Time Deliverance Ministry-  http://www.demonbuster.com/zcurseofaaj.html

  For A List Of Characteristics Of The Jezebel Spirit:     http://www.church-systems.com/JezebelCharacteristics.htm  

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Christian Resources:

     AmazingBible.org- A mega site of Bible, Christian, and religious information, studies and commentaries            http://www.AmazingBible.org

     ChristSites- A Christian search engine listing many great websites  http://christsites.com

     Praize- an online Christian Community including search engine, chat, news, shopping, etc.  http://www.praize.com 

     Fish the Net- an excellent index of Evangelistic sites and source of information.   http://www.fishthe.net

Uplifting Down-Home Gospel Music:

     Try the Gaither Homecoming Series videos, CDs, and tapes.  http://www.gaither.com 

Inspiration- Do Not Miss This Site- It is such a Blessing:

      http://wandascountryhome.com/spirit-index.html

Cancer Foundation For The Hopeless and Cornerstone of Hope Ministries, Pastor Annmarie Fontanez, Overseer:

       http:// www.cornerstone-of-hope.com.  

To Order Books:

   Christian Book Distributors:  http://www.christianbook.com

   Amazon-   http://www.amazon.com 

Helpful Definitions

***We call your attention to the important differences between Apologize/Apology  and RepentJudge and RebukeForgive and Reconcile, and Honor and Obey, Submit, Worship,  & Idolatry.

APOLOGIZE:        to make an apology

APOLOGY:          a statement of regret for having done wrong or hurt someone’s feelings

FORGIVE:            to cease to feel resentment against (an offender), pardon (one’s enemies); to give up resentment of

HONOR:               to regard or treat with honor or respect; a showing of usually merited respect

IDOLATER:          a worshiper of idols; a person that admires intensely and often blindly one that is not usually a subject of worship

IDOLATRY:          immoderate attachment or devotion to something

JUDGE:                to form an opinion about through careful weighing of evidence and testing of premises; to hold an opinion; to form an estimate or evaluation of

OBEY:                   to follow the commands or guidance of

REBUKE:            v:  to criticize sharply, reprimand; to turn back or keep down, check  n:  an expression of strong disapproval

RECONCILE:      to restore to friendship or harmony

REPENT:             to turn from sin and dedicate oneself to the amendment of one’s life; to feel regret or contrition; to change one’s mind

REPROBATE:     rejected as worthless or not standing a test; condemned and foreordained to damnation; morally abandoned, depraved; condemned strongly as unworthy, unacceptable, or evil

RESTITUTION:    a restoration of something to its rightful owner; a making good of or giving an equivalent for some injury

SUBMIT:               to yield to governance or authority

WORSHIP:           to honor or reverence as a divine being or supernatural power

Source:  Webster’s Ninth Collegiate Dictionary, Oxford American Dictionary

Prayer List for Pets

Do animals have souls?  Do they go to heaven? Remember, animals do not sin, so they don’t require salvation. I believe that since heaven is a perfect place where there will be no more sorrow and we will have everything we need to make us happy, our pets will be with us, too. But judge for yourself-
 
“And for your lifeblood I will surely demand an accounting.  I will demand an accounting from every animal.  And from each man, too.  I will demand an accounting for the life of his fellow man”….Genesis 9:5.
 
“I also thought, ‘As for men, God tests them so that they may see that they are like the animals.  Man’s fate is like that of the animals; the same fate awaits them both:  As one dies, so dies the other.  All have the same breath; man has no advantage over the animal.  Everything is meaningless.  All go to the same place;  all come from dust, and to dust all return.  Who knows if the spirit of man rises upward and if the spirit of the animal goes down into the earth?'”…Ecclesiates 3: 18-21.
 
“For God was pleased to have all his fullness dwell in him, and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether things on earth or things in heaven, by making peace through his blood, shed on the cross.  Once you were alienated from God and were enemies in your minds because of your evil behavior.  But now he has reconciled you by Christ’s physical body through death to present you holy in his sight, without blemish and free from accusation- if you continue in your faith, established and firm, not moved from the hope held out in the gospel.  This is the gospel that you heard and that has been proclaimed to every creature under heaven, and of which I, Paul, have become a servant”…Colossians 1:19-23.
 
“And the wolf and the lamb shall feed together, and the lion shall eat straw like the bullock”…Isaiah 65:25.
 
“The wolf also shall dwell with the lamb, and the leopard shall lie down with the kid; and the calf and the young lion and the fatling together; and a little child shall lead them.  And the cow and the bear shall feed; their young ones shall lie down together: and the lion shall eat straw like the ox”…Isaiah 11:6-7.
 
 
 
What do you think?
 
 
A RIGHTEOUS MAN CARES FOR THE NEEDS OF HIS ANIMAL, BUT THE KINDEST ACTS OF THE WICKED ARE CRUEL…..Proverbs 12: 10
 
      When I was going through one of the worst times in my life- being cut off by my birth-mother and betrayed by other family members- my children, my husband, and I were all heartbroken.  And the Lord sent us a little “angel” in the form of a white American Bulldog puppy named Junior.  We had always had dogs, but Junior was just the best!  Never any trouble, smart, easy to train, lovable, sweet, gentle, and funny, he was just what the doctor ordered to kiss away my tears and get us all through such a low point in our lives.  He brightened up our family and cheered us all.  God gave us just the medicine we needed to get through the bad times.  Thank you, Father!
 
 
      As I write this, Junior is 11 years old, and still doing well, praise the Lord.  He fathered some great dogs, and we have one of his daughters, Clemenza.  His sweet and gentle temperament made Junior the perfect Therapy Dog, and he has logged over 250 visits to nursing homes and hospitals.  Clemenza also has over 150 visits to her credit.  They have brought joy to hundreds of folks, but most of all they have brought joy to me and my family.
 
      As convinced as I was 11 years ago that God gave us this puppy to bring the joy back into our lives and help us forget our sorrows, I’m even more convinced now that I have heard from many survivors of abuse and family abandonment who were also helped through the hard times by their pets.  For some folks, a pet might be the only stability left in their lives after a family estrangement, the only living creature who seems to love us no matter what. We’re all very attached to our pets, and for many of us, they might be the only family we have left.  We love them and they mean the world to us. Isn’t our Father good?  He knows just what we need before we even know it! 
 
     So in the spirit of acknowledging our little “gifts from God”, this is a Prayer List for our Pets.  Please feel free to contact us with your pet’s name and add him or her to the list.  Just e-mail me at luke173@hotmail.com or use the Contact Us link on the left menu.  And please remember all the pets on our list in your prayers.  May God bless ALL his creatures.
 
***Sisters and Brothers, please pray for our Junior who is 12 years old and was just diagnosed with liver cancer and has been given 4-6 months to live. And for our family too that God has his hand on all this as it is very hard for all of us.  I know he is working to keep Junior doing well for as long as possible and to prepare us all. Thank you so much for your prayers.  We are so grateful.
 
***Praise Report:  It is 3 1/2 months after Junior’s diagnosis and he is doing well. He has lost some weight but his appetite is good, he still likes slow walks in the woods and drives in the car, he is barking to back up Clemenza when the doorbell rings, and he’s even playful at times. Yesterday he even played a little tug of war.  Pretty good for an old man, even one who isn’t sick!  The vet said Junior’s liver is in pretty bad shape and he’s amazed that he’s doing so well.  He said most dogs with a lot less problems than Junior would not be doing the things he’s doing.  I know this is because God is giving us a miracle! He is so good!  He is answering our prayers and giving us time with our boy- good quality time!  Thank you Lord!  And thank you all our friends for your prayers.  Please don’t stop! We appreciate them so much.
 
***December 14, 2009- Today at 1:20 PM our boy Junior went peacefully over the Rainbow Bridge surrounded by his entire loving family. We thank God for giving us the priceless gift of time, 4 1/2 good months after Junior’s diagnosis and 12 1/2 wonderful years. We are also so thankful for a peaceful death. Our family is heartbroken and Junior’s daughter Clemenza is very upset.  She is almost 9 years old and has never been without her father. Please keep her and our family in your prayers for comfort and healing our broken hearts.  We are so grateful for all the prayers you sent our way.  Words cannot express how much we appreciate you taking the time to pray for us. 
 
***Junior Pittelli***
July 11, 1997-December 14, 2009
A sweet and gentle heart in the body of a gladiator, Therapy Dog extraordinaire, Vietnam Veteran’s mascot who marched in parades with his “brothers”, family guardian, loving father of six, devoted friend, faithful companion, and Mommy’s Boy.
Rest in Peace Big Boy.  We will always love you.

November 2013~ Please pray for Junior’s daughter, our sweet Clemenza. She is 12 1/2 years old, recently bloated and as a result of the X-rays taken to save her at the Emergency Clinic, we have now found out that she has inoperable liver cancer, the same thing that took her father from us four years ago. Our family is heartbroken, we can’t believe we are going through the same trauma all over again. Please pray that we can get her diet, meds and supplements correctly balanced to prevent another bloat (her enlarged liver is squeezing her pyloric valve, which empties her stomach) and yet support her liver, that God gives us precious time and good time with her, and that he is merciful on all of us when the time comes. Thank you Prayer Warriors, we are so grateful for your prayers. If you are reading this page, I’m sure you know how much our pets mean to all of us and how hard it is to go through losing them. God bless you and your pets always.

March 4, 2014~ Clemenza has her good days and bad days. The cancer is progressing, she won’t always eat and she’s losing weight, but then she barks for food and cleans her dish, praise the Lord! She is on various supplements, medications and we feed her whatever she wants. If we make it, in two weeks we’ll be celebrating her 13th Birthday. Please keep praying for our family and especially our baby girl. God is so good, he hears and answers us. Thank you so much for your prayers.

April 28, 2014~  March 15, 2014, on her 13th Birthday, our sweet girl Clemenza peacefully passed away, surrounded by her entire loving family. We miss her terribly, but we know she’s happy now, in heaven with her father Junior, and some day we will all be together again. Praise God, he was and is always in control! Thank you dear Sisters and Brothers for all your prayers and encouragement during this sad time. It means so much to my family and me. We love and appreciate all of you and are so grateful for your kindness <3

Our Prayer List For Pets~
 

*Please pray for Cady, a 7-year old pug who has anemia, meningitis, and a compromised immune system. Thank you for your prayers.
*Please keep Rita’s husband’s puppy in prayer. She got hurt and is in pain. Thank you Prayer Warriors.
*Please pray for Muffet, an 11-year old dog who has a muscle-wasting disease, and her sister Soxs who has a skin infection. Thank you so much.
*Please pray for Pardner, a loving kitty with kidney disease and thyroid issues. Her Mom recently lost her mother and it would be very hard to lose Pardner too. Your prayers for healing are greatly appreciated, dear Prayer Warriors.
*Please cover Payton, a sweet Lab with a torn ACL who is in a lot of pain, in prayer for surgery he will undergo tomorrow, for healing and no more pain in his body. Please pray for his Mom Maria and his vet Dr. Turcotte also. Thank you and God Bless you Prayer Warriors.
*Please pray for Sammie-Sue and her brother Joey and also their Mom Fran. They are sweet 17-year old kitties. Sammie-Sue has thyroid disease and Joey has kidney failure.  Your prayers for a healthy old age and more precious time with them for Fran are greatly appreciated. Thank you so much Prayer Warriors.
*Urgent prayer is needed for Ginger, a 10-yr. old German Shepherd with kidney failure. She is not eating and is on IV fluids. Please also pray for her sister pup Tiya, a 3-yr. old Lab who has nerve disease. She can’t eat because her tongue is not working. Please pray for their healing and also for their Mom. Thank you Prayer Warriors.
*Special prayer is needed for Hobo, a sweet rescue cat who is suffering from PTSD and it is greatly affecting his life. Thank you so much for your prayers.
*Please pray for Louise’s toy fox terrier who has a nasal mass that may be cancer. It cannot be biopsied because it is too close to the brain. Thank you and God bless you Prayer Warriors!
*Urgent prayer needed for Peanut, a 4-year old kitty who has sinus cancer. Please pray for a fully recovery. Thank you so much!
*Please pray for Cocoa, a 2-yr old Australian Shepherd who was hit by a car and has a broken pelvis and other injuries. Please pray that the surgery goes well and the recovery is speedy. Thank you Prayer Warriors!
*Urgent prayer needed for Kingfish, a 16-year old kitty who is not doing well. The vet says there is no hope, but he could not even find a vein to euthanize Kingfish. Please pray for his peaceful passing and also for his Mom who is caring for him at home as best as she can. Thank you so much Prayer Warriors.
Please pray for Adam the bulldog who has been diagnosed with liver cancer. Your prayers are greatly appreciated.
*Baxter Riley, in the hospital after emergency surgery for intestinal blockage and removal of a cyst that might be malignant. Thank you for your prayers for Baxter and his family.
*Please pray for Daisy, a kitty with a bladder infection and constipation. Thank you Prayer Warriors.
*Please keep PAWS of Hertford County, NC in your prayers. Thank you Prayer Warriors and God bless you.
*Please keep Monica’s two dogs in prayer. They are mother and daughter. The Mom dog Tootsie had a malignant tumor removed and is awaiting more tests in February. The daughter dog Bella has tracheal collapse. Your prayers are very much appreciated.

Marmalade
Squirmy
Katie
Moonlight Magic
Clover
Timmy
Fiona
Pierre
Seraphina
Tulula
Serendipity
Muffet
Sox
Cady
Tootsie
Pardner
Molly
Marshall
Fandango
Rindy
Rollo
Ruffles
Ripple
Razr
Fitzhugh
Emma
Payton
Ginger
Emma Kitty
Mickey
Tyson
Rudy
Grace
Emma Boy Cat
Catty
Lady Dog
Wesa
Goldie
Bella
Lucky
Ziggy
Coco
Aunt Florrie
Quasimodo
Laverne
Shirley
Fricasse
Elvis
Jake
Big Dan
Cookie
Sasha
Jerry Lee
Booker T
Mickie
Whitey
Beau
Red
Kemosabe
Dylan
Beauty
Hank
Reba
Kiki
Penny
Millie
Jackson
Ginger
Boo
Petey
Pookie
Rago
Froggy
Snickers
Curly
Coco Ellis for healing
Bobo
George
Mr. Nubbs
Peachman
Hobo
*Please keep Rudy in your prayers. He is a 15-year old kitty who is getting frail. Thank you Prayer Warriors.
*Please pray for Mr. Nubbs. He is a kitty who was born without a tail and with nerve damage to his digestive system so he cannot go to the bathroom without help. He needs surgery but the vet says that would only fix the problem temporarily. Please pray for a complete healing.
*Prayer is needed for Grace, a 1 1/2 year old therapy kitty who has neurological damage. Please pray for a total healing for sweet Grace.
*Please pray for Sister Helen’s cat Wesa who is sick and might have pneumonia, and also her pot-bellied pig who is not eating and won’t  leave the house.
*Urgent prayer is needed for Big Cat,a sweet kitty who has diabetes, has to go to the vet twice a day to test her blood sugar, and is not doing well. Please pray for Big Cat and her Mom Helen. ***Praise Report~ Big Cat is getting insulin twice a day and is doing much better. She started to improve the day after we started praying for her! Praise the Lord and great job Prayer Warriors, please continue praying. Thank you and God bless you 🙂
Zoe for healing
Frisco Malik for healing from being hit by a car
Buster, 11 years old with several health problems
Rosie, who needs surgery her owner can’t afford.  Please pray for God to provide.
Katie
Angus
Silver, a sweet cat who has lung cancer
Mr. Kitty, who is homeless and needs a new home.
*Please pray for Lobo, a large old dog who is terminally ill and whose hind legs are paralyzed. His elderly owner carries him up and down the stairs to his 2nd floor apartment and straps him into a “doggie wheelchair” to go out. They only have each other, and this devoted owner is dreading the day when he will have to lose Lobo. Lobo is happy and painfree right now. Please keep them both in prayer.
*Urgent prayer request for Bennie, a 5 year old Lhasa Apso who injured his neck and is in a lot of pain. He is a great comfort to his owner who is battling cancer.  Please pray that the Lord will guide Bennie’s vet in helping him and for a complete and quick recovery.
*Please pray for “sister and brother” Dachshunds Pepe, who has Cushing’s Disease, and Shelly, who has early-stage kidney failure and their Mom who is trying to find as much information as she can to help them.
*Please pray for the Lord to bring Alma back home. She is a lost kitty.
 
 
 IN MEMORY OF OUR RAINBOW BRIDGE LOVED ONES
 
 
AFTER DEATH
By Edwin Arnold
Farewell Master, yet not farewell.
Ware I go ye too shall dwell
I am gone before your face
A moment’s time, a little space.
When ye come ware I have stepped,
Ye will wonder why we wept.
 
 
    Sisters and brothers, I hope this beautiful poem will bless you as it has blessed me.  I believe our pets will be with us in heaven, because heaven wouldn’t be perfect without them, and we all know heaven is perfect.  Today, some of us are grieving the loss of our beloved pets.  Would you please keep the families of these pets in your prayers for a comforting touch from the Lord.  Thank you for your kindness:
 
Clemenza and Junior’s Family
Sherry’s Mom
Jake’s Family
Peachman’s Family
Abby’s family
Blazer’s family
Caesar’s family
Selena’s family
Mike’s family
Keegan’s family
Sheba’s family
Pierre’s family
Hunter’s family
Fancy’s family
Daddy’s family
Nu-Nu’s family
Bumble’s family
Opie’s family
Schindler’s family
Shelly’s Mom
Liberty’s Mom and Dad
Lucky’s family
Big Dan’s family

FAQ About Abusive, Narcissistic, And Psychopathic Relatives

Luke 17:3 Ministries FAQ~ Answers to the questions we get the most about Abusers/Narcissists/and Psychopathic Relatives:
1. Yes, they know what they’re doing.
2. Yes, they know they’re hurting you.
3. Yes, they’re doing it on purpose.

4. Yes, they can control it. They do whenever they want to impress someone.

5. Yes, they could stop if they wanted to.
6. No, they don’t love you, even if they say they do (Actions speak louder than words). They do not feel love, empathy, compassion or remorse. Your relationship is not about love. It’s about control, dominance, power, attention, “respect”, admiration, subservience.

7. No, you cannot change them. You can only change yourself.

8. Yes, there is something you can do. GET OUT. I know that’s not what you want to hear, but that’s the answer. If it takes you years to accept this, you will always regret those lost years that you could have spent living a joyful life.

“Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you, and will be a Father unto you, and ye shall be my sons and daughters, saith the Lord Almighty”…2 Corinthians 6:17-18.

Make a Donation

If you feel moved to help us do the Lord’s work by sowing into our ministry, your donation of any amount would be very helpful and most gratefully accepted. Donations are tax-deductible and may be sent to:

Luke 17:3 Ministries
P.O. Box 684
Chestertown, NY 12817

We greatly appreciate and thank you for your kindness, generosity and encouragement. May the abundant blessings of our Lord always be with you.

With love and thanks, Sister Renee

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Luke 17:3 Ministries Inc
PO Box 684, Chestertown, New York 12817, United States
Phone: We are not available by phone
 
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