Obituary for an Abuser



Maybe you’ll want to give some thought to how you’re going to be remembered, before it’s too late.  Your victims are sharpening their pencils and taking notes…….


Finally, an HONEST obituary written by Virginia Brown, daughter and survivor of the deceased, and published in the Vallejo Times-Herald on August 16-17, 2008 :


“Dolores Aguilar, born in 1929 in New Mexico, left us on Aug. 7, 2008. Dolores had no hobbies, made no contribution to society and rarely shared a kind word or deed in her life. I speak for the majority of her family when I say her presence will not be missed by many, very few tears will be shed and there will be no lamenting over her passing.


Her family will remember Dolores and amongst ourselves we will remember her in our own way, which were mostly sad and troubling times throughout the years. We may have some fond memories of her and perhaps we will think of those times, too. But I truly believe at the end of the day all of us will really only miss what we never had, a good and kind mother, grandmother and great-grandmother. I hope she is finally at peace with herself. As for the rest of us left behind, I hope this is the beginning of a time of healing and learning to be a family again.


There will be no service, no prayers and no closure for the family she spent a lifetime tearing apart. We cannot come together in the end to see to it that her grandchildren and great-grandchildren can say their goodbyes. So I say here for all of us, GOODBYE MOM.”


May this be the beginning of a new trend- speaking the TRUTH- yes, even of the dead.  It’s not OUR fault if the TRUTH is ugly.  Obituaries and eulogies are not supposed to be works of fiction.  They are supposed to reflect the way the deceased lived his or her life. 


Thank you Virginia, you have spoken for thousands of us today.  Godspeed on your journey to healing now that you are free, and peace to you and your family.  The Truth Shall Set You Free! (John 8:32).  “They have greatly oppressed me from my youth, but they have not gained the victory over me.  Plowmen have plowed my back and made their furrows long.  But the Lord is righteous; he has cut me free from the cords of the wicked”….Psalm 129: 2-4.