THE CONTROL FREAK- Coping With Those Around You, Taming The One Within


Coping With Those Around You.

Taming The One Within

By Les Parrott III, Ph.D.

Tyndale House Publishers, Inc.


            Les Parrott  is a Christian  psychology professor and author of several best sellers.  He is well-known in the Christian community and is the founder and co-director of the Center for Relationship Development at Seattle Pacific University.

            In this book, Dr. Parrott teaches us how to recognize a control freak and discusses their top ten characteristics- obnoxious, tenacious, invasive, obsessive, perfectionist, critical, irritable, demanding, rigid, and closeminded.  A Control Freak has little respect for privacy and snoops in areas that aren’t her business.  It doesn’t matter how illogical his argument or how insignificant his point, he won’t let go. He often zeroes in on some minor detail and don’t care about the big picture.  Compromise is unspeakable- she is right and everybody else is wrong.  She sets standards you never agreed to live by.  Anything and everything is cause for a tantrum.  He will make ridiculous demands and insist or coerce you into doing things his way.  He uses criticism as a terrific tool to get people to do what he wants them to.

            There is a Control-Freak Self-Test which will tell you if you know a control-freak.  Yes or No questions include:  If something isn’t exactly to this person’s liking, he or she reflexively points it out- even at the risk of embarrassing others; It seems that winning an argument is more important to this person than finding the best solution; and If this person doesn’t get what he or she wants, you can count on a good display of anger, pouting, or the silent treatment.

            The WADIT Principle is explained in a grimly humorous way.   We continue forever to do something silly that doesn’t make sense because of the WADIT Principle- because that is the way We Always Did It.

            Various types of Control-Freaks are discussed, as well as how to cope with them, including chapters on The Pushy Parent and The Invasive In-Law.  Each chapter includes a self-test so you can see if you have  a Pushy Parent or Invasive In-Law.  Setting boundaries, saying “No”, forgiveness, identifying your own reactive style, and making decisions are all discussed.  We are also taught how to tame our own controlling tendencies.  This is a very interesting and informative book for those with controlling family members, or other controlling people in their lives.