Repenting & Apologies

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REPENTING AND APOLOGIES

REPENT:  TO TURN FROM SIN AND DEDICATE ONESELF TO THE

AMENDMENT OF ONE’S LIFE; TO FEEL REGRET OR

CONTRITION; TO CHANGE ONE’S MIND

Source: Webster’s 9th Collegiate Dictionary

           

“AND JESUS SAID UNTO HER, NEITHER DO I CONDEMN THEE: GO, AND SIN NO MORE“…John 8:11 KJV.

           

            When Jesus forgave the adulteress in John Chapter 8, he said, “Go, and sin no more.”  He did not say, “OK, I forgive you this time, now go right back to what you were doing wrong, and every time you do more evil, just come on back and I’ll forgive you again.”  In order to merit forgiveness, CHANGE (repentance) is required. A sincere apology and the changing of one’s hurtful ways, along with a little time, is often all it takes to restore trust in a damaged or lost relationship. Normal folks have no problem smoothing things over,  making amends for an offense, or being remorseful for hurting someone who loves them, especially if it means staying on good terms and keeping the relationship intact.  It seems so simple. And it’s the only way possible to restore the damaged bond.  So why the abuser’s extreme reluctance to do it?

            Abusers and control freaks love having the upper hand.  Humbling themselves to sincerely apologize is rarely something they’re willing to do, much less committing to a change in behavior.  That would require effort on their parts, and the sad truth is, to them, we’re just not worth that effort.

            You see, they know something that we don’t know.  They know that our bond with them is not based on love.  It’s based on domination, co-dependency, fear, resistance to change, and addiction.  They know from past experience that they DON’T HAVE TO treat us well.  They can treat us like garbage, and we’ll still stick around for more.  They have no motivation at all to apologize or change their ways, because they don’t take us seriously, and they don’t care one bit about our feelings.

            But with God’s grace, we can find the courage to change our lives for the better, with or without our abusers.  An important step in deciding whether to stay in a relationship, or end it, is learning to recognize sincere apologies and true remorse, and understanding that these are essential to replacing our one-way, toxic relationship with a healthy bond.

FOOLS MOCK AT MAKING AMENDS FOR SIN, BUT GOODWILL IS FOUND AMONG THE UPRIGHT….Proverbs 14:9 NIV

LET THE WICKED FORSAKE HIS WAY, AND THE UNRIGHTEOUS MAN HIS THOUGHTS; AND LET HIM RETURN UNTO THE LORD, AND HE WILL HAVE MERCY UPON HIM….Isaiah 55:7 KJV

BUT BECAUSE OF YOUR STUBBORNNESS AND YOUR UNREPENTANT HEART, YOU ARE STORING UP WRATH AGAINST YOURSELF FOR THE DAY OF GOD’S WRATH, WHEN HIS RIGHTEOUS JUDGMENT WILL BE REVEALED.  GOD WILL GIVE TO EACH PERSON ACCORDING TO WHAT HE HAS DONE…..Romans 2: 5-6 NIV     

   

For more on this topic, please see the Sections on FORGIVENESS,REBUKING, THE ABUSER’S REACTIONS TO REBUKE, THE SILENT PARTNER & THE SILENT MAJORITY, REPROBATES & CUTTING TIES, and  SETTING & ENFORCING LIMITS & BOUNDARIES .