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A MAN’S ENEMIES WILL BE THE MEMBERS OF HIS OWN HOUSEHOLD…..Matthew 10:36 NIV
CONSIDER IT PURE JOY, MY BROTHERS, WHENEVER YOU FACE TRIALS OF MANY KINDS, BECAUSE YOU KNOW THAT THE TESTING OF YOUR FAITH DEVELOPS PERSEVERANCE. PERSEVERANCE MUST FINISH ITS WORK SO THAT YOU MAY BE MATURE AND COMPLETE, NOT LACKING ANYTHING…..James 1:2-4 NIV
BELOVED, THINK IT NOT STRANGE CONCERNING THE FIERY TRIAL WHICH IS TO TRY YOU, AS THOUGH SOME STRANGE THING HAPPENED UNTO YOU: BUT REJOICE, INASMUCH AS YE ARE PARTAKERS OF CHRIST’S SUFFERINGS; THAT, WHEN HIS GLORY SHALL BE REVEALED, YE MAY BE GLAD ALSO WITH EXCEEDING JOY….1 Peter 4:12-13 KJV
GLORY TO GOD! SISTERS, WHENEVER YOU WONDER ‘WHY?’, AND YOU ARE THINKING AND SEEING WITH WORLDLY EYES, DO NOT LOSE SIGHT OF THE BIG PICTURE – GOD’S PICTURE! GOD IS ALWAYS IN CONTROL! PRAISE HIS WONDERFUL NAME!
Nowhere in the Bible are we instructed to ‘psychoanalyze’ offensive/abusive people. We are not told in the Scriptures to try and ‘understand’ why our abuser behaves as she does. We are not told to excuse her abuse because she herself was an abused child, she has ‘issues’, low self-esteem, “personality disorders”, etc., etc. Instead, we are taught how to respond to abuse, and how to deal directly with offenders and their behavior, regardless of their ‘reasons’. We are told, very clearly, to rebuke, to forgive if there is repentance, and to have nothing to do with her if there is no repentance. (Luke 17:3, Ezekiel 33:8-9, Titus 3:10-11, 1 Timothy 5:20, Matthew 18:15-17
***For more on this subject, see sections on Forgiveness, Rebuking, Repenting & Apologies, Setting & Enforcing Limits & Boundaries, The Silent Partner, and Reprobates & Cutting Ties.
****For those dealing with extreme cases (see ‘Reprobates & Cutting Ties’), we also recommend the book, ‘THE SOCIOPATH NEXT DOOR- 1 in 25 Ordinary Americans Has No Conscience And Can Do Anything At All Without Feeling Guilty. Who Is The Devil YOU Know?’ by Martha Stout, Ph.D.
Here are some worldly reasons for abusive behavior. Can you think of any others? Please contribute to our site-let us know your ideas and we’ll add them to the list! Thanks!
***A Special Thank You to all who took the time to contribute to this list. We can learn so much from your voices of experience! God bless you all:)
They need to believe you’re still their ‘little girl’ in need of discipline and rearing
Jealousy or Envy
Guilt
They want revenge against someone who hurt them, but because they can’t get it, they act out their fantasies on those close to them.
Threatened by you in some way (your intelligence, independence, strength, sense of humor, etc.)
Inferior-feeling and need to bring you down to their level
Attention-grabbing
They mistake your ‘niceness’ for ‘weakness’, and they prey on weak people.
Thinks others ‘owe’ them
They thrive on conflict and crisis
Power-trip
Selfish, it’s all-about-me attitude.
Because they can get away with it
They think things will fall apart if they don’t run the show
Trying to deflect attention away from something they’re doing by drawing attention to you in a negative way
Enjoy causing trouble and upsetting others- as if they were the puppet-master and you were the puppet
Miserable in their own lives, and misery loves company
Superior feeling- think they have the right to judge or criticize others
THEY DON’T CARE about you or anyone else but themselves. You are only there to benefit them. When you cease to be useful or don’t give the Narcissistic Supply they want, they will punish you.
They resent you for rocking the boat
You make them look cowardly when you finally take a stand
You make them take a harder look at their own relationships by taking a stand in your relationships
They abuse & control you because it works!